Caryn
There is an old saying by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow that goes like this. “Into each life a little rain must fall.” There is no way for each and every day of our lives to be filled with happiness. Things in life are always changing, and sometimes those changes make us unhappy. Things like parents divorcing, a loved one dying or moving far away, job losses, fights with friends, etc, can cause a wide range of emotions, not the lease of which is sadness and anger. So, how do we deal with these emotions in a positive way? We can’t stop sadness or anger from happening. They are a part of life. Then there is the problem of negative feelings multiplying in us when we think on them too much.
One possible solution to this problem goes along with one of my favorite Bible verses which I believe is best said in the Message version of the Bible. “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” Philippians 4:8-9. God’s most excellent harmonies is just where I want to be. So if we think about the things mentioned in these verses, then we are basically thinking of the good things and not the bad, so…something to smile about. I like that idea.
Now, I have never been a person who liked being told to “Smile!!!” It always annoyed me because I wasn’t sad or mad, just not smiling, but maybe I was having a negative effect on others. Also something to think about. So, I am going to start looking around me and thinking on good things so that I will have something to smile about, and I believe I will feel better because of it.
There is so much negativity in our world today. Our children rage over everything. The internet is filled kids and adults cussing each other out on the pages of Facebook, My Space, Twitter and more. The fights are very public and very ugly. And after the original post, come all the comments, some in full cuss mode agreement, while others chew out the person who said such awful stuff in the first place, and then those who try to console the poor abused one. Now, don’t misunderstand me, I know that the life of a teenager and very often adults, can be hard, but is the internet the proper place to vent our anger, and the reality of it is that anger and bitterness just breeds more anger and bitterness.
When we decide to have a “pity party” the goal is to get a lot of people into it and thereby make ourselves feel better, because we know that so many people care about us, but it’s funny how after the party is over, we just go back to feeling bad and because we haven’t tried to be happy in life, we can easily end up being a bitter, hateful, lonely person.
Being angry and raging at the culprit doesn’t succeed in making us feel better, no matter how much we would like it too. When we are angry, we sit an brood over the problem, and continue to get angrier and angrier. And yet we continue to think that getting it all out will somehow help. All we are doing is planting a seed of bitterness by raging in the first place, and watering that seed by brooding over the problem.
We all make mistakes, and quite possibly if we try to be understanding of other people’s shortcomings, they would return the favor. Happiness is contagious, as is kindness, understanding, forgiveness and patience. We should all pass it on.
Have you ever wished you could go back and change the mistakes of the past? We all have, of course, but we can’t. Even if we go to the person and ask forgiveness, it doesn’t change the past. People can’t forget what you did, or who you were, even if you change into someone wonderful…nor can you. You will always have to live with the mistakes of your past. You can never go back and change the things you regret. That moment is gone forever, and we are left with one thing…regret.
When we were needed, did we help out? When we had the chance to show mercy, did we? When we had the chance to lift someone up and give them a better day, did we? When we had the chance to forgive, did we? There are so many opportunities to do the right thing, but so often we are so self absorbed that we can’t see anything but what we want. We think, “Let someone else do it. I’m busy.” The problem with being self absorbed is that all to often when the person is gone, we are left with…regret.
All around us people are saying you should be able to say or do whatever you want. It’s a free country, right? And the reality is that they are right…it is a free country, but there are consequences for your actions, good or bad. So someone made you mad. You feel slighted. And now, you are going to get even, right? Be careful because “getting even” has it’s price and it is called…regret.
Why is it so important that we get even with other people? Why is it always someone elses job to be there when needed? Why…because we have become a people whose only priority is self. We think, “I’m busy. I am important. I have things to do. I refuse to put up with that. I can say whatever I want to. I can do whatever I want to.” And the list goes on. The reality is that, while we can do all of the above, all too often these actions will ultimately leave us with one thing…regret.
So the next time you feel like being selfish and want to say or do something that you might regret, remember that you will have many opportunities to say or do the mean thing you are thinking about, but only one chance to stop the cycle of…regret.
My husband and I were on our evening walk at our local mall, and dodging the other shoppers is simply the norm. I understand that people are busy with their own shopping, and probably don’t even see us walking, but it got me thinking about the kind of witness people would make. The people we run into, and sometimes I almost mean that literally, coming out of the stores as we walk by, often look at us, but see right through us. They walk right out in front of us and we have to slow down or work our way around them. They seldom notice that they cut us off at all.
So, if the need were ever to arise for them to need to be able to recount what they saw is a situation, could they? Or would they have to say that they don’t remember anything? In an abduction, shooting, robbery, etc, the witnesses are the best chance of solving the crime…provided they saw something. I have to think that probably 95% of the people we see in the mall couldn’t recall the facts of a crime committed right in front of them at the mall. They just didn’t see it.
I also started thinking about how observant these people would be in regard to their own protection. We are told not to just walk along unaware of your surroundings, because that is how people can sneak up on you. Unfortunately, in this day and age, people can’t afford not to be observant.
Yes, it is important to me to have you see me coming when you walk out of a store at the mall, but there may be others who really hope you saw something that went on while you were there. You never know when what you saw will be a matter of life and death.
I was having trouble coming up with something to blog about tonight, and then my husband and I went to the show. We saw The Green Hornet 3D. It was a great experience. You have to pay extra for the glasses, but it is well worth it.
Now, I’m sure many of you have seen movies in 3D before, but we had not, so this was a very different experience for us. We had been told that it felt like things jumped right out at you, but you don’t really understand exactly what that means until you see it. I am a huge fan of action movies, so I have probably seen then all, and I can honestly say that all of them would be enhanced by 3D. When there was a car wreck, you felt like it was right there, close enough to touch. When the semi-truck was coming right at them, you felt like you just got hit. And things that came out at the edge of the screen, felt like you just ran into them. It was so cool!!
I consider myself a bit of a techy, so the new technology in movies is always very interesting to me. I think this one of the most awesome advances, and if you haven’t experienced it, I would highly recommend it.
There comes a point in every Winter, when I begin to feel the promise of the coming Spring. Now, you might say, “Well sure, we all do.” For me, however, it is for a different reason than most that I long for Spring. I have SAD, which is Seasonal Affective Disorder, and while this is not a fatal or even really a debilitating disorder, its effects on me are very real. During the Winter months as the days get shorter, the fact that we get up when it is dark and get off work when it is dark, makes me feel very tired. Then, one day in January, I step outside the door after work, and it just occurs to me that I’m not leaving work in the dark, or even almost dark. It is like a weight is lifted off of me.
I have a fairly mild form of SAD. Some people can hardly function during the darker months. For me it is just a matter of feeling tired and well, dragged out, but no matter how badly a person is affected, it makes the winter dark months difficult to say the very least. Then add to it the Wyoming Winter wind and cold, and I start feeling antsy, on top of feeling fatigued.
There are some things that have helped people who suffer from SAD. Light therapy is a good solution. The best lighting is full spectrim light bulbs, because it mimicks actual sunlight. A lot of people who live in Alaska can have a severe form of SAD, and light therapy was tested on those people with good results. I have tried light therapy and it has helped, but it is difficult to spend enough time in proper lighting when you work. So I wait and look forward to the day in January that brings with it the promise of the coming Spring. Knowing that soon I will feel better again.
My Dad’s older brother turns 89 years old today, January 21st. Uncle Bill has always been my favorite uncle on my dad’s side. We didn’t get to see him as much as I would have liked, but when he brought his family down to visit from Superior, Wisconsin, or whenever we went up there to visit, it was always very special.
I just read another story about a grade school child being suspended after he formed his hands in the shape of a gun and pretended to shoot at a wall. Have we gone crazy? We have suspended these little kids for kissing a classmate because it might be sexual harassment…really, does a 5 year old know how to do that? They can’t play cops and robbers, or cowboys, or pretend they are hunting, because it shows violent tendencies…again…really? It seems to me that we have gone to the point of craziness over these issues in the schools.
Now don’t get me wrong, I want our schools to be safe, and I don’ want our kids being sexually harassed, but I really doubt if our kindergartners are the best suspects. And I don’t think rapists usually get their start in grade school. In fact, I think the way we are reacting to our little kids kissing in grade school just leads to a very unhealthy understanding of relationships between the sexes. If we make it dirty, how will they ever know what is right and wrong. Here they are, just coming out of the home setting, where they kiss mommy and daddy goodnight and to them that shows you like someone, and so it is natural to kiss a cute little girl…who by the way, wasn’t the one screaming about it, and some teacher or principal acts like little Johnny just committed a felony.
Again, I want our schools to be safe, but I really don’t think most grade schoolers are deliberately setting out to shoot up our schools. Nor are they looking to rape the little girl across the aisle.
I read a tweet made by someone I follow on Twitter today, and started to consider the reasons we are judgemental. “When you judge others you don’t define them, you define yourself.” author unknown.
This quote started me thinking about why people judge others. We have all been guilty of it. Sometimes, I suppose it is because we are insecure in our own skin, so we judge others to make ourselves feel better. I often wonder if this is really where bullying comes from. I don’t think bullies just hate everybody for no reason, but rather because they don’t much like themselves. They bully because it makes them feel like they are bigger or stronger than others. And the “targets” they choose are always smaller and weaker than they are, so they are judging these people to be of inferior strength, and therefore in a position to make the bully feel better about themselves.
Another reason we judge, is because we have a preconceived idea of what people should be in order to fit the mold we are trying to place them in. This may or may not be intentional. In our jobs, we sometimes judge people to see if they fit a mold for a product we are trying to sell them. Other times we look at someone who is, say waiting on us in a restaurant, and cringe because they look different than we think a waiter or waitress should. Maybe we are right in these judgements and maybe not, but are we too quick to judge.
I know there are times when we need to judge others, if only for our own safety, but when we choose to allow our judgement of other people to define who we are in a negative way, we begin to see others only from the negative perspective of humanity that we carry inside of us. If we assume that all people who look or act differently than we do, are bad…then what does that make us?
Many people had yesterday off to celebrate Martin Luther King Day. As I was relaxing at home, I thought about the differences in people. We are all very different, and most of us would agree that being different is a good thing, but sometimes those differences can be very annoying, to say the least. When people don’t share your core values, and each one feels that they are right or justified, arguments can ensue. Both parties can feel very strongly about their beliefs. So what is the solution?
Well, there probably isn’t a solution that will be accepted by both parties, and I think we have to accept that. Sometimes we must agree to disagree, but along with tolerence, I believe we must have equal respect for the feelings of others. We all say things not knowing that they are hurtful to others, but I think that when we know they are hurtful, we should make our best effort not to say or do those things around that person. Does this violate free speech? I don’t think so. I think it only adds compassion to free speech. Choosing not to say or do something in the presence of certain people so they are not offended. Is that really so very hard? It can’t be made a law, except our own personal law, but it can be so easily practiced. I don’t mean to say that we all need to tip toe around, just be somewhat aware. And on the other side of that coin, just because someone says something that offends you, doesn’t mean it was aimed at you. A cute little saying in the movie “Miss Congeniality II” has always stuck in my head. It goes like this, “Everything is not about you!” How very true that is. In this “me, me, me” world, I think we have forgotten that little fact.
