Loss
When my mom, Collene Spencer married my dad, Allen Spencer, they moved from Casper, Wyoming, to Superior, Wisconsin. She was young and unprepared for the loneliness that came with being so far from her parents and their big family. As the middle child in a family of nine, she was used to always having people around her…sisters to talk to and do things with, and brothers who teased her but also did the kindest things for her. Marriage was exciting, but being so completely on her own was also incredibly scary and unfamiliar to a young bride of 17 years.
When she arrived in Superior, Wisconsin…as happy as she was, being married to my dad, my mom was still wondering if she would be able to make it in this new place, without her family. Then, she met her new sister-in-law…my Aunt Doris Spencer. Mom always told me that Aunt Doris saved her, in many ways. She was a new friend when my mom really needed one, and they became the best of friends…friends for life…even after my Aunt Doris and my Uncle Bill Spencer, who is my dad’s brother, were divorced.
Mom has shared countless stories about the adventures she and my Aunt Doris had. One of the funniest is how they were always on some diet, even though they weren’t really overweight and never stuck with it for long. I suppose they thought dieting together would help them stay committed, and plenty of people still believe that today, though it’s never been something that worked for me. They even tried odd ideas like crackers with ketchup and warm water.
Mom also appreciated the funnier side of my aunt. When Aunt Doris got her driver’s license, she was on her way to meet Uncle Bill at their cabin when a police officer pulled her over for speeding. He asked for her 
license, then stepped away from the car for a moment. Without handing it over, Aunt Doris simply drove off to the cabin. When she told Uncle Bill about it, he asked to see the ticket. “What ticket?” she replied. He said, “The ticket he gave you.” She answered, “He didn’t give me a ticket. He walked away, so I just left.” She figured he’d decided to let it slide. Uncle Bill panicked, certain the cops would come arrest his wife, but they never did. The officer must have found it hilarious, because he never followed up…much to Uncle Bill’s surprise. It’s the most unusual way I’ve ever heard of someone getting out of a traffic ticket. Today would have been my Aunt Doris’ 102nd birthday. Happy birthday in Heaven, Aunt Doris. We love and miss you very much.
I never would have thought…not in a million years…that my younger sister would go to Heaven before me, much less, that a year could have gone by since her home going, but here we are. My heart feels sad, but I know where my sister is, and so, I want to focus more on the beautiful parts of her life and not on the sadness of her passing. So much has happened since you went home, Alena, but then you already know all about it. Your daughter, Michelle and her husband, Matt are working diligently on their home, and I wish you could be here to share it with them, but I know that you can see how beautiful it is. Also, you are about to become a grandmother again…twice!! Garrett and Kayla will be having their baby about July 10th. Lacey and Chris will be having theirs about August 3rd. I’m sure you have already met these two precious babies…and you’re rejoicing for sure. We are rejoicing right along with you. Mike is doing his best, but he misses you so much, as expected. Mike loves you so much, and he always will.
This year has been terribly difficult for all of us. Alena, your presence strangely absent, and yet always with us 
will always be with us. It is comforting to know that you are with Jesus, living in the presence of our Heavenly Father, and sharing sweet time with Mom and Dad, as well as so many other family members who have gone on before. We will always wish that you could still be here with us, how could we not, and yet, Heaven is so much greater than anything we could possibly imagine, and we are so happy that you can be there. Now we will remember the good times of your life. Your wonderful sense of humor, and impish ways. You loved a good prank, especially if you were the one to pull it. I don’t think anyone could pull a prank better than you could. I really miss that. I feel like there has been a lot less pranking over this past year, sadly.
Always the cosmetologist in the family, you were the one most likely to cut your hair, or anyone else’s. Of course, as you grew up, you became very good at it. What might have started as a real chop job done by a 
crazy kid, ended up being the only stylist mom wanted to do her hair. It was a big responsibility, but you took it all in stride. You even did Mom’s hair and makeup on her final day, and she was beautiful. We couldn’t have trusted anyone else with such an important look. Now you and Mom, as well as Dad get to spend lots of time together, and we all look forward to joining you all one day. Your presence her will always be missed, but we could never ask you to come back to this place. Life here could never compare. Happy first year in Heaven. We love and miss you very much.
Whenever I think of my Aunt Deloris Byer Johnson, I can’t help but picture her smiling face. Aunt Dee was the creative spirit in my mother’s family, always finding ways to make life more fun. If she was around, her siblings knew things were about to get wild. She might see if a couple of kids could “fly” like the wind with a big trench coat or decide it was time for everyone to learn a new dance. With Aunt Dee, there was never a dull moment.
Aunt Dee was always filled with anticipation about the next step in life…even if it was just the next day. She always expected something amazing to happen, and if it didn’t, she figured out a way to make something happen. Aunt Dee wasn’t a troublemaker, just an excited kid, who made things happen in her life…fun things, and the beneficiaries of her playful spirit…often her siblings, reaped the rewards of her excitement. My mom, Collene Byer Spencer, used to tell me about all the fun things the kids did with her sister’s help. They were memories of her sister, that my mom treasured all her life. Mom and Aunt Dee were always close. They shared a zest for life that somehow kept them young at heart. Their sweet, sisterly relationship was a joy to watch. I saw a lot of commonalities in Aunt Dee’s and my mom’s personalities. They both had a flair for finding the silly side of life. I don’t suppose that’s a trait most people would find endearing, but I did, and it’s a memory I will always cherish.
When Aunt Dee got sick, I thought the joy might have faded, and maybe it did over time, but in those early days of her illness, that sweet smile never left her face. Every time I saw her, it felt like she was trying to cheer everyone else up. After she passed, the world seemed a little duller without her sweet spirit. She had always been such a big part of my life, and I knew I would miss her deeply. But I hold onto the knowledge that I will see her again in Heaven, and I look forward to that day. Today would have been Aunt Deloris’ 95th birthday. Happy birthday in Heaven Aunt Dee. We all love and miss you very much.
These days, most tsunamis come with some warning, at least since the 1946 wave that struck Alaska and Hawaii. Still, there are devastating waves that can’t be predicted and can be just as deadly as those the Pacific Tsunami Warning System alerts people about. One I’d never heard of until my sister, Cheryl Masterson, mentioned it a few days ago happened in Boston, Massachusetts on January 15, 1919. While it was a completely different kind of tsunami, it was still deadly. In fact, it was so unusual that many might doubt it’s a true story…but it really did happen.
At around 12:40pm on January 15, 1919, a tank holding 2.3 million gallons of molasses burst at the Purity Distilling Co. in Boston’s North End, sending waves of sticky syrup racing through the streets at nearly 35 miles per hour. Most people wouldn’t think of molasses as dangerous, but a 25-foot-high wave moving that fast can be as deadly as getting hit by a car. There was no warning, and honestly, there couldn’t have been. The molasses had 
been stored in the tank awaiting transfer to another plant, and with temperatures climbing rapidly, a bizarre and tragic chain of events unfolded. Witnesses said the ground shook like a tornado or a freight train was barreling down the street.
The Boston Globe reported that people were swept up by a rush of air and thrown several feet, while a truck was lifted by the powerful wave and hurled into Boston Harbor. The force was so intense it nearly knocked a railroad car off the city’s elevated tracks. The Boston Post painted a vivid, grim picture: molasses, waist-deep, flooded the streets, swirling around wreckage. Shapes struggled in the sticky mess. It was impossible to tell if they were human or animal. Horses perished like flies trapped on paper, sinking deeper the more they fought, and men and women endured the same fate.
The final death toll reached 21, with 150 injured. Victims were either crushed by debris-laden molasses or 
drowned in it. People and animals struggled, some beyond rescue. The cleanup was immense…fire trucks hosed down streets, and welders cut apart the tank. The harbor stayed brown until summer, and molasses seeped into every crack. It’s said that on hot days, the smell lingered for decades, though perhaps memory played a part. Public outrage led to a class-action lawsuit against the United States Industrial Alcohol Company, which had recently acquired the Purity Distilling Company. After three years of hearings, the company was found guilty of negligence and ordered to pay $600,000…nearly $10 million today…in settlements. The wave was as deadly as a tsunami, but no warning could have prevented the tragedy.
In a horrendous act, the co-pilot of a German airliner, Andreas Lubitz, intentionally flew the plane he was piloting at the time, into the French Alps, taking his own life and those of the 149 others onboard. The date was March 24, 2015, and at the time of the crash, Germanwings Flight 9525 was en route from Barcelona, Spain, to Dusseldorf, Germany. The plane took off from Barcelona around 10am local time and reached its cruising altitude of 38,000 feet at 10:27am. Shortly afterward, the captain, 34-year-old Patrick Sondenheimer, requested that the co-pilot, 27-year-old Andreas Lubitz, take over the controls while he left the cockpit, probably to use the restroom. At 10:31am the plane began a rapid descent and 10 minutes later crashed in mountainous terrain near the town of Prads-Haute-Bleone in southern France. The controlled flight into terrain left no survivors. Besides the two pilots, the doomed Airbus A320 was carrying four cabin crew members and 144 passengers from 18 different countries. Among the victims were three Americans.
During the post-crash investigation, the investigators found that when the captain left the cockpit, Lubitz locked the door and refused to let him back in. The black box they found recorded Sondenheimer desperately shouting at his co-pilot and trying to break down the door. Like most airlines, in an effort to prevent a 9/11 style attack, 
Lufthansa had reinforced the cockpit doors. Unfortunately, at the time of this horrible Germanwings crash, the airline was not required to have two crew members in the cockpit at all times like US airlines did. Flight data also revealed that earlier that day, Lubitz appeared to practice his suicide plan, repeatedly setting the plane’s altitude to just 100 feet when the captain was momentarily out, then quickly resetting it so that his plan went unnoticed.
In their investigation of Lubitz, the investigators found that he had a history of severe depression and, in the days before the crash, had searched online for suicide methods and information about cockpit-door security. It’s hard to know is a depressed person will commit suicide, but it seems to me that if this diagnosis was known, Lubitz should have been removed from flying duties. Nevertheless, while the German native who flew gliders as a teenager, had joined Lufthansa’s pilot-training program in 2008, but took a break in 2009, to receive treatment for psychological issues, he was allowed to return, earning his commercial pilot’s license in 2012. He began flying for Germanwings, a Lufthansa-owned budget airline, in 2013. In the months leading up to the crash, Lubitz visited multiple doctors for an undisclosed condition and had notes deeming him unfit to work, which he reportedly withheld from Lufthansa. Here again, the knowledge that he was a pilot should have 
caused the doctors to forward their findings to his company out of the utmost prudence. By the time all of this information came to light, it was too late.
Pilot suicides involving planes are uncommon. The New York Times reports that a US Federal Aviation Administration study found that, between 2003 and 2012, only eight out of 2,758 aviation accidents were determined to be suicides. While that is a good thing, it also indicates a need to better screen pilots on a regular basis. That may seem like an invasion of their privacy, but they are responsible for the lives of so many people every day, and they need to be held to a higher standard.
It’s hard to believe that my sister-in-law, Rachel Schulenberg, has been in Heaven for five years now. Rachel married my brother-in-law, Ron Schulenberg on June 12th, 2010, and with her came three children, Cassie Franklin, Riley Birky, and Tucker Birky, who Ron later adopted. Rachel was with is for 10½ years before she went home to be with her Lord at the very young age of just 45 years. While we only had Rachel with us for a fleeting moment, her impact far outlived her presence. Rachel was working at her church when she and Ron were introduced by her friend, Susan Griffith, who happened to be Ron’s niece. That introduction was the best thing that ever happened to my brother-in-law.
Rachel was very dedicated to our Lord and told everyone she met about Him. She was loved by everyone who 
met her. She had a kind and loving heart, and a sweet spirit. The 10½ years were the best years of Ron’s life. They were very happy. Before Rachel, Ron was adrift. She completed him, and her passing was a devastation to him. We all lost a very dear friend and family member that day. Rachel’s passing was very unexpected…a massive stroke too her from us before she knew anything was wrong. By the time Ron could get her to the hospital, the damage to her brain was irreversible. It was a terrible loss.
We all think of Rachel often, and we miss her a lot. Her passing is especially hard on Susan and her sister, Machelle Moore, because they knew Rachel the longest. At the time they introduced her to Ron, she was living in Powell, Wyoming, which is where Susan and Machelle live as well. Ron made a lot of trips from Casper to 
Powell in those early days. He was taken with her from the very start. It was probably the most the girls saw their uncle in years, but they were happy about that. They knew that Rachel was perfect for Ron, and he for her. Not all matchmaking works out so well, but this matchmaking event certainly worked out well. Today would have been Rachel’s 51st birthday. Happy birthday in Heaven, Rachel. We love and miss you very much.
mom
As another year passes, I find myself thinking a lot about my mom. It seems impossible that she has been living in Heaven for eleven years now. I know that, at some point. most people outlive their parents and go on to live the rest of their lives without them, but you are simply never ready for that day to arrive. You don’t want that day to arrive. And when it does, you are sure it must be a nightmare. Loving 
parents should be in your life well into your 70s anyway, but that was not to be.
Mom was a deeply devoted Christian who worked hard to learn and live by God’s ways and His Word. As I walk my own path with the Lord, I often think about all the people she inspired to give their lives to Him. My parents were strong spiritual leaders; they didn’t travel the world preaching, but they spoke to those around them, and their clean, upright lives spoke volumes. After Mom’s funeral, I was amazed by how many people shared how my parents had touched their lives. In their quiet, humble way, they drew many hearts to the Lord.
Mom was also a fun-loving and really goofy woman. She did her very best to make our lives happy and full of God’s joy. She sang to us, cheered us on, comforted us, and encouraged us. We never doubted her love for us. I miss my mom every day, and I know that I will see her again when I go to Heaven. Still, I can’t say that makes it any easier to think of eleven years without her. She will always be in my heart and on my mind. I love and miss you so much, Mom, and I’m thankful that you are in my future.
As the new year begins, we find ourselves thinking about our mom, Collene Spencer, as we do every New Year’s Day, because this would have been her 90th birthday. It’s hard to believe that she has been in Heaven for almost eleven years now. I know that she is celebrating with all the family who have gone before us. Of course, time means nothing in Heaven. Eternity knows no breakdown of the years. One second is the same as the next…pure blissful happiness. It doesn’t get better than that. They are all so very happy, and it makes it easy to be happy for them.
Nevertheless, it also accentuates the loneliness we feel here when we think of them. Sometimes, during the year, when we get busy with our lives, we are able to cope with their absence, at least until something reminds us of them or of a moment, and we miss them all over again. Then comes their birthday or death day and missing them becomes the main focus. Today, as we celebrate the new year, I am also thinking about how 
much I miss my mom. I cant believe that eleven years have come and gone since her went home. She had done all the things she had on her “bucket list” and she was ready. She had told us several times that she was ready, so while her leaving was shocking in one way, it wasn’t in another. They couldn’t even find a cause of death. She just left. That fact still amazes me, eleven years later.
When I think of Mom and Dad back together again, I smile. They were best friends. They never tired of being together. They loved to travel, taking their girls to many amazing places. Our travel was mostly in the United States, because they loved this country…and they wanted my sisters and me to know how wonderful it was. We saw many places in many states, and we knew how blessed we were. Not many kids in those days were as “traveled” as we were. From those trips came favorite places, and places we saw only once. From those trips came history lessons and simple fun times. While the trips were varied in many ways, there were many 
common parts…like the Oregon Trail markers. Those dreaded Oregon Trail markers…at least they were dreaded then. These days, because I love history so much, those markers are interesting, and I wish I could remember each one we visited and its location. They mean more to me now that I am older. I wish I had told my parents that. They would have loved it. Today would have been my mom’s 90th birthday. Happy birthday in Heaven, Mom. I know you and Dad, as well as Alena, are having a great celebration. Someday we will all celebrate together again. I look forward to it.
During my childhood years, my sisters, Cheryl Masterson, Caryl Reed, Alena Stevens, Allyn Hadlock, and I always knew where we would spend New Year’s Eve…and where our parents, Allen and Collene Spencer would spend theirs too. New Year’s Day was our mom’s birthday, and Dad loved to make it all a big deal. So, they threw a party and invited their friends and family. Because my sisters and I were there too, our cousins also came with their parents. That way it was fun for everyone, and no one needed a babysitter. Our little house was jam packed full of people and the party often flowed out into the yard, both front and back.
Those New Year’s Eve parties continued for the rest of Mom’s life, and beyond too. While there have been a few years without them, most years we had some kind of a party, but after mom passed, and since Dad had been 
gone for eight years by then, the parties were different…even while she was still with us. I remember one party in particular, when Mom was feeling a bit sad. You see, she and Dad always danced on New Year’s Eve, but Dad wasn’t there to dance anymore. Enter Jason Sawdon, my niece Jessi’s husband. Standing was difficult for Mom without a walker. That didn’t matter to Jason. He held her up in his strong arms so, she could have her New Year’s Eve dance that year. It was such a precious moment…one that my sisters and I will never forget.
These days, both Mom and Dad are in Heaven, as is our sister, Alena, so the party will be different again. Alena didn’t always come to the New Year’s Eve parties, but we always knew that she was here, on Earth. Now, she isn’t. Nevertheless, I know that she is watching the festivities with Mom and Dad from Heaven. The party will 
be different again, because that is just the way it is as time marches on. Things change. People are added to the family, and people leave to go to Heaven. Nevertheless, we are still a family, and I know that Mom and Dad are very pleased to see their descendants gathering together to bring in another year. While it’s different, it is always worth looking forward to. Each new year is worth looking forward to. It is a gift from God. So, here’s to 2026. Happy New Year everyone!! May the coming year be better than the last year.
When you lose a loved one, you somehow, logical or not, think that it will get easier as time goes by. Actually, you just get used to them being gone…until their birthday or their death day comes around. Then, it hits you all over again. That’s where I find myself today, missing my dad, Allen Spencer on the 18th anniversary of his passing. My dad was my hero, as is the case for many little girls, but he was also in the Army Airforce in World War II, and every one of the men who fought in that, or any other war is a hero. It takes guts, sacrifice, and much courage to fight in any war, and I am thankful that my dad made it home.
My dad always thought of others before himself. During the war, he wrote letters home, and while he knew that he was always in danger, Dad tried to reassure his mom that he’d come home safely, talking about the brand-
new B-17 Bomber assigned to him and his crew. You could feel the excitement in his words, as if he were speaking them directly to you. He described how the plane flew “so smoothly” and why “they call it the flying fortress.” He loved the beautiful new aircraft, but he also knew exactly what they would be flying into. He had hoped for a furlough before heading overseas, but that didn’t happen, and he still didn’t know where he’d be stationed, but he didn’t want his mom to worry. Flying into an uncertain future, unsure if he’d return, his thoughts were still for her and her feelings. That was just who he was. With determination, he promised he’d “return home in the same condition as he left,” protected by the plane built to be the “dread of the airways” and by God’s watchful care…and so he did. He was not even wounded…and we are grateful.
Dad was the perfect “girl dad,” always making sure his girls were happy and had what we all needed. We didn’t make life easy for Dad…especially in our teen years. Dad had to get up pretty early to get in the bathroom ahead of his five daughters and his wife, our mom, Collene Spencer, who didn’t get much chance in there either. Even with all the drama of teenaged girls, they were a team, and they were always there for us. We were so blessed with the parents we were given, and they day each of them went home to Heaven was the worst day ever. It’s so hard for me to believe that my dad has been in Heaven 18 years now. I can’t say it has become easier to face that fact, because it really never gets easier. You don’t get over this, you just get on with it. It’s what our dad and mom would want us to do, and so we have. We love and miss you all, Dad. Give Mom and Alena a hug from all of us.
