Writing about my own birthday feels…more than strange somehow. The due date my mother was given for me was April 27th…my dad’s birthday. You can imagine how happy they were, but, as my dad liked to say, I was a stubborn child and refused to arrive on time. I know I’ve always been a stubborn person, but I don’t think that was always a bad thing. On its good side, I stick with something until I succeed, which I think of as a good quality. Still, my stubbornness wasn’t always entirely appreciated in my parents’ house when I was younger…unfortunately!!
I loved to debate…which my parents always called arguing…imagine that!! I had always had my own ideas, and I don’t think my parents really understood that, or maybe they just didn’t appreciate it. My dad probably gave me a bit more freedom in arguments than my mom would have preferred, and definitely more than my sisters thought I would survive. But somehow, I made it through childhood without my parents losing it too badly over my stubbornness, and I managed to make it into adulthood.
I think it was in adulthood that I really grew into my stubbornness. I’ve always hated losing, and it’s that stubborn streak that pushes me to keep trying and working at something until I succeed. I’ve always felt my stubbornness played a big role in why my marriage worked…along with the fact that Bob shares the same stubbornness and distain for losing. Like anyone who’s been married a long time, I’ve read all kinds of opinions on what makes a marriage succeed, but I believe that if you don’t stubbornly commit to making it work, it just won’t. No one can follow every suggested step to a perfect marriage…not if they’re actually living life. You just have to love each other, accept your spouse for who they are, and learn to get along. Of course, loving your spouse naturally involves some of those “steps,” but they happen on their own, not through planning.
My stubbornness played a role in my career too. It is what made me work hard and made me determined to succeed. It is also that stubbornness that makes me fight for the health of those I love. As a caregiver, I hated to have to put my parents or in-laws in the hospital. I wanted them to be healthy, and it infuriated me when I couldn’t keep them healthy, but I rejoiced when I was able to bring them home and watch them get strong 
again. I feel the same way about my husband and my aunt. My stubbornness also makes me work hard on my health.
Most people see stubbornness as a negative trait…one to avoid, but not me. I’ve learned to accept mine and even be grateful for it. It’s become a defining part of who I am. I think that’s because there are both good and bad kinds of stubbornness, and I’ve chosen to make mine work in a positive way. Stubbornness can be embraced and used to our advantage, but only if we make sure that it is directed at positive things and not at negative things.
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