Love

I just love herWhen I think about how long my son-in-law, Travis Royce has been married to my daughter, Amy…I have to say it is hard to believe. Not that they have stayed together, but rather that it has been that long already. It seems like just yesterday that we were planning their wedding, and now their kids are grown, or close, since Shai graduated this past year, and Caalab graduates this spring. Where have all the years gone? So many things have changed for Amy and Travis. Their children are almost grown, and they are probably looking at being empty nesters before long.
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After all these years, I can honesty say that Travis has made Amy’s life interesting…and fun. He is so quick witted that you never know what he might say. That doesn’t seem to matter to Amy though. She takes all his jokes in stride, and laughs right along with him. To hear Travis talk, Amy is an ultra-abuser…of course, the truth is that Amy is a peacemaker, and wouldn’t hurt a fly. But then, what spouse hasn’t joked that his wife will beat him if he doesn’t get home on time. As long as it’s all in fun…no harm, no foul. As I said, you never know what jokes might come out of Travis’ mouth, but then Amy can go back and forth with the best of then too, so she just shoots it right back at him.

A house filled with laughter is a great place to be, and I have no doubt that the laughter is a large part of what keeps them together. Laughter can be like glue. Of course, you also need love, and love is alive and well in their house too. Amy and Still togetherTravis complete each other. I can’t imagine one without the other anymore. After a while, some people just seem to have been made for each other, and of course, that is exactly what I believe to be the case. I believe that the Lord made them to be each other’s soul mate and other half. There is so much love between them, and it is so obvious that it is there. It shows up in the little things they do for each other, and just the quite touch in passing, but there is also the very demonstrative way that they have with each other. Travis might spontaneously kiss Amy on the cheek or just put his arm around her, simple because she is beside him, and Amy is the same way with him. It is a show of the never ending love they have for each other. Happy anniversary Amy and Travis!! Have a great day!! We love you both!!

imageMost men try to come up with a special way to ask their girl to marry them, but my nephew, Allen Beach takes the prize as far as I’m concerned. Allen and his girl, Gabriela Arizola have been dating for a year and a half now, and both are stationed in Yokosuka, Japan in the Navy. Allen will be finished in October of this year, while Gaby will have another year. She will relocate to Washington DC in November. For now though, they have been taking advantage of the opportunity to see some areas of the world that would not be so easy to see if they weren’t in the military…such as Bali, Indonesia, which Allen took advantage of a couple of days ago, when he and Gaby were taking an elephant ride.

Now I’ve heard of proposals in restaurants, balloons, and even in the rain, but this is the first one that I’ve heard of that took place on the back of an elephant. Allen has known for some time now that he was going to ask Gaby to marry him…since Christmastime to be exact. He even told his mom about his plans, and immediately swore her to secrecy. Caryl said it was the hardest thing she had to do in a long time.

Allen and Gaby are both fitness buffs. They love jogging and lots of other forms of exercise. Maybe that was part of what attracted them to each other. I’m not sure, but having things in common is what keeps relationships together. Whatever the attraction was, their love has blossomed, and now it has gone to the next level…because Allen asked, and Gaby said yes.

I don’t know where their lives will take them. They like Washington DC, so maybe that’s where they will stay, or maybe the west coast which is where they are both from originally. It really doesn’t matter where you land I guess, it who you take the journey with. I can tell you that these two kids have been in love with each other practically from the moment they met. I know their lives will be amazing. Congratulations Gaby and Allen on your engagement. Now, let the journey begin. We love you both.

scan0002I find it amusing when little kids are, for lack of a better word, attracted to each other. It isn’t a sexual thing, but rather a friendship. Nevertheless, they know who they like and they aren’t afraid to show it. You might see two little kids kissing or holding hands. They don’t feel self conscious, they just know that they like each other.

That’s the way it was when my sister-in-law, Jennifer was babysitting a couple of kids the summer she was 15 and since we lived next door at the time, my daughters, Corrie and Amy were over there a lot too. Jay Dee, the little boy Jennifer was babysitting took a shine to Corrie. He decided that she was his girlfriend…sorry Kevin, this was before your time, and I don’t think Jay Dee cared anyway.

The kids played together all the time that summer, and got to be really good friends. I don’t recall if they did any kissing or not, but they did hold hands, and as you can see, Jay Dee put his arm around Corrie. Ahh…young romance.

Of course, Corrie’s young romance didn’t turn out the way her Grandma and Grandpa Schulenberg’s did. They met when he was 4 and she was 2 and theirs ended up being a forever kind of love. Corrie would go on to meet Kevin before deciding that he was the one, and I have no idea who Jay Dee married. Theirs was just a passing kid kind of young romance.

Whatever happens in those little kid or even baby young romance situations, it’s not really about any kind of real romance, it’s just about learning to express their feelings. It’s about them making their own decisions on who they like and don’t like. Kids are brutally honest about their feelings…good or bad, and sometimes that can be problematic, because while they are very willing to show how much they like other kids, they are also very willing to show that they don’t, and as I recall there was just as much fighting between those two kids as there was romance. Maybe that’s why Corrie married Kevin instead.

My parents on their wedding dayNot a day goes by that I don’t think of my dad, but especially today, on my parents’ 61st wedding anniversary. It seems impossible that my parents have celebrated the last seven anniversaries apart. That has been real hard on my mom. She misses Dad so much. Nevertheless, she keeps on living, because she knows that is what Dad would want. Dad loved life. He loved travel, sports, the outdoors, and mostly his family.

Together they raised their five daughters to be well mannered, responsible adults, all of whom love the Lord. And they loved each other through all of life’s ups and downs. Dad was always Mom’s rock…in fact, he was that for all of us. If ever there was a typical, old fashioned, “Father Knows Best” type of dad in real life, he was it. Dad was always able to keep all of us grounded. Whenever there was a problem, we looked to Dad on how to solve it. This was a wonderful trait of Dad’s that many people noticed, and I think it was one of the things that ultimately attracted Mom to Dad in the first place.

Mom and Dad were always so good together. Not many people can actually work together, but they could and did for many years. They were two people who truly wanted to be together 24/7. They never really needed space from each other, and never liked it when they were apart. So many people these days have girls night out or guys night, and there is nothing wrong with that, but it was just never my parents’ style. When they said, “I do”, they meant “I do…together with you”. They were such a team. When you saw one, you expected to see the other. They completed each other.

It’s hard to think of another year without Dad being here. It seems so impossible, even Dad and Momtoday…7 years later. Nevertheless, he is here with us in our hearts, and the love Mom has for him is as strong as ever. Theirs is a love to stand the test of time and beyond. What one lacked, the other made up for. It was pretty much love at first sight for these two, and love forever after. Mom was Dad’s princess, and he was her prince charming. It was a storybook romance, that would always retain that storybook feel. I wish my dad could be here to celebrate their 61st anniversary too, but I know that he is celebrating in Heaven, and looking forward to the day when they will be together again. Happy 61st Anniversary to our wonderful parents. We love you both so very much. You are the best parents ever.

Corrie and Kevin Petersen Wedding Day July 17, 1993Every year I find myself surprised at how many years my kids have been married. This year is my daughter, Corrie and her husband, Kevin Petersen’s 21st wedding anniversary. Twenty one years…how can that be!! Of course, they have been together for 24 years now, and that is even more surprising to me. They should both still be kids…not have kids who are adults or almost adults. How could time have passed so quickly? No matter why or how, they have arrived at that 21st anniversary, and because they did, Bob and I have been incredibly blessed. They gave us two wonderful grandsons, Chris and Josh, and so many other blessings, as they have given of themselves whenever we needed something. They have proven to be a wonderful couple who have given of themselves to make life wonderful for those around them.

When kids are teenagers, you have no idea who they will become. They are so emotional that you wonder if they will live long enough to become adults…or if you will live through those teenage years, but then…suddenly, as quickly as they became teenagers, they become adults, and you are left to wonder where all those years went. We could not have asked for better adults than Corrie and Kevin have become. I love their ways of teamwork and fellowship. They are so connected to each other. Theirs is a love for all time. They are soul mates, and that is how it should be.

Every parent hope that the marriage of their child will last, and we are no exception. When your daughter gets married, you almost hate to let her go. You pray that this man will treat your princess with the love and respect that you know she deserves. Kevin was that knight in shining armor that Corrie was looking for. He may not have had a horse, but he drove cars with plenty of horsepower!! Thankfully for her momma, Kevin was not the show off kind, and he felt no need to race around, he just liked those nice cars…still does, by the way. But more The Petersensimportant than his cars, is his family.

Kevin became a “sold out” family man on February 28, 1996, and he has never gone back. He and Corrie are all about their family. Whatever their boys are doing…is what they want to be doing or watching. Whether it is sports, cooking, fishing, camping, games, or just hanging out…that’s what they do. Theirs has been a wonderful journey, and one they are happy they took together, and I’m so happy that they’re happy, because really that is what it’s all about. Happy 21st Anniversary Corrie and Kevin!! You have made our lives rich with your kind ways. Have a lovely day!! We love you!!

BobCaryn and Bob share a laughNot everyone is so blessed, as I am, to be married to the love of their life…and I have been for nearly 40 years now. Bob and I met when I was still in high school, and married in March after I had graduated. He stole my heart the day I met him, and he didn’t even know it for a while. That’s how Bob is though. He really doesn’t know what a great guy he is. There is no conceit in him at all. That’s ok though, I know how great he is, so I’ll take care of that part for both of us. Bob has always been a hard working man, who never was one to act proud or arrogant. I suppose that is a big part of his charm.

As a dad, Bob was so sweet, but he was a little out of his league when it came to discipline with the girls…in reality, it is a well known fact that the girls had him wrapped around their little finger…at least a little bit. No, a lot. A little batting their eyelashes, and a little “I love you Daddy” and he was in a lot of trouble. Thankfully, I was a pretty strict disciplinarian, and I think it might have been easier for me to discipline the girls than for him. Maybe if they had been boys he could have done better. I’m not so sure. He is pretty soft hearted…but really, that is a big part of his charm too. I suppose some people might not think it is charming for him to be a softy, but to me it is.

As our family has grown up and moved into their own homes, Bob and I find ourselves in the couple time of our life again, but that doesn’t mean that we are without responsibilities. We take care of parents, and that is a big job, but it is one I would not want to tackle without the love and support of my man. There are times that I have to go to the hospital in the middle of the evening, and I’m there most of the night. Bob is so understanding about this situation. It frees me up to do the things I need to do to care for our moms.
Bob in the Black HillsBob with Corrie, Caryn with Amy - July 30, 1976
I couldn’t ask for a more wonderful man than Bob. The last 40 years have been amazing. I look forward to each new day with him, because it just gets better and better. Today is Bob’s 60th birthday. Bob it has been such an amazing life. I am so happy that we have taken this journey together. Happy birthday Sweetie!! I hope yours is a wonderful day!! I love you with all my heart!!

Alena nowThey say that when a girl picks a man to be her husband, she often picks a man who is much like her dad. It isn’t maybe a conscious thing, but it seems to be a fact anyway. Maybe it’s because for a girl, their dad always makes them feel like a princess, so it can be hard to move away from that when you get married. I think to a degree, most girls pick someone similar to their dads, because that is the first male influence on their lives, but it would sure seem that, my sister, Alena Spencer Stevens came the closest of any I’ve ever seen when she married her husband, Mike Stevens. I don’t know if she saw the Dadsimilarities back then, but I doubt it, because I don’t think most girls choose a husband based on that similarity, but she definitely sees it now. Mike is a lot like Dad in his work ethic, the type of work he can do, and in his mannerisms and temperament. They are even similar in their looks!

Alena loves to do many of the recreational things that our dad loved to do, such as camping and fishing, and she loves to sit around a campfire, so much so, that she and Mike were the first in our family to buy a backyard fire pit. That is very Dad like. I suppose that being Dad like is one of the main reasons that Alena would choose a man who is much like Dad to be her husband, because that is the type of person she is most comfortable with.Mike Stevens

Alena is a very soft hearted person, and like Dad, she doesn’t like to see people being picked on, unless of course, it is in fun, and then she would prefer to be the one doing the picking, rather than being picked on…but then, wouldn’t we all. Alena is pretty good at playing practical jokes too. In fact, she has been since she was a little girl. She pulled enough pranks on the rest of us over the years, that we learned to be pretty watchful of her. It was the best way to defend yourself. Her favorites were, of course, the ones where the rest of us ended up scared, so she could laugh at us for being a chicken…I wonder why, when we thought someone was breaking in when Mom and Dad weren’t home and it was midnight or so. Good job Alena!! Today is Alena’s birthday. Happy birthday Alena!! Have a great day!! We love you!!

Hard Working ManMy dad was a hard working man, really from the time he was a kid. He helped out on the farm when he was a young man, then when he moved to California at 17 years of age, he did the work of a grown man, while he was still the age of a boy. That work ethic was something he learned growing up and it never left him. Through World War II and beyond as he moved around the country, while deciding where he wanted to live, he always had a job. He believed that work, any kind of work was a noble undertaking, and he did every job to the best of his ability.

When I was a little girl, he was working at a job that took him out of town sometimes. I really hated that particular job. I didn’t want my daddy to leave to go out of town all the time. It wasn’t that I was so young that I didn’t remember him when he got back, because I did, it was that I missed him so much that I could hardly stand it. I just didn’t think daddies should go out of town. He was supposed to be at home, with his family. I can’t say that the years have changed my opinion on that idea either, although I do understand that sometimes men have to go out of town for work. That is just the way things are sometimes. I just didn’t understand that as a child.

One time after Dad left to go out of town, I got sick. My stomach ached, and I just didn’t feel well, in general. Mom put me to bed and took care of me, as you would expect a mommy to do, and since it was nothing serious, there was no need to go to the doctor. We figured it was just a flu bug, and it would go away in a couple of days…and so it did, but not in the way you would expect. It was the strangest thing, but the minute my daddy got home, everything was fine, and I had not been faking illness either. This was similar, I suppose to being homesick, grandpa spencer050only in reverse. I wanted my daddy home so badly that I felt homesick for him. I was so happy when he came home. Everything was right again. Our family was all together again.

Dad was always the hero to his daughters. We knew that no matter what happened, Dad could fix it. That was just the way it always was. Dad was a problem solver, and his presence in our lives always made us feel stable and complete. We were always Daddy’s Girls…all of us, including Mom. And he always made us feel like we were his princesses. I guess that was why having him gone, out of town for work, or now, in Heaven, makes this world feel like something just isn’t right. And it isn’t, because my daddy isn’t here, and I miss him terribly. Today, my dad would have been 90 years old. Happy birthday in Heaven Dad. We love and miss you very much, and we can’t wait to see you again.

Bertha & Elsa School DaysDuring the twenty six long years when my great grandmother, Henriette Albertine Hensel Schumacher was confined to a wheelchair with debilitating arthritis, her husband, my great grandfather took care of her with the help of his children…especially my great aunts, Bertha and Elsa who gave up the hope of marriage and a family in their young years, for the love of their parents and with and understanding of their need. Because my great grandmother was only fifty years old when she was struck with this disease, her youngest daughters, Bertha and Elsa were only 11 and 8 years old. Those girls would barely remember a time when they were not caregivers for their mother, and later for their father too. The time went by so quickly, and suddenly they looked back and the time for having a family was long past for them.

I don’t think that most people, or at least most of those who have never been a caregiver, have any idea what a monumental job it is to care for someone. It takes a willingness to give up your own desires, hobbies, activities…basically your life, to help someone else who is not in a position to help themselves. And, it isn’t always the person who needs the care that is the most helped, but rather their spouse, who has been trying to handle it themselves, and trying to figure out what has happened to their strength, their ability to handle everything in their Spencer Schumacher Family cover photo2life, and how they could have come to a place where their only hope lies in the strength of their children, who still have the advantage of youth’s strength and energy. This was the place my great grandfather, Carl Schumacher found himself in, as the years passed and he came to the understanding that he would have to lean heavily on his two youngest daughters to keep things going.

I have to wonder if great grandpa felt a lot of guilt over what his daughters gave up in life to help him. He was such a loving, caring person, who had always been able to take care of all the needs of his family, and he just could not do this alone. He simply had no choice but to rely on them for help. He was getting older, and he was getting tired. I’m sure Bertha and Elsa would have had it no other way. These were their parents, and they loved them. Still, they never forgot the day that their dad said, “What would I do without you girls?” I know from my own experiences as a caregiver, that while you don’t need to have the patient constantly saying “thank you”, there is something to be said for hearing that your hard work has positively effected their lives. They were both rewarded in later years with wonderful husbands, and even thought it was for a Bertha & Arthur Hallgren and Elsa & Frank Lawrenceshort time they were blessed in that way too in the end.

In my years as a caregiver, I have had the opportunity a number of times to hear or be told that without my help, they couldn’t have stayed in their homes this long, and it does make you feel good about your work. Nevertheless, like my great aunts, I know I would do the work whether the praise came or not, because it truly is about making their lives better, and not about the praise I received. It’s all about the love I have for those I care for. I’m very proud of my great aunts, that they did what they needed to do to help their parents, and someday, I’ll have the chance to tell them that myself.

189364_10150121777537236_628887235_6455460_2649592_nBeing a matchmaker can backfire on a person, when things go wrong, or it can bring great joy…usually to several people when things go right. Most often in these situations, the matchmaker is trying to match two of their friends together, so they don’t want things to go wrong. There are no guarantees that either of their friends will still be their friends if things go bad. Of course, in my niece, Machelle’s situation, she had better than average odds…at least on one side, because one of the friends was her Uncle Ron Schulenberg. If things go bad, your uncle is still your uncle right? Nevertheless, Machelle loved her friend, Rachel Franklin too, and she didn’t want to lose that friendship, so she hoped her matchmaking skills would work.

As it turned out, Machelle is a pretty good matchmaker, because her Uncle Ron, and her best friend, Rachel Franklin not only liked each other enough to continue dating, but they decided to get married. That did create a bit of an odd situation, because now, Machelle’s best friend is her Aunt Rachel. Now, I have never heard Machelle call Rachel…aunt, but the reality is that Rachel is Machelle’s aunt. And like it or not, it’s all Machelle’s fault. It isn’t often that you can take a friend that is pretty close to your own age, and change them into your aunt.

Ron and Rachel hit it off immediately, and Ron began making bi-weekly trips from Casper to Powell to see Rachel. Since it was getting to the point where Ron was spending almost as much of his free time in Powell, as he was in Casper…well, the next logical step was to put a lot less distance between Ron and Rachel, so they got married on June 12, 2010, and Rachel and her boys moved to Casper.
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Suddenly, for the matchmaker, the tables had turned. Yes, her matchmaking skills had proved to be very keen. Nevertheless, in the end, she did lose her friend…so to speak. Not only was her friend, Rachel, now her Aunt Rachel, but she had to move 4 hours away, so getting together became much harder. Sometimes, a person can “good deed” themselves right into a situation they don’t particularly like…at least not totally. Nevertheless, Ron, Rachel, and Machelle really wouldn’t have this situation be any other way, because each one is right where that should be. Today is Rachel’s birthday. Happy birthday Rachel!! Have a great day!! We love you!!

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