pictures
When I look at my granddaughter, I see a beautiful girl, who is bubbly and very cool. She has changed through the years, but she has always been beautiful. Many people have told me that she looks like me, and maybe she does, but she is far prettier than I am. Still, I see some things about her that do look like me. Sometimes, you have to look back on things to really see them. Recently Shai took a picture of her and me, and pointed out that we have the same eyes. I hadn’t seen that before. They aren’t exactly the same, but they are close…except when she smiles, her eyes take a little upward turn on the outsides, that is so pretty.
I had been told that my daughter Amy, Shai’s mom looks a lot like me and looking back on her pictures, I can see that too. Amy looks very much like me in the face, but with her blond hair, it is a little harder to see, for some reason. I had thought that my daughter, Corrie looked like me, but in reality, she looks much like my mother-in-law, and the only reason I thought she looked like me was her hair color. Perhaps, that is why I thought people saw similarities between Shai and me. Shai’s hair is brown like mine, and our coloring is the same, so looking at the pictures, it’s easier to see the similarities. Still, I did not see them until, I looked at the picture Shai took. Then, as with Amy, I could see that we do look a lot alike.
When you have kids, and even with your grandkids, you always want them to look a little bit like you. I guess it is just human nature…the desire to reproduce another person who looks a lot like you. Maybe it is a way of connecting with our children and grandchildren forever. Or maybe I have had this on my mind because I have been researching our family tree. In doing so, I have seen many faces. Some that look like people I know, and some 
who don’t. The similarities can be in sisters, brothers, parents, grandparents, children, aunts, uncles, and even cousins. It is quite interesting to see. So often, it takes someone who never knew the people involved to really pick out those similarities.
Still, sometimes when I look back on those old pictures, I am very surprised. I was going through my old pictures from when my grandchildren were real little, I found this one of Shai and me when she was just a little girl. It is one of my favorite pictures of the two of us, but as I looked at it, it occurred to me that Shai has a smile like mine…just like mine, in fact. I find that simply amazing.
Old pictures can bring back memories of great times that you don’t want to forget. In my Dad’s letters home from World War II, he asked for pictures of his favorite spots and people so that he could keep them stored in his memory. As a young soldier, he was lonely for both family and home. He wanted to see the places they used to go, like Manitou Falls…a place that I have looked up online, and I can say that I can fully understand why Dad would like it. Not just because it is a very pretty place, but because it is a trip down Memory Lane. It’s a place we all need to go sometimes.
When I look at the pictures I have taken while 
Bob and I are out hiking, I can relate to my dad’s desire for pictures of those places he loved so much. When you look at them, you can feel yourself going back in time to that place again. Reliving the moments. The times of our lives. I love being out on the trail, listening to the birds and far away from the traffic and other annoying sounds of the city. The trail is a place of peace for me, in an otherwise stressful world.
Some of my favorite childhood memories involved our annual vacations. Mom and Dad took us so many places. We camped out, sleeping under the stars…no tent needed. We sat around the campfire for hours before finally deciding that we couldn’t stay awake any longer…mostly because we all hated to have the evening around the fire 
end. We woke to the birds chirping and usually a fire going, because Dad was up and had it going…the smell of coffee brewing and bacon frying filled the morning air…mingled with the smell of burning wood on the fire. Those are the memories that mean summer to me.
We all have special memories that remind us of the times of our lives, and they are a varied as we are, but each memory is precious and the pictures we take are a way to keep them close. I know that was what my dad was looking for when he asked for pictures from home so long ago as he was stationed in England in World War II. He couldn’t go home right then, but he could let his mind re-live the times of his life.
In our family, as in lots of others I’m sure, when Christmas rolls around and the kids are all excited about presents, the chance to open a present early is a big deal. My sisters and I were no different. We wanted to open a present on Christmas Eve every year, and since my parents were just about as excited as we were, we always go to. There was, however, an ulterior motive for opening one gift early. You see there would be pictures taken on Christmas morning…and it was going to happen before anyone got dressed for the day, so the logical Christmas Eve gift was, of course…pajamas.
Every year we knew what was in the package before we opened it, but we were excited nevertheless. It was always so great getting new pajamas…that soft, new feeling. And even though we knew what the gift was, we didn’t know what they would look like. They might have been a night gown, or a top and pants, Baby-doll pajamas, or T-Shirt pajamas, it didn’t really matter. They were new and we always loved them.
When my girls came along, Bob and I continued the tradition. They always loved their new pajamas, and sometimes they were really special, because their grandma made them for the girls and their cousins. Really, what could be more cozy than being all snuggley and warm in a pair of flannel pajamas in front of a crackling fire on a cold winter night. Those were special days. The presents were all wrapped and the kids waited…impatiently for morning to arrive. The very air was filled with electricity.
It was always so hard to wait for Christmas morning to arrive, and even today I find it difficult. Watching my kids, and now my grandkids opening the gifts that I have searched high and low for, is so gratifying. And when you have found the totally awesome gift the anticipation makes it even harder to wait. So here we are…Christmas eve has arrived, and while I don’t give pajamas anymore, there will be a gift opened tonight, because it is tradition, and with each tradition comes the memories it creates, past, present, and future. Who knew way back then what those Christmas pajamas would start.
From the time they were little babies, my grandchildren have had Christmas pictures taken together every year. Those photo sessions were often not fun to say the very least. One or more of the kids always seemed to want nothing to do with one or more of the others. The instant the photo session started, so did the fighting and the inevitable headache. You could call it sibling rivalry or cousin rivalry, but whatever you want to call it, it was the pits. Well, last weekend was that time again, and we all expected the same old thing.
For many years, my granddaughter was certain that she would never love her brother. I kept trying to tell her that eventually she would like her brother and even have fun hanging out with him. Still she was certain that there was no way that would ever happen. Now, just a few short years later, they are friends, and I’m so happy to see it. I love watching them playing together. Really, it’s like they are saying, “Here we are, who once were enemies, and who now are friends.” That look that warms a grandmother’s heart. Watching them share a laugh and goof off together…well, it was awesome.
Christopher and Josh didn’t fight in the same way that Shai and Caalab, but I suppose that is just because they were both boys, and two brothers fight differently than brother and sister do. Still, I remember a number of times when Kevin had to get after his boys for fighting too. Each one felt like he needed to take matters into his own hands if his brother got out of line. Now that Chris is working, Josh is starting to miss his brother quite a bit. He is thinking about the fun they have had through the years.
One of the biggest rivalries, however has been between the two youngest boys, Caalab and Josh. They seemed always to be fighting each other for some reason or another. They fought over who got to hang with Christopher. They fought over who was the boss. They fought over toys, games, friends…they probably would have fought over the air if they had thought about it. Now, even that is changing. They get along so much better.
After the traditional Christmas pictures were done, we turned the kids loose to go 
outside and create a little different Christmas picture, and I have to say that it is those pictures that have been a big surprise. The kids played and laughed, threw snowballs, tossed each other into the snow, chased each other…but they didn’t fight. They who once were enemies, and they who now are friends. My grandchildren, who have made a transition…that first real step into adulthood. I was amazed, pleased, and definitely in awe of the change.
I’ve often wondered why the latest thing to do is take pictures of the shocked look. Everywhere you look online, there are pictures of mock surprise…and they can be really funny. Everyone is going for some variation of that look to see if they can get people to laugh. I remember back when the only pictures of a shocked look were actually real, such as my niece Liz at Christmas when she was a little girl. From the picture you can see that she was very surprised to see what gift she got for Christmas. And you knew it was a real reaction. Maybe it wasn’t the huge surprised look that you see today, but it was much more realistic.
But these days it’s all about the shock factor…and it can be pretty funny. There is the surprised look, the stunned look, the almost tearful surprise, the grinning surprise…and the list goes on. So, why do we take these pictures, which are usually the long arm specials, by the way? I think it is to see what kind of reactions we can get. Or maybe we just like to take pictures of ourselves with different expressions because we are curious as to how we would look. People today…me included…seem to have an obsession with the self portrait, and we totally enjoy every possible variation of it.
Of course, the real goal is to see how many people laugh at your silliness. I always get a kick out of the shocked look pictures, because every one seems to be more outrageous than the last. And people don’t seem to mind having these pictures out there on Facebook for everyone to see, and maybe more importantly to laugh about. And really, when you think about it, who doesn’t need a good laugh…anytime. So much in this world is serious, negative, and stressful, so why not post a picture meant to simply make us laugh, and put us in a great mood. Every time I look at one of these staged shock factor pictures, I can’t help but laugh, and then, go on with my day in a little better mood. And really, isn’t that what it’s all about.
When Christopher and Shai were born, just one day apart, many people thought they were twins…at least those who didn’t know they were cousins. I suppose part of the problem is that they were together much of the time, and people just see two car seats in the back seat, with two babies about the same age, an immediately assume that they are twins. Amy’s mother-in-law thought they were both so cute together, that she bought them a matching set of boy and girl outfits, and asked that we take some pictures with them in the outfits. We made arrangements to have the pictures taken, and did our best to take the picture she wanted. However…the best laid plans do not always produce the best results.
Christopher was always quick to smile, but Shai was a little more…jumpy in those early years. We tried over and over to get both of the kids to smile at the same time, but as is normal with kids, that just didn’t happen. The kids were about six months old, and as we all know, it can be tough to get two 6 month old babies to be happy at the same time. Still, we persevered and took whatever possible shots we could. I can’t say that the picture taking process was a very successful endeavor, but the end result was better than we thought it would be.
The best picture we could get is the one you see, and while Shai is being fussy, the picture has a charm all its own. We have always wondered what the problem was, and many have speculated about it. But, I think by far the cutest one was the idea that Christopher is smiling in that mischievous way because he just pinched Shai, which would also explain her face. I’m sure that at 6 months of age, any pinching that might have happened would be entirely by accident, but the look on their faces is just so classic, that we couldn’t help but think it could have happened just that way…or maybe Shai was just having a bad day. We will never really know what the problem was, but the picture is so precious, no matter what was going on.
Have you ever noticed that in really old photographs, the people never smiled? I have often wondered why that is. I mean, I know that there were certain remote tribes of people who were deathly afraid of having their picture taken, because they thought that it stole your spirit. I really don’t think anyone thought that in the 1800’s when these old pictures were taken, so why is it that no one smiles…and some people actually look mad. Even the kids didn’t smile…not one! How do you get that many people to scowl all at the same time?
I know that life was hard in the old west, but it couldn’t have been that hard, or everyone would have packed it in and moved back to the east. The work was harder, so maybe everyone was just tired, still if you make yourself, just about anyone can paste on a smile for a few minutes, especially when you did know in advance that you were going to have your picture taken. I don’t know, it has just always amazed me that people would pay good money to have their picture taken, and then scowl in it, so it looks more like it was a photo for a wanted poster.
But, after giving this question a lot of thought, I think I have finally come up with the answer. I believe that these families like most families these days spent several hours arguing with their darling little ones, and by the time it was their turn, everyone was in such a fowl mood that no one felt like smiling. Wow!! Now if that is the reason, then it sounds just like group pictures of today. I can’t tell you how many times we have tried to 
get all the kids or grandkids to smile at the same time, much less to stop fighting long enough to avoid putting everybody in a terrible mood. So, who’s to say that those families didn’t have the same problem. Ok, maybe not.
We may never know exactly why all the pictures taken of families in the 1800’s were taken with a straight face or even a scowl, but what we do know is that by the early 1900’s, people realized that the best pictures are taken when the subjects smile, and look like they enjoy life and want to remember this great day. When history looks back on your pictures, what will it see? Why not a smile?
Every year since they were born, we have taken Christmas pictures of my grandchildren together. Everyone loves to get those new pictures to compare with a year ago. Kids change so fast. Some years have been a trial, some years feel almost impossible. My grandchildren are all very different people, and they have very different personalities.
That was not totally the problem in the really early years. When you are dealing with infants, they are either asleep or crying. So you work with them and work with them until it is finally right, and after this photo session, you head home to put the baby down for a nap, and take one yourself, because…you have earned it.
As they get older, it’s the fighting that stalls the whole process. This one doesn’t want to sit next to that one, or this one wants to be in the back, not the front, or someone is touching someone else. Oh my gosh, the tragedy of it all. Heaven forbid, having to be somewhere in the picture that you didn’t want to, and if you let them choose, they all want the same place. And all you can think of is next year they will be one year older and it will work better.
Then next year comes around, and you have a whole new set of issues. Makeup is horrible, or is it the hair, they hate what they are wearing, or the inevitable as they become teenagers…they are too tired. So you try letting them pick a few of the poses to break the ice a bit. Sometimes even that doesn’t work well, but sometimes it does, and you end up with a very funny pose, or set of poses.
Ultimately, no matter what the age, with a little persuasion, such as the promise of candy afterward or…maybe bodily harm if they don’t behave, you get a few good poses, and the pictures turn out quite well. And of course, when the pictures are given out, and only the best ones are given out, by the way, everyone just loves them. They all think, “How did you pull that off? Getting them all to smile at the same time.” And of course, you just smile and let them think what they want. You know it was a lot of work, but…it was so worth it. Once again, it is time to start thinking about those pictures…no wonder I have a headache!!
When you look back on the lives of your babies, whether it’s your children or grandchildren, you see that there is an age at which you wish time would stop. They are at that perfect point between the sweetness of a baby, and the fun age of a child. You look at their little face and you see all the promise of the future, and yet you want to hold on tightly to the present. It is a mix of who they are, and who they will be, and you want to know who they will be, but yet you hate to lose who they are.
I could hardly wait to become a grandmother. I was ready for those babies to come, and every moment that I was blessed to spend with them, I have cherished…will always cherish, but when I look back at some of those pictures, each one has that one picture that holds such sweetness that it just melts your heart. Those are the ones that I just wish I could stop time for. My grandchildren are precious to me every day, and I love each one of them with all my heart, but there are moments and ages that will always live in my heart as being so special. That moment you wish would never end. Of course, you would miss out on the next special moment, if that one never ended, so you really don’t want that, and you are thankful that there is a picture to mark such a wonderful memory.
I have found that there are so many such moments that when you think about it maybe you wouldn’t want to stop time after all. That moment when your teenaged child or grandchild comes up to you for no reason and just gives you a hug and tells you they love you…or posts that they love you on Facebook. It sometimes surprises you so much to think that they don’t care if their friends see it, because it is simply how they feel. Does life get any better than that…ever?
I find myself very thankful for my memory, so I can store all of those sweet moments in it, for review later on…especially during a bad day. Those memories can change any bad 
day into a good one, just 
by looking into that sweet little face. I guess that is really my reason for having children and grandchildren. There is no greater blessing than to have a sweet little person who loves you so much, just because you are Mommy or Grandma. It doesn’t mean you are perfect, or even all that important to the rest of the world, but to that child, you are important, and you are great, and at least for a moment in time, you are their whole world…and they are yours…them and that sweet little face.
New Years Eve around our house always meant a party, because my mom’s birthday is January 1st. The party always included a dance in the kitchen, which we empty of all the furniture for the occasion. One of the highlights of the evening was when Mom and Dad would share a dance. It is one of the moments that I will always remember, as will my mom, I’m sure. It wasn’t New Years Eve until they had their dance. Their dance had the same importance on the evening as the bride and groom’s dance at a wedding, and the same feel. It almost brought a tear to your eyes, especially in those last two years, when we weren’t sure Dad and Mom would be able to have their dance.
New Years Eve was not, however, the only time when my mom and dad danced. I remember many times when Dad would come home from work, still in work clothes and the would share a dance in that same kitchen. It was one of their ways of expressing their deep and abiding love for each other, and one of the ways we, their children could enjoy the fact that our parents were and always would be in love.
That is what life can be compared to also…a dance. We don’t know the twists and turns life will take until we live them. We don’t know the hurts and loss we might have to endure. Every life has its sorrows, as well as its joys. In a life where the joy outweighs the sorrow, you find a very blessed person or persons. That is the kind of life my parents lived. Their dance was one of joy and happiness, and very little sorrow or loss was added to it.
When I look back at all the pictures of trips we took, and places we got to go, our family’s dance was a great waltz, if you will, with a lot of country swing and a little bit of rock and roll mixed in. My cousin Bill commented on my dad’s life after his passing. He said, “Wow, he really lived!!” How true that is. My dad always made sure the dance of our life was a wonderful dance set to a beautiful song. Whether we were traveling, or just spending time in the back yard around a picnic table, or working together, he tried to add fun to every part of our lives. And the dancing continued until that last New Years Eve party, when we were blessed one last time with my parents special dance…the last dance.
