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When a parent loses a child, of any age, each birthday becomes a time to ponder on what might have been, if the child had lived. For so many parents, there are no answers. Their child is gone, and they have no way to gauge where they would be now or what they would be doing. There is just the emptiness of loss that is left, and wondering what might have been.
No new child can replace another child that has passed, but for my niece Jenny Spethman and her husband Steve, the fact that they had a rainbow baby, who was a girl named Aleesia Juliette, in some ways has helped a little bit. They have been able to envision what their little Laila Elizabeth would have been like at these ages. Of course, as I said, that does not replace Laila, and she is missed every single day, but God gave them Aleesia to cheer their broken hearts, at least a little bit.
Since today would have been Laila Elizabeth’s fifth birthday, they know that like Aleesia, Laila would have been going to pre-school, and learning all the exciting things that there are to see and do in this wonderful world that God created. She would have been a girly girl, like her sister, and they can envision the two of them giggling and laughing as they play their many little girl games. It’s easy to picture them both dancing around the room together, and yet chasing after their big brothers, Xander, Zack, and Isaac, because no little girl can be the little sister of three older brothers and not be a tiny bit tomboy. Laila would have been the princess of the house, just as her little sister, Aleesia is, and of course, she would be the boss of the boys like Aleesia is too, because those boys just think their sister hung the moon.
None of these things make this day, Laila’s 5th birthday an easier day to take, nor with they help with the day she went to Heaven, November 22, but in some ways, they do give a glimpse into what might have been. And if Jenny and Steve are able to use their imagination a little bit, I’m sure they can picture their little Princess Laila and their little Princess Aleesia playing together. They know too, that they will see Laila again when we all join her in Heaven, and I know that they know that her great grandparents, are all getting to know her right now, but the heart doesn’t understand those things any more than the little kids do. Their hearts just want her back, because thinking about what might have been isn’t the same as havimg her here at all, in fact, it is the hardest thing a parent will ever have to do.
Today is Princess Laila Elzabeth Spethman’s 5th birthday. She knows we love her, miss her, and can’t wait to see her again, and we know that she is happily playing in Heaven and having a wonderful day. You live in our hearts until we see you again. Happy birthday in Heaven Princess Laila!! Have a wonderful birthday!! We love and miss you very much!! Hugs and kisses baby girl.
When I was a kid, dressing up for Halloween was for kids. Things have changed since then and these days you see lots of adults going to parties, teenagers roaming the streets trick or treating, scaring kids or just acting weird…and of course, there are still the little kids doing their usual thing…collecting candy. It’s the night when everything is turned upside down. Kids are taken to do things they normally aren’t allowed to do…knock on the doors in their neighborhoods and ask for candy. Of course, most are also, schooled in all the safety tips designed to keep then safe as they go, because lets face it, they are excited, and there is always the possibility of one of them running across the street without really looking first…hence the need for watchful parents.
It’s much different today, than things were in my day, because while my dad always took us out trick or treating, we didn’t have to be worried about the candy we received. We made a haul. In fact, we took a pillowcase to collect our candy in, knowing full well that we would almost fill it up, and sometimes we even had to go home, empty it out and go out again. These days, kids only go to the homes of people they know…for the most part. Candy must be x-rayed to assure its safety. Many children are taken to places like the mall or to 
parties. All this to insure their safety in this unsafe world we live in now.
Most of the teenagers either don’t participate, work, or stay at home to hand out candy, but lots of them go out with their friends. One hopes that the majority of those teenagers are not out getting into trouble, but often that is not the case. At least for the troublemaking group. There are still good teenagers, who respect authority, their parents, and their elders. I am thankful that I live in a state where most teenagers are still taught good values, and I wish that was so in all the states in our nation.
This year, my youngest grandson, Josh Petersen is participating in something new for Halloween. Although it is not a Halloween event, it requires him to don a costume, but please don’t call it an outfit or costume, because it has a specific name…bunkers. Josh’s event is not a party or haunted house or really anything that has anything to do with Halloween, but is does require going into a situation that is very much out of the ordinary for him, and strange for us, his family, to think about. Josh is doing fire science training at the drill tower today. The training will include a practice fire, in which real fire will be used…hence the unusual situation ![10676195_10202953479705529_3463465173877702689_n[1]](https://carynschulenberg.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/10676195_10202953479705529_3463465173877702689_n1.jpg)
involving a building, that most of us would consider a nightmare if it happened in a building we were in. While these are not a real fire situations, it is these training sessions that prepare our firefighters for the real life scenarios they will face on the job. Yes, this is an unusual way for a seventeen year old to spend a Saturday, especially on Halloween, but it is one that Josh will find exciting, inspiring, and a great learning experience for the career he has chosen to take on. We are all very proud of him.
Whatever Halloween finds you and your family doing, I hope you have a great evening, be safe, watchful, respectful, and have fun. Happy Halloween!!
For children who are raised around livestock, walking among the giants is not an unusual event…even when they are as young as one year old and just barely walking themselves. For those of us who are not around livestock on a daily basis, the thought of those little tiny children walking among those giant horses is not so common, and therefore a bit of a shock to our system when we see it. It’s not that I think that my niece, Ashley Parmely’s parents’ horses would hurt her girls, Reagan and Hattie, because they are obviously very gentle. No, what I really find amazing about seeing the girls with the horses is an absolute lack of fear. They have been raised around the horses, and the other animals they raise, so they know how to act around them. They know that the horses will be gentle to them, if they are gently toward the horses, and what I find especially sweet, is the instinctive gentleness the girls have around the horses.
So many kids tend to pet an animal roughly, pull on its tail, or even hit the animal, but Reagan and Hattie have a deep love for their horses, and they are so gentle with them. The horses, in kind, return that love back to the girls. Their feelings are just so obvious. You might not think that an animal can have a look of love 
on their face, but I think these horses do. I’m sure my nephew, Eric Parmely, and Ashley, his wife, have taken the necessary time to prepare the horses for these little girls to be around them, and especially on the ground near their feet, and I’m sure they have taught the girls how to act around the horses too. Still, how much teaching can a three year old and a one year old have had to have prepared them to be so gentle around these giants. Yet, they are just that…gentle, sweet, and loving toward the horses.
Animals can sense things about people. They know when people are afraid. They can tell when people will be mean. And they can tell when a person is kind and gentle. And I think that with Eric and Ashley’s little girls, Reagan and Hattie, the horses sense a loving kindness and a desire to care for the horses that many children just don’t possess. I don’t know if Ashley was always raised around horses or not, but for as long as this family has known her, she has been around her parents horses. To her they are a part of the family, and that is how she is raising her little girls too. It’s really no wonder that the girls are at ease around the horses, and the 
horses around them. The girls probably seem like little sisters to them.
Nevertheless, I am still amazed that these two little girls are comfortable walking around with these giants. To me, the mere size of these horses would seem daunting if I were a girl as little as these girls. I love looking at these pictures though, because they portray a companionship that is very rare in the world I live in. I suppose that if I was raised on a ranch, maybe they would not seem so astonishing. And since, Reagan and Hattie will be raised in that environment, I suppose these are scenes that will not be so unusual. I think that these little girls will be very blessed to be comfortable, and yes, to just be allowed to walk among these giants.
For most of my life, I can say that I had never broken a bone. but on October 18, 2015, all that changed. As my associates, Jim Stengel and Carrie Beauchamp said, I have now “joined the Broken Bone Club” and that the only membership dues was to have broken a bone somewhere in the body. I didn’t really ever want to join this club to be honest. I think they view me as an overachiever though, because as everyone has told me, I did a bang up job on my shoulder. I was on a simple hike on Casper Mountain’s Bridle Trail to celebrate the victorious journey to health of my sister-in-law, Brenda Schulenberg, who had become ill two years to the day, and had gone on to make an amazing recovery. I suppose that it is true that I did a bang up job on my shoulder, in that you almost never see a break like this one, unless it was a bad car accident, or a bad fall. The fall itself wasn’t that bad, but the bone did break on impact. It was the twisting movement that happened after the break that caused the ball of my shoulder joint to twist a quarter turn in the socket, thus requiring surgery, including a plate and nine screws, to be necessary to make the repairs. That surgery was a week ago, and I have learned so much in that one very long week.
It has been just ten days since my life was turned upside down, and I went from being a caregiver to a care 
receiver. What a shock to my system that was. My mind does not really like the concept of needing help with my daily needs. Nevertheless, that has become the case. I am very thankful to the group of experienced people I had with me at the time of my fall. My sister-in-law, Jennifer Parmely is a nurse, and a friend of my sister-in-law, Brenda Schulenberg, Laura Murray is a physical therapist, The two of them immediately set about making a sling out of a Laura’s dog’s leash and Jennifer’s handkerchief. Jennifer’s boyfriend, Brian Cratty is an prior life flight pilot, and my husband, Bob Schulenberg and sister-in-law, Brenda are experienced caregivers. As I was laying on the ground trying to control the feeling of needing to pass out, two CNAs, who’s names I do not know, unfortunately, came up behind us and helped get me to my feet, and fashion a gait belt for me out of a sweatshirt, so I could walk the last three quarters of a mile to finish the hike and go to the hospital. I could not have asked for a better group of people to have with me…if I just had to break my shoulder.
While that group was amazing, and I owe then more than I can ever repay, it has been something within my self that I have found to be equally amazing, since my fall. It is the power I have in my right arm…the power of one, as I call it. People do not think about how many things take the use of both arms to do. When you are down to one arm, you find out just how strong…or weak it is. Thankfully for me, it was my non-dominate arm that suffered the break. My power of one level would have been far less successful had it been my dominate arm that suffered the break. Still, my right arm, which is the dominate arm, did have to be retrained. There 
were things that I simply could not do without assistance at first, but in my minds refusal to truly be a care receiver, I continued to think of ways and try to do things one handed, if I could find a way. In less than a day, I was able to put my contacts in one handed, with just the assistance of my teeth to open the container of my dailies lenses.
In less than a week I could dress myself, including jeans, for which I fashioned a way to button them with a ribbon and minimal help from my left hand. I figured our ways to get my shoes and socks on one handed too. I did makeup one handed and brushed my hair one handed. I typed my stories one handed, and even lifted my laptop onto my lap one handed. While there were a number of things I couldn’t do one handed, I must say, I’m surprised at the things I could. We don’t often think about how important it is to have both hands to perform our daily tasks, until we don’t have both hands. Having the use of just one arm is a set back to be sure, and a serious inconvenience, but after spending the last ten days in just that predicament, I can also say that I am very much amazed at the power of my one arm.
My niece, Susan Cook Griffith, spent a number of years working in the area of graphics. Then, she decided that it was time for a change. Susan accepted a position at Powell Valley Healthcare, where she works in Medicare Insurance billing for the nursing home. She also does bookkeeping for Body and Paint by Tait, which is where her husband, Josh works. I think that job has been a great blessing for Susan too, because she told me a while back that sometimes Josh has to work late into the evening, so she doesn’t get to see him as much then, and it makes it hard.
Susan and Josh are very much in love, and theirs is really a storybook tale of romance, so time spent apart is hard. I think those of us with a blessed, loving marriage can certainly relate to that. Theirs was a blended family, as Susan had a daughter, Jala when they met. Their marriage has been blessed with a second daughter, Kaytlyn, and now their family is complete. A couple of years ago, they moved to a piece of land by Josh’s parents, where they get to enjoy his parents’ horses. There are magnificent views and sunsets there, and Susan often posts pictures of them on Facebook. Being a sunset person myself, I can appreciate her great pictures of them.
Susan is very close to her sister, Machelle Cook Moore, and the two of them can often be found teasing each other on Facebook. It is a traditional sister thing, I think. Having come from a family of girls, and having two daughters myself, I can totally relate to the close relationships of sisters. Sisters are a unique group of people. There is a camaraderie there, that lasts a lifetime, and they usually share so many likes and dislikes that they are often more like best friends than sisters. That is how Susan and her sister, Machelle are. They often talk about what a great sister, their sister has. A comment that sounds so typical of my sisters and me, as well as my girls.
Susan loves being a wife and mother, and considers those jobs her main calling in life. She loves doing things for her daughters, such as the birthday party she threw for Jala this summer. Having a sleepover birthday party involves a lot of planning, and all the girls had a great time, so I know that Susan did a great job of 
planning it. Kids get bored easily, and you have to be on top of your game in order to have a successful party.
Susan and Josh love to take the girls camping, hiking, and fishing and do so as often as they can. They love being outdoors, which is probably one of the main reasons for the move to the country. Of course, for most campers, by this time of year, the camping is pretty much over for the season. I don’t camp anymore, but I hike, so summer ending is never a good thing. For Susan, it means no more camping though…until next year anyway, unless Josh likes to hunt. Today is Susan’s birthday. Happy birthday Susan!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
My niece, Dustie Masterson is the daughter-in-law of my sister, Cheryl Masterson. Dustie’s loyalty to her mother-in-law is quite unusual. I don’t say that there aren’t daughters-in-law who are loyal and loving toward their mothers-in-law, because there are, and I am one of them, but many don’t feel any real obligation to their in-laws. Dustie is different, however. With Dustie, I see a genuine loyalty, friendship, and even love for her mother-in-law. She has truly become a part of their family, a fact that we are all happy about.
Dustie works at Albertson’s here is Casper, in the produce department. She is a Fresh Cut Specialist and Supervisor. She is also over all the salads that are created in the store. She sees all the latest in different sauces and salsas, and often buys them for Cheryl to try. I’ve had the opportunity to try some of them too, and I find that Dustie’s likes and dislikes in the food arena are very similar to my own. It is a yummy connection when I get together with Cheryl and her family on Thursday nights. For Cheryl, it is a welcome help in the kitchen, and the fact that Dustie is a good cook doesn’t hurt either.
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Dustie’s life is usually very busy. With a husband and three children at home, and a full time job, she spends a lot of her time running whether it be at home, work, or errands. Evenings are spent helping the kids, Raelynn, Matthew, and Audrianna with their homework, and getting them lined out for school the next day. As most parents know, having kids in school is like being in school yourself, because you have to learn right along with them in order to help them with their homework, and yet, you have to be a teacher too, n that you can’t do the work, but rather you must make them do it with the proper amount of prompting. And of course, you have to be the educational encourager, to keep them motivated.
It’s a busy life that Dustie leads, but one that makes her very happy. Dustie has been a part of our family for over 12 years now, and I, for one, don’t know what we would do without her. She was a blessing during the years we were taking care of our parents, and she always will be. Today is Dustie’s birthday. Happy birthday Dustie!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
Being the youngest of my grandparents’ nine children, my Aunt Sandy Byer Pattan, has become my go to person for family history information. She probably got to hear all the stories more than the other kids, because when parents are busy raising a large family, there are always other priorities. Of course, story time was a big priority in their family too, because it was something they could all do together. I’m sure the other kids heard all the stories about their family too, but Aunt Sandy seems to be the one who was especially interested in the family history. There always seems to be one or two who can easily be named the family historian. For the Byer family, the family historian would most definitely be Aunt Sandy.
In some ways, Aunt Sandy almost got to be that “mouse in the corner” listening to what went on in history. She may not have been there experiencing it, but the family she knew and loved, were there, so it felt real. 
Some of the family history stories were in Aunt Sandy’s time…not that she lived in ancient times, but that she lived during times in our history that were economically tough. She witnessed times when people often showed up at their doorstep…hungry, and they had heard through the grapevine that generous people lived in that house. Aunt Sandy recalls that no one was turned away, because her mother always made a way to feed more hungry mouths. I can’t imagine living through some of those times, and not have it affect my interest in family history.
Aunt Sandy always has a bit of a unique take on the family and it’s members. She often sees a side of them, good or bad, that I would have never known about. Every family has its rebels, and every family has its conformists. That is just a part of life, and for me, each is interesting. The runaway husband story she told me about my second great grandfather, David Pattan left me wondering if he was a cheating husband or just a little bit insane. Unfortunately, those are questions without answers. She has told me about grouchier family members, Some of these, I suppose, were just naturally grouchy, but others, I think might have been overwhelmed. Each will be remembered for the choices they made, I guess.
As to my Aunt Sandy, I will always remember her for the insight she has given me into the great big family that I am honored to be a part of. I think that every family really needs someone like Aunt Sandy in it. She spent many years listening to, and remembering the details of the stories of the family. Her amazing mind allowed her to remember the stories without writing much of it down. If someone is interested, she is willing to share. That, in and of itself, is a big part of the blessing she is. I think everyone of the family members should take a few minutes to sit down with her and find out about all the amazing information she has. Today is Aunt Sandy’s 70th birthday. Happy birthday Aunt Sandy!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
My nephew, Tucker Birky is a child of mixed personal traits. He is hilariously funny, a rough and tumble boy, and yet, with a musical side. Most of the personality types that make up Tucker, are normal for a boy his age. He is funny, as I said, and that has a tendency to get him in a little bit of trouble. It is the class clown in Tucker, typical of so many boys his age that tends to disrupt the class a little bit, and teachers don’t seem to have a very good sense of humor when it comes to that stuff. Imagine that. Recess finds Tucker wanting to play a little bit rough. Tucker is full of energy, and that has to be used up at recess or it will explode somewhere else. So, the playground teacher has to reign him in some on that, but in all reality, Tucker tries to be a good boy, and that makes it hard for the teachers to get too awfully mad at him.
Tucker is an above average student. Math and reading are among his favorite subjects. While it is not uncommon for boys to like math, reading is often a subject that they couldn’t care less about, so for reading to be one of Tucker’s favorite subjects, is great. It is my belief that if a kid can read and comprehend, most can write their own ticket when it comes to their education. Recently, Tucker decided to learn to play the piano. Now, I can’t do it, so I am in awe of anyone who can read notes. I can sing, but to know what key works best for me or to know by the notes what direction a song is going next, so I think that is an accomplishment for Tucker to be very proud of.
Home life for Tucker always includes his older brother, Riley, who Tucker loves very much. Like a lot of little brothers, Tucker wants to do anything his older brother is doing. Riley is the guy Tucker wants to be just like someday. For Riley, that means being a good role model, because someone is watching every move you make, and following you around as much as he is allowed. Riley takes that seriously though. Evenings will often find him reading to his little brother, playing ball with him…any kind of ball will do, and the all important wrestling to help get rid of some of that pent up energy…an activity that always seems to find a good natured Tucker on the bottom, when all is said and done. Don’t get me wrong though, because when it comes to the many brotherly battles the two have had, Tucker has not lost all of them. He will need to understand that shooting your big brother with a BB gun is not the best plan, and is probably one that will get you in trouble with not only your parents, but with the older brother you want to be around. I’m sure that after that one, Riley told Tucker to go away, and so Tucker had lots of alone time to think about a better target to use.
Tucker is a kid who likes to help out around the house. I’m sure that is well received by his mom, who is my sister-in-
law, Rachel Schulenberg. Any time you can get a kid to pitch in around the house, you are just that much ahead of the game. Tucker also has a kitten named Jack Jack, who is his very own pet. Tucker is doing a great job of taking care of him, and Jack Jack loves him very much. In fact, the two of them are inseparable. Probably the biggest vise Tucker has is his addiction to candy…a problem that many of us can relate too. The old sweet tooth. The good news is that with birthdays come sweets, and today is Tucker’s 8th birthday. Happy birthday Tucker!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
My grand niece, Reagan Parmely arrived the day after her mother, Ashley Parmely’s birthday, three years ago. She was the first grandchild of her grandmother, Jennifer Parmely. The addition of Reagan, and then a year ago, of her little sister, Hattie, have brought new life and lots at activity to the family. She is a busy girl, and she is teaching her little sister the ropes. Together, they keep their parents running. When the rest of your family is adults, the addition of two busy little girls can be a culture shock…even if the parents are active.
Having two daughters of my own, I can relate to the kinds of activity the Parmely family has going on these days. Reagan has had a busy summer, of swimming and playing outdoors. She and her little sister, Hattie have been spending time on the tricycle, with lots of sisterly teamwork used to make the tricycle go. The girls seem to be very good at teamwork, and Hattie is proving to be a power player in their sisterly operations…and between the two of them, there is always something going on. In fact, their mom tells me that about the only thing the girls aren’t into is, you guessed it…sleeping.
Reagan recently started pre-school, which will undoubtedly bring about a big change in her. There is no way to go from being a toddler at home with the family, to being a student, without the whole process changing you forever. A toddler quickly transitions into a child. They have seen a whole new world out there that goes beyond their own little corner of it. Suddenly, they discover that there are many children in the world. New playmates await them. Reagan has so much fun ahead of her, and I’m very excited for her. There is so much to learn. Her school career is just starting, and she will learn so much as she goes along. Reagan is such a smart little girl and I know that she will do well as a student. She loves learning new things. I think most kids do.
Back at home, Reagan is the big sister and mommy’s helper once again. Though she loves school, and the many new things she is learning there, she misses her family too. Reagan and her sister, Hattie are best 
friends. That’s how it is with sisters. Sure, you may fight, but in the end there is no one that means more to a kid, other than their parents, of course. Reagan has so many things to show her little sister. Some of the greatest life lessons are taught by siblings, whether they know it or not. Reagan will play an active role in the person her sister, Hattie becomes. And Hattie will play an active role in the person her sister, Reagan becomes. The girls will be forever friends, because that is the awesomeness of having a sister. That is something I can attest to, coming from a family of sisters. They will grow in to a team as the years go by…Team Parmely!! I think we will see a lot of good things come from this team in the future. Today is Reagan’s 3rd birthday. Happy birthday Reagan!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
My niece, Ashley Eighmy Parmely, who is married to my nephew, Eric Parmely loves being a mom. I think she wanted kids more than anything else…except maybe being married to Eric. Ashley has always been a sweet girl, who fit well into our family, but Ashley had a greater calling…motherhood. Of course, it is a calling many women have, and yet each is unique in who they are as a mom. Ashley is very hands on as a mom. She wants to be there to show her daughters the amazing things her world has to offer. Eric and Ashley bought a house out in the country so they could raise their children around her parents miniature horses, as well as the other farm animals she could acquire access to.
Ashley loves animals. She is working right now to help her female goat have babies. I’m not sure what the problem is, but she has been giving her little female goat daily hormone shots to make her more fertile. Ashley finds motherhood for anyone to be a wonderful, special time. If she can help her little goat female to become a mom, then she is quite happy, and apparently her young goat agrees, because she seems to love Ashley very much, or maybe she understands that Ashley is trying to help her.
Ashley has always had a heart of gold. I think she really likes helping her animals to be the best they can be. I suppose that she feels the same way abut her kids. She loves spending time with her 
kids, teaching them how to recognize the animals and to enjoy the great outdoors. Recently Eric and Ashley took their girls to a corn maze in the area. The whole family had a great time. Since hiking and being outdoors is a big part of what they love, walking through a corn maze fit right into their idea of fun. I’m sure that for their girls, wandering around in the corn fields was a lot of fun. And of course, dressing the corn fields up with pumpkins was the topper for sure. For Ashley, anything that centers around her family is exactly where she wants to be. Her husband, kids, and animals are the exact niche she feels the most comfortable in. When she is around them, she is in her happy place. Today is Ashley’s birthday. Happy birthday Ashley!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
