mom
My in-laws, Walt and Joann Schulenberg had a long and happy marriage. They were married 64 years before my father-in-law’s May 5, 2013, passing. My mother-in-law lived another 5 years, passing on January 4, 2018. I always felt blessed by my in-laws, who welcomed me into their family readily and happily. Immediately I felt like I was more their daughter than just a daughter-in-law, and I always felt very blessed to have this particular set of in-laws. There are people who dislike their in-laws, I was never one of those people.
My in-laws knew each other all their lives, because their parents were friends. Their mothers especially were best friends and often spent time together. That meant the kids had many playdates before they ever thought of having actual dates. By the time Joann was born, Vina and Nettie were friends. In fact, that is how Walt and Joann “famously” slept…well napped…together when he was two and she was an infant. I think that story is sweet, but my mother-in-law was always more than a little bit embarrassed, whenever the subject came up. The fact is, that early on, my mother-in-law wasn’t sure she liked my father-in-law. I have thought about that over the years and come to the conclusion that he probably had a crush on her long before he let her know. If it was at a younger age…well, we all know how clumsy boys can be when expressing their love for a girl. She probably thought he was just being annoying. My father-in-law always was a teaser, so it makes sense that he was then too.
Nevertheless, once they got together, the rest was history. They loved each other totally and completely. They raised six children together, with Dad as the breadwinner, and Mom as the keeper of the home. Mom made their clothes, canned vegetables and was a great cook and baker. Dad kept the place and the vehicles in good shape. Times weren’t always easy, but they always had love. Dad worked very hard, and often long hours, to take good care of his family. They were a great match, and they were very happy. Today they both live in Heaven, and I know they are still celebrating their lives together. Happy anniversary in Heaven, Mom and Dad Schulenberg. We love you, and we miss you very much.
Once your mom and mother-in-law move to Heaven, Mother’s Day takes on a different kind of feel. This year, in addition to my mom, Collene Spencer and my mother-in-law, Joann Schulenberg being in Heaven, my sister, Alena Stevens, who was also mom to Michelle Miller, Garrett Stevens, and Lacey Killinger, has gone home to Heaven too. Mother’s Day is supposed to be a day to celebrate Moms, but when our moms live in Heaven, it can feel quite empty. Of course, it isn’t really empty, because I am a mom too, as are my sisters and sisters-in-law, daughters, granddaughters-in-law, and my nieces. So to all of those and to those in Heaven, I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day.
Being a mom is such a blessing, and I can’t express my honor enough at being given my two beautiful daughters, Corrie Petersen and Amy Royce. They have always been such great blessing to me. Their kindness and love have made me feel so happy over the years. While I can’t always be with them on this and some other special days, I always know that I am in their thoughts and prayers each day. I love that we talk, either on the phone or by text every day. To know that I am on their minds is such a sweet thought. And I hope that they always know that they are in my thoughts and prayers every day too. They have each given me two wonderful grandchildren and so the blessings grow each and every day. My two granddaughters-in-law, Karen Petersen and Athena Petersen have each blessed me with three great grandchildren, and I love each of them dearly. As my family grows, so grows the depth of the blessing I have been given. God has been, and continues to be, so very good to me. Life is good, and it will only get better and better.
Some people consider days like Mother’s Day and others to be nothing more than a commercial holiday, designed to sell greeting cards, but I could never agree with that. Mother’s Day like so many other designated holidays, is a very special day, when our thoughts turn to our moms and all the blessings they have poured out on us. Of course, I wish I could see them on those special days, but it is not to be, so I will just rejoice in the blessing they have and always will be to me. Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms and especially to mine!! I love you so much.
May Day…always a fun day in my childhood memories. My mom, Collene Spencer loved May Day. She would gather construction paper, glue, little silk flowers, and color crayons together, so her girls, Cheryl Masterson, Caryn Schulenberg (me), Caryl Reed, Alena Stevens, and Allyn Hadlock could make May baskets to take to the neighbors. We crafted our creations and filled them with candy. Then we would sneak to the neighbors’ houses hang the basket on the door, knock, run, and hide. Their part was to try to find us, so they could thank us for the treats. It was a Spencer ritual, the beginning of “summer” sort of, but definitely stepping into May. This year, Mom, Dad, and our sister, Alena can make May baskets in Heaven together. I can only imagine the treats those Heavenly May Baskets will contain. Or maybe they don’t do that in Heaven. I think they might though, because my mom would love it.
May Day is a European festival of ancient origins marking the beginning of summer, usually celebrated on May 1st. I think that by May 1st, people are so over the snow and cold of Winter, that we are ready for a fun celebration of warmer weather. Sadly, most people don’t do anything for May Day anymore, and I think that is rather sad. I can’t say that I am any better, because I generally don’t do anything about it either. Nevertheless, I do remember, fondly, the days of my childhood and the May baskets our mom helped her girls to make. The best-known modern May Day traditions, observed both in Europe and North America, include dancing around the maypole and crowning the Queen of May. Unfortunately, fading in popularity since the late 20th century is the tradition of giving of “May baskets,” the small baskets of sweets or flowers, usually left anonymously on neighbors’ doorsteps.
In rural regions of Germany, especially the Harz Mountains, Walpurgisnacht celebrations are traditionally held on the night before May Day, including bonfires and the wrapping of a Maibaum (maypole). Young people use this opportunity to party, while the day itself is used by many families to get some fresh air. May Day’s Motto in Germany is “Tanz in den Mai” (“Dance into May”). I like that idea, and might do it, if I thought I was a good dancer.
However you celebrate or don’t celebrate May Day, the first day of May is officially May Day, and Summer is upon us. For me that is a happy event, and a day I look forward to each year. I would love to see the May basket tradition come back, because I think our new generations would have a lot of fun with it, and maybe spreading a little love and cheer would soften our increasingly hate-filled world.
My aunt, Deloris “Dee” Johnson, was a fearless woman. I don’t mean that she was always getting in dangerous situations, but then again, she had stood up against all 5 feet (in her tall days) of her mom, Hattie Byer. That may not sound like much, but my grandmother was not a woman to be messed with. Once when grandma and her family of a husband, George Byer and their nine children were washing the dishes after dinner…something that was a big undertaking with that many kids, the children were all arguing. Siblings have a tendency to do that, and these kids were no exception. The noise level in the kitchen grew louder and louder, until Grandma could stand it no longer. Grandma yelled over the roar, “Alright, that is enough!! I don’t want to hear another peep out of you kids!!” When Grandma put an end to an argument, her kids knew that was the end of it, but my Aunt Dee, just couldn’t resist taking just one more chance. So, as all the children stood there working quietly, Aunt Dee assessed the situation and made a decision. Over the silence in the room, came a quiet little voice saying, “Peep.” The other children stood there with their mouths collectively touching the floor, thinking…”She is a dead girl!!” You just didn’t cross their mom…not is you wanted to live!! The kids waited to see just how bad the punishment would be, but Grandma, try as she might, couldn’t help herself. She burst out laughing!! Of course, everyone else started laughing too, and the argument was over. It was such a simple little tension breaker, and it had been executed perfectly. I sure wish I could have been there to witness that one.
While Aunt Dee could be feisty, she was also very loyal to those she loved. In fact, that is likely one reason she might lash out at someone. She did not like things that were unfair, whether it was friend, foe, or family. She wasn’t a bully, but she was a person who wouldn’t take any “guff” from anyone. In fact, that was really advise that my grandpa, George Byer gave to all his kids. He was Aunt Dee’s dad, and he always gave sound advice. So, Aunt Dee acted when she saw unfairness, even to the point of telling someone to get out and stay out. And they knew to listen, because while she was normally gentle, Aunt Dee meant business when it came down to seeing justice being served in a situation.
While Aunt Dee was willing to take chances and refused to take any guff, the reality is that she was an all-around sweetheart. There really wasn’t a mean bone in her body. She had a sweet, gentle smile that warmed your heart. I always loved when she would come to our house for a visit. It was always a blessing to see her. Maybe that was because my mom, Collene Spencer didn’t get on her bad side, or that the two of them were really a lot alike. I rather think that was it. Aunt Dee and my mom were more than sisters…they were really good friends. They enjoyed each other’s company, and they always made each other laugh. The had very a very similar sense of humor…the goofier the better. I saw a lot of each of them in the other. My aunt was a person of many talents, moods (mostly very good ones), and ways, and we loved all of them. Today would have been Aunt Dee’s 94th birthday. Happy birthday in Heaven, Aunt Dee. We love and miss you very much.
My mother-in-law, Joann Schulenberg was a hard-working woman most of her life. It wasn’t necessarily that she did hard physical labor, but she always had busy hands. Having a garden vegetable garden all her life, she spent the harvest seasons canning vegetables to provide food for her family. She also canned meat whenever they raised a cow or purchased a side of beef. When she wasn’t canning, she was baking. Her house always had cake, cinnamon rolls, cookies, or some other such goodies for the snacking pleasure of her family. If you didn’t get your “sugar fix” you had only yourself to blame. Of course, that wasn’t always a good thing, because it was easy to overindulge on those fattening treats. Nevertheless, they were delicious, and always homemade. She was one to begin making dinner right after lunch, or sometimes even before. She was an excellent cook, and if you were a “meat and potatoes” kind of person, you were sure to get your fill.
When she wasn’t canning, baking, or cooking, my mother-in-law kept busy sewing, knitting, or crocheting. She made a living sewing clothing for a number of people, including my uncle, Jack McDaniels’ mom, for whom she sewed for a number of years. I only knew about that connection when I announced my engagement to my husband, Bob Schulenberg. My mother-in-law crocheted many afghans, that she sold at craft fairs and then received numerous orders for more. Those craft fairs left her with months of jobs and many referrals. One of
my favorite items that my mother-in-law made was the “sweaters” she knitted. I use the word sweater lightly, because the ones she made were of a heavy yarn and equipped with a zipper, making them a coat. We all had one, and trust me, you didn’t need a coat.
Even after my mother-in-law developed Alzheimer’s Disease, she didn’t slow down. Yes, there were some things that went by the wayside. Things like finding store-bought cookies in the house, and less jar canned food, meaning that there were more store-bought canned foods in the house. She just couldn’t do those things so much anymore. We missed those things, but there was no help for it. Nevertheless, her crocheting remained. She had long been able to crochet “in her sleep” and never miss a stitch. That always amazed me, but when she had to be moved to a nursing home, because she required 24-hour care, she still crocheted. Of course, she didn’t use yarn at this stage, but she knew that her hands should be busy, so she would simply “crochet” with her oxygen tubing. The staff had no idea what she was doing, but after all those years, I knew what she was doing. When she would forget to hang on to her walker, because she was “fiddling” with her oxygen tubing, the concerned staff would panic, because they couldn’t get her to hang on. Upon seeing it in action, I simply asked her if I could hold her crocheting while she walked, all she said to me was, “Don’t lose a stitch!!” Once I “held her crocheting,” she would take hold of her walker, and proceed down the hallway…to the utter amazement of the staff. Of course, eventually the use of the walker went by the wayside, because she just couldn’t grasp the use of it anymore. That was sad, but she was perfectly content in her recliner wheelchair, because she never liked walking anyway. While her legs were no longer in use, her hands remained busy until the day she passed away. Today would have been my mother-in-law’s 94th birthday. Happy birthday in Heaven, Mom. We love and miss you very much.
As our tenth year without our mom, Collene Spencer approaches, and in fact, it’s ten years without parents, I think my sisters, Cheryl Masterson, Caryl Reed, Alena Stevens, Allyn Hadlock, and I have been thinking a lot about her. Time doesn’t seem to go by so fast, until it is passing without a loved one. Then you just wonder, how could it be ten years already? And yet it is. Ten years without Mom’s goofiness, her laughter, her zest for life, and mostly…her presence, just seems impossible. I think that is what I miss the most…her presence. Just knowing that I could call her to ask a question, or to tell her about her new little great great grandchildren. Mom loved being a grandmother. She loved being a mom too. Her home and her family were her pride and joy. I know that while she is in Heaven, she still knows and sees how much her family has grown, and I know that she is so happy and so proud. I think we have all tried to live lives that would make our parents proud. From the oldest to the newest great great grandbaby, Mom would be so proud.
Mom met our dad, Al Spencer, when she was just a girl. Mom knew immediately that he was the one for hr. She remembered thinking, “What a handsome man!!” They married when she was still 17 years old. They immediately moved to Superior, Wisconsin and began a family. Ten months later my sister, Cheryl was born. I followed two years later. My sister, Caryl was born three years after I was. My sister, Alena followed two years later, and my sister, Allyn two years after that. Of course, we moved back to Casper before Caryl was born and have lived here since that time. Wyoming was where Mom’s family was, as well as part of Dad’s family, so moving here was logical. They loved Wyoming, and they thrived here.
My mom was a great Christian woman. While she loved her family, and especially our dad, her first love was for her God. She accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior many years ago, and she never looked back. She told anyone who would listen, just how important it was to receive Jesus. Through her, countless numbers of people were saved. My sisters and I never really felt as comfortable as Mom with witnessing to people. And in our teen
years, we often wished she wouldn’t witness when we were around. We were embarrassed, but she wasn’t. She knew that her work was important, and she was right. I know that when she entered Heaven, our Father told her, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant. We are so proud of her and hope to live up to her example. Today is the tenth anniversary of Mom’s graduation to Heaven. Mom, we love and miss you and Dad very much and can’t wait to see you when we all get there.
My uncle, Wayne Byer was an amazing skater. He actually started skating “for profit” at seven years old, when he worked at the skating rink. I’m not sure how that worked exactly, with child labor laws, but likely it wasn’t considered a real job, and he was “paid” in free skate time. As he got older, he became an excellent skater, even perfecting the trick of skating so low to the ground, that he could light a match for his cigarette by scraping it on the floor with his teeth. I don’t know how long he worked there, that just the story I was told.
Uncle Wayne was always a trickster, and he loved to pick on the girls. They never really minded it too much. Uncle Wayne was pretty popular with the ladies. One of the things he used to do was to hide in the trees along the route he knew the girls had to walk, so he could scare them. That can be a little disconcerting, of course, because you don’t know if he is there or not. Nevertheless, with his winning smile, they always forgave him.
Another of Uncle Wayne’s escapades was known a “Hooky Bobbing” and involved holding onto a moving vehicle, such as a car or truck, while it is driving on snow or ice. The person doing this gets a free but dangerous ride, often without the motorist’s knowledge. While I’ve seen this, in movies or videos, I think I would be too scared…or maybe the word is wise, to do such a thing. Still, boys being boys, this type of activity was attempted or made a habit of, at least by the gutsy ones. Uncle Wayne was just gutsy and mischievous enough to be one of those boys.
Uncle Wayne was the younger of my grandparents, George and Hattie Byer’s two sons, and his older brother, Larry was the shorter of the two. I don’t know if that really bothered Uncle Larry or not, but at the very least, he pretended that it did. When we had professional family portraits done years ago and the family Christmas party, the nine siblings were lined up in order of birth with Grandma and Grandpa. When you looked at the picture, you saw the mischievous smiles on Uncle Larry and Uncle Wayne’s faces. My mom, Collene Spencer had the dubious honor of standing in the middle of the boys, due to her place of birth. One might think that they were picking on Mom, but the reality was that Uncle Larry had found a small ledge behind them, and was standing up on it so he could look as tall as Uncle Wayne. They both knew what he was doing, and they were both laughing about it. I’m surprised they could keep from laughing outright. They were a couple of characters for sure. Today is my Uncle Wayne’s 87th birthday. Happy birthday Uncle Wayne!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
Over the years I have been called many names by my grandchildren. Names like grandma, gma, granny, graham cracker, gram, and one of the most common…the shortest name, G. So, it really stands to reason that some of my great grandchildren should call me GG. And it is a name I love because it’s endearing, but also because it reminds me of the original GG…my mom, Collene Spencer.
Mom got her cute little moniker from my grandniece, Aleesia Spethman. They were best pals, and Aleesia loved her GG. Whenever she came over to the house, she would call out, “GG!!” It was as much to call for her GG, as it was to announce that she had arrived to see GG. She spent as much time on GG’s lap when they were together, as she did on anyone else’s lap. They were best friends, and they loved spending time together. Mom always loved being a grandmother and considered it one of life’s greatest blessings. She was a great mom, and always kept our life light and happy, even if she had to act a little bit crazy to make us laugh. Being a mom was all she ever wanted to do, but being a grandmother topped being a mom…mostly because she considered grandchildren as the blessing that came from motherhood. So great grandma, was an even bigger blessing, because it was the blessing that came from the blessing that was motherhood and grandmotherhood. It doesn’t get any better than that.
Mom loved being GG. It made her feel special. Before my mom, I never heard anyone called GG, which of course stands for great grandma. I’m not sure how Aleesia came to call her that, but she called her GG from the time she could talk. I have always loved that Mom was called GG, and I consider it an honor to be called the same thing. She was the original GG, and it is quite a title to live up to. I don’t know if I will ever be as great a GG as she was, but I will gladly spend the rest of my life trying to be. Today would have been my mom’s 89th birthday. Happy birthday Mom in Heaven, Mom. Have a great Heavenly birthday party. We love and miss you very much, and we can’t wait until we meet again.
We’ve all been there, or at least most of us. You know, the last-minute rush to get everything ready for the Christmas celebration. I suppose that is why so many people say that Christmas has become too commercialized, and maybe it has, but we love our families, and we want to do nice things for them. Still, while the actual moment of giving the gift is wonderful and exciting, the process leading up to the actual giving is a very different thing. There is shopping for people (sorry my family) who have no idea what they want and can’t think of a single idea, which leaves you wandering the store for hours trying to find that perfect gift.
Have you ever found yourself on Christmas morning, wrapping a gift and running it out to the waiting kids to open, and going back for another round…well, I did that once. I know…insane. That only happened once thankfully, but the story has lived on for decades, hahaha!! Well, maybe you weren’t that bad, but how about wrapping gifts at midnight on Christmas Eve, or the night before. You finally finished wrapping at about 2 or 3 in the morning, and then because you have little kids, tried to function the next day. I’m sure that sounds more familiar to a lot of people…admit it.
Then, there is Christmas morning, and the massive rush to get dinner made. Yes, you try put everything together before everyone passes out from starvation, but it is a big production. The kids are everywhere, and the noise level is deafening, but while you would maybe like things a little quieter, you wouldn’t change having the whole family there, for anything. It’s worth every bit of the chaos, the stress, and the frustration, when you see the looks of sheer happiness and excitement on the faces of those kids.
The good news is that it’s almost here. Soon, Christmas will be behind us for another year, and then we can look forward to starting it all over again. We all set ourselves a goal of doing better next year, and sometimes we achieve that goal, but often as not, we find ourselves right back in the same spot next year. Nevertheless, this is the final push…better get to it.
When you lose a parent, it seems like time stops; and for them, I guess it does…at least on the earth, but in reality…and for the rest of us, time marches on. Of course, that means that very quickly we find ourselves wondering how it could possibly be that…in my case, my dad, Allen Spencer has been in Heaven for 17 years. My dad was the first of my parents, and of my husband’s parents to move to Heaven, so for me, it was like going into the unknown. To make matters worse, I was somehow under the impression that my dad would be around for the rest of my life. Yes, I know how that sounds, but the mind thinks its own thoughts, we don’t plan the thoughts the pop into our heads.
My sisters, Cheryl Masterson, Caryl Reed, Alena Stevens, and Allyn Hadlock, were blessed with amazing parents. They raised us in a loving Christian home. We were blessed with parents who taught is how to become respectable members of society, and also loving members of a family. When Dad went to Heaven, he knew that we would take care of Mom…and we did. It was not just a sense of duty to them both, but of love and respect for them both. I think it is the hope of all of our family members, now including grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great great grandchildren; that we have grown into people that would make our parents proud. They left us a legacy of love and caring, that we want to pass on to our own children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
Dad’s legacy included so much more. He had served in the Army Air Forces, in World War II, stationed at Great Ashfield, Suffolk, England with the 8th Air Force 385th Bomber Group. He served with honor and dignity, and we have always been proud his service. He was a valued member of his crew, serving as the top turret gunner and flight engineer, and he saved his plane and crew from crashing when he hung out of the open bomb bay doors to manually lower the stuck landing gear as the ground rushed toward them. He was a hardworking man, working two or more jobs, if necessary, to support his family. That taught us a strong work ethic and a strong sense of giving, that we continue to carry with us today.
While 17 years have passed since our dad went to Heaven, we still want to do everything we can to continue to make his proud of the daughters he and Mom raised. We are all prayer warriors, and we pray over an ever-growing list of prayer requests from family and friends, which I think would have made our parents the proudest of the children they raised. We miss our parents so much and thinking about them on this the 17th anniversary of my dad’s homegoing, still makes us sad, but we know that we will see them again, when we are all reunited in Heaven. We love and miss you dad and mom, and we can’t wait to see you again one day.