Kids
My niece, Andrea Beach has always looked so much like her mom, my sister, Caryl Reed. It was a definite mini me situation. It always strikes me as odd how a set of parents can manage to so closely reproduce themselves in their children. My own daughter, Amy looks a lot like me, but not to the extent that Andrea looks like Caryl. As she has grown, of course, Andrea has taken on more of her own characteristics, and probably looks the least like Caryl that she has at any time in her life. And I guess that is simply the way it goes. We grow up to become our own person, and that applies to our looks as well. I think that even our life experiences can affect our looks, and I don’t mean with gray hair or wrinkles, although I suppose that is possible too. Nevertheless, things like being outdoors a lot, or hairstyle can make us look different than the parent we once look so much like.
Andrea has always loved to cook, and thought about going to culinary school at one point, but that changed when she became the mom of her son, Topher. Now, that is not a bad thing either, because Topher is a great kid, and truly the most important person in Andrea’s life. As our life changes, our priorities change, and for Andrea, there is no greater priority than Topher. They love to goof off together, and especially like taking selfies of all their antics. Of course, you can’t spend your whole life taking selfies, so they also take the time to do homework and play a good game of Tic-Tac-Toe once in a while.
Having Topher has not decreased Andrea’s love of cooking, however. She may not have gone to culinary school, but her skills have not gone unnoticed at her current job at Diamond Lil’s, which is the restaurant at the Day’s Inn in Rawlins, where Andrea lives and works. She has been there just over a year now, and became the lead cook six months ago. Her cooking is famous in the Rawlins area, and people all over town rave about it. Sometimes, you can’t follow your dream in the way you originally planned to do so, but if you don’t give up, you will find that where there is a will, there is a way. I am often amazed that while our plans didn’t materialize in exactly the same way that we had planned, they can still materialize for us if we keep on keeping on. Today is Andrea’s birthday. I think I need to come to Rawlins to try the food at Diamond Lil’s and Andrea, their fabulous lead cook. Happy birthday Andrea!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
When my Uncle Larry and Aunt Jeanette Byer moved to New Orleans, Louisiana after taking a job transfer, I have to imagine that it was pretty hard on my grandmother, Hattie Byer, Uncle Larry’s mom. Grandma, like most mothers, liked having her children close, and to have one move almost 1600 miles away, has a bit of a sting to it. I can relate to how Grandma must have felt, since I now have a daughter who lives 1200 miles away. I always knew I wouldn’t love having my kids leave, but you can’t really grasp just how it feels until it happens to you. Nevertheless, people have told me that you get used to it, that you have a new place to vacation, and that you simply make arrangements to see them. I’ve also been told that they try to come home as often as they can, and you hope that is the way it works out, but you
never know, until you see for yourself, if it all really works out that exact way.
This was where Grandma Byer found herself when Uncle Larry and Aunt Jeanette moved to New Orleans for several years before his eventual retirement from Texaco. Everyone could see that this was the best move to make, but that didn’t make it easier. For Grandma, the move broadened her horizons, as it turned out. Grandma did go to see Uncle Larry and Aunt Jeanette, just as she had come to see our family when we lived in Superior, Wisconsin. In some ways, I have to wonder if…somewhere in the back of her mind, she liked having someone in her family living in Louisiana…because it would mean that she could go there for visits, and have someone who could really show her the sights, instead of trying to figure out what was good to see, and what wasn’t or what was boring. New Orleans is such a big place, with so much to see, and if you don’t know where all the cool sights are, you will miss something. I think that for Grandma, there would also be the being alone factor, that would not be very appealing, so going to visit her son and his wife, and see the sights must have been a great thrill for her.
Grandma never liked going to bed until all her kids were home, so having one of them so far away had to have been very hard. I’m certain it was hard on Uncle Larry and Aunt Jeanette too, because they had to leave their children and their family behind as well. Nevertheless, it was just for a short time and then they returned to Casper. We were all glad to have them back here. Sadly, Uncle Larry passed away on December 22, 2011. We will always miss he jokes, his smile, and his wonderful laugh. Today would have been Uncle Larry’s 81st birthday. Happy birthday in Heaven Uncle Larry. We love and miss you very much.
Going through our parent’s kitchen was, for me, one of the more interesting parts of going through their house. Mom has had a salt and pepper shaker collection since her childhood, and while we have only scratched the surface of that collection, we have started to draw for them. As we have done so, I have noticed the differences in our personal tastes. We might set out five different sets of salt and pepper shakers, and we would almost always choose a different one for each. For me, a set that Grandma Byer brought back from Ireland for Mom had always caught my eye. They were castles with shamrocks on them, and so typically Ireland. They always seemed so special. Mom’s salt and pepper shakers were a part of who she was.
For some reason, many people are collectors. The collections vary as much as the people who collect them. I know that there are people who don’t collect things, and I suppose their houses are not as cluttered as those of us who do collect things, but somehow I think that maybe they miss out of something that comes with collecting. When you have a collection, you find yourself picking out things of varying styles, as your personal styles change. That is the interesting thing about collecting. Your choices never stay similar. Even with my own collection…spoons, I was able to find interesting styles that were different than any others I had.
And if you think men can’t be collectors, you would be wrong. My dad loved his coffee cups, and Mom even liked the coffee cups, so much so in fact, that before long they had matching sets of cups. There were the Spencer cups, the Al cups, and cups from the many places they had visited over the years. They even had a tiny cup with a mouse and cheese on it. I guess everyone needed a cup…no matter who they were.
I don’t know how Dad came to have his collection, but as I said, Mom’s started as a child and her feelings about salt and pepper shakers never changed after that. They would always hold an interest for Mom. As we have looked through the salt and pepper shakers we have come across, we can all see out mother, and we can understand why she found each one that she chose, and each one that was given to her special in its own way. I suppose Mom was more of a collector than Dad was, but as I said, I don’t think anyone is really immune to collecting.
One of the hardest things a parent has to face, is having their child move away. Whether it is to college or a permanent move, it is a tearing time for the parents, who had hoped this day would never come. Parents don’t have children so they can move away, but nevertheless, that is what happens sometimes. Whether it is a job transfer, college, or a move of choice, it is really hard on both parents and children. Since I have never moved away as a child, I can’t speak to the feelings of homesickness that come from living so far from the only home I have ever known. I suppose it could be much the same as the parents are feeling about their child leaving. You want them to be happy, and yet you had always hoped that their happiness would be found in the same city that you live in, and not in a city that is 1200 miles away from you. That is just so far away, that it seems unbearable.
As the parent, in this situation, I think it might be just a bit unique. For the last six and a half years, I have had the great pleasure of working side by side with my daughter, Amy Royce. Friday was her last day, since she is moving to Washington state today. I think the hardest part of her leaving work for good, is seeing her empty chair. Her office is out front, and will continue to be used to do things like make payments and such, until we hire someone to take her place, but it’s really hard for me to go in there, because when I do, I am once again faced with that empty chair…not to mention the task of telling every client that Amy no longer works there. It almost feels like rubbing it in.
It has also been our tradition to go to breakfast with Amy every other week on Saturday, trading off with going to breakfast with our older daughter, Corrie Petersen. As we were having a special breakfast Sunday morning, which included both of them, so that we could all enjoy one more time together, it occurred to me that in the future, we would again be looking at an empty chair…the one Amy used to occupy every other week at breakfast. It is just another reminder of the drastic change that has taken place in our family.
Then, came church. I am used to having Amy sitting on my right and Corrie on my left, but Sunday morning brought yet another empty chair, as Amy and her family spent the morning packing the moving truck they have rented. Amy also sang with me as part of the backup singers for the music ministry, and that felt a little bit lonely too…even though I didn’t stand right next to her. I still knew that she was there, and now I know that she isn’t there anymore.
I know that I will get used to having my daughter and her family living so far away. It will just take time. I know it will be hard for them too, but I think they will have a bit of an advantage over me, and those of us left behind, including their daughter, Shai, who decided to stay in Casper, because they will not be picturing us in places around their world. It will not be normal to have us there at their work, at the restaurants they go too, or the church they attend. They will have a normal that doesn’t include us. We will have to create a new normal that does not include them. Yes, I will get used to having them gone too. I just think it would be easier for me, were it not for that empty chair.
When I think of who my son-in-law, Travis Royce is, I really have to say that he is an idea man. He is always coming up with new ideas whether it be for his work, his life, or simply his day. He is quick witted, and quite funny, which is I’m sure a big part of what attracted Amy to him in the first place. It is just a part of his charm. I think many people wish they could be as quick to have a comeback, or a joke as Travis is, but few of us have that ability.
Travis has always wanted to live somewhere besides Casper, and now he and Amy are getting ready to start their new adventure, by moving to the Seattle, Washington area. For him, there could be no better birthday present. Moving to Washington is not a totally surprising choice. He went to school in the Puyallup area as a child, and Amy has always loved visiting Washington too. Travis’ parents, Valerie and Gene Fatur lived in Washington for a time during his high school years too, but Travis was living with his Uncle Marty Hansen then and going to high school here in Casper, at Natrona County High School. Nevertheless, his heart was always set on anywhere, but Casper…mostly because of the wind and cold. I’m not sure I would trade those for rain, but Amy would. I just wonder if Travis will now trade the Chicago Bears for the Seattle Seahawks. No…I suppose not.
Travis has spent much of his married life working in radio, as a DJ and production manager, but he thinks it’s time for a career change too. He isn’t sure what he wants to be when he grows up, but he and his son, my grandson, Caalab Royce are looking into taking classes to learn to build guitars. They are thinking about starting a business building guitars and maybe later, other musical instruments. I’m sure that they will have much success with an occupation like that, because there is always a demand for guitars, and the styles are ever changing, so those who use them always need to look into buying new ones now and then. Also, more and more, people who buy guitars want to personalize them. There are as many personalizations as there are people too, so the possibilities are endless. I don’t know if that will be a fulltime career for Travis, or simply a hobby. Only time will tell on that, I guess. The main thing is that he is happy with what he does.
While I will miss my kids greatly, I wish for them the very best of everything. I know that this new adventure will be exciting and interesting. I love the Seattle area too. There is much to see and do. The rain forest is beautiful, but I’m not sure I would like all the rain that goes with it. Nevertheless, I know they will have fun with it. Today is Travis’ birthday. Happy birthday Travis!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
When men get home from the service, or come home on leave, they are usually is really good shape…and as most of us know, boys will be boys, and men will be men…meaning when issued a challenge, each wants to prove that they are better, stronger, or more capable of something than the other. Such was the case with my dad, Allen Spencer and my uncle, George Hushman. The two of them were at my grandparents, George and Hattie Byer’s house, and somehow the challenge was made to see who could do the most pushups. Dad and Uncle George were good friends, and this was to be a friendly challenge between two future brothers-in-law. Nevertheless, it was going to be a challenge.
The two men laid down on the floor. It had been decided that two men in military condition would not find it much of a challenge to do a bunch of pushups. No, there had to be a way to make this a real challenge. In the end they seated the two kids who were the closest in size, Aunt Dixie and Aunt Sandy, on their backs in order to do the pushups. That was not the only challenge they faced, either. These pushups had to be done in a specific and rather hard way. As the men pushed down, the girls weight was a challenge, and as they came up, the fact that they had to very quickly clap their hands together mid-pushup, and without losing the girl on their back made it even harder.
As Aunt Sandy told me the story, I could tell that the whole thing had left quite an impression on her. Being the youngest child, she thought of the brothers-in-law as brothers all her life, and these two taking such a challenge, must have made her think that they were very strong…and maybe they were. I also think that the girls had to have been fairly small, but then I couldn’t even attempt push ups in the way they did them that day. I suppose it is possible that they found additional strength in trying to impress their girls, my mom and Aunt Evelyn. Either way, I think it was a challenge.
Aunt Sandy didn’t say who won the challenge, and maybe she doesn’t even recall after all these years. I don’t think that the winner was as impressive as the challenge itself. I suppose that they could have called it a draw in the end too. Either, way, Aunt Sandy will never forget the day that she and her sister Dixie became part of a military push up challenge. Of course, it might have been something that was talked about for months or even years after. It was after all and challenge, and deserving of attention, and Aunt Sandy was a little girl who was impressed with her future brothers-in-law.
Sometimes, there is such a clear family resemblance that even years after the children are grown, people who knew one of them can tell that another one is a sister. That happened to me when a church camp friend of my sisters, Caryl Reed, Alena Stevens, and Allyn Hadlock, saw me in the mall and asked me if I was their sister. I did not know this man, but he knew them and knew that I bore a definite resemblance to them. I don’t know exactly how often that happens, but my guess is that it maybe happens more than we are aware of. I think many times, people don’t say anything about it. Maybe they are not sure the person is who they think they are, or maybe they aren’t sure the person will remember them. That is sad really, because you never know when you might just make someone’s day, because you remembered them.
My family has been blessed with some beautiful people. From aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, nieces and nephews, as well as grandchildren, they are handsome, and beautiful inside and out. I think that is part of what makes them someone people remember. This was pointed out to my Aunt Sandy Pattan a while back, when she was at Kmart. They were having a Blue Light Special, and she was waiting in line while her things were marked down. Two ladies on the other side of the Blue Light were talking, and obviously looking at my Aunt Sandy. She started to become a little nervous, wondering what was wrong with the way she looked. We always think the worst, don’t we? Once the ladies had finished getting their things marked, they came over to Aunt Sandy, and one of them asked, “Are you one of the Byer girls?” Aunt Sandy said that she was, and the woman said to her friend, “See!! I told you so!!” Aunt Sandy was as surprised as I had been with my encounter, but I think she was right when she said that it isn’t just a person’s looks that makes them memorable, but rather who they are inside. Like my own parents, my grandparents had taught their children to be kind, generous, and thoughtful, and these traits are always remembered, and they make you remember their face too, even if it has changed some over the years.
Sometimes, you can see a person who may or may not be related to someone you liked, but looks like them anyway. Whether you ever find out if that person is a relative or not, you still have that nice memory of that person you knew. Of course, family resemblances are always there, but are not always remembered, unless the person stood out in some way. The memory goes a long way if the person was nice to you at some point. Really, who would want to remember someone who was mean, although I suppose that happens too, but I would much rather remember those people who were kind and thoughtful…wouldn’t you?
We all have memories of home…the home of our childhood. Most of those memories are as sweet as they can be. Memories of laughing and playing with our siblings, or special dinners with the family…always bring back the warm coziness of those carefree childhood days, when your dad and mom were there, taking care of you, and you knew you were safe, because their love surrounded you and every part of your world. As a kid, I experienced a closeness with my family. Dinners were eaten together, and we talked about our day. It was our way to reconnect with each other after a busy day at school or work. But, while we had a close family life that was far different from many families of today, it was nothing like the evenings that my mother and her siblings spent at their home, and in many ways, I feel like it was I, or rather our generation, who missed out. We may have had things like movies and television, but the closeness they had, and the stimulation of their imaginations…well, our world just couldn’t really compare to theirs at all.
The hours after school at my grandmother’s home involved getting dinner ready for the family, eating dinner, washing the dishes, with everyone singing while they worked. Finally, the work is done, and the evening turns cooler. Grandma and Grandpa, George and Hattie Byer would sit together on the couch covered with a blanket. All the children would get a blanket of their own, and sit around the floor and their parents feet. Everyone was cozy and warm. Then, Grandma Byer would read to the family. It was like the movies of today, except that the screen was in your mind. It was a nightly tradition, and since there was only a certain amount of time to read, a book could take weeks to read. The family never seemed to mind that, however, because the result of stopping for the night was a curiosity about where the book was headed and what would happen the next day. Every night was much the same, with the children listening intently to their mother’s voice telling them the story of cowboys and Indians, or sailing ships from far off places.
As my Aunt Sandy Pattan, who is my grandparents’ youngest child, told me about this nightly tradition from her childhood, I could hear in her voice that the thought of it was taking her back to a time when all was warm and cozy in her life. I could picture just how much fun it must have been to sit there at Grandma Byer’s feet listening to her voice reading the story, and creating a picture in your mind that was almost like being right there, in the story. It was such a pleasant story, that I began to wish that it had been a tradition in my own life, or that I had thought to start such a tradition in my own family. The mind is such an amazing part of a person, and to think that it could create a movie like story from the reading of a book, is really amazing. I think that the cozy scene I pictured in my head from just hearing Aunt Sandy tell of it, probably paled next to the reality of just how amazing a tradition it really was to listen to her mother read while sitting at her Momma’s feet.
Every child is unique, and even brothers have differences in their personalities that are very obvious to all who know them. My grand nephew, Zack Spethman is the middle of my niece, Jenny and her husband, Steve Spethman’s sons. If you ask Jenny about Zack, she will tell you that Zack is her huggy boy. He is the one, who as a baby liked to cuddle and was quick to give kisses and hugs. Some kids are busy playing and don’t really want to be held. They have things to do and see. Other children are more sensitive and show their feelings to others easily. It seems like for boys feelings are a complicated area…especially as they get older. Some of them don’t want to be seen hugging their parents, because it seems to them to be very little boyish, but there are some boys who just don’t care what people think. They simply love those who they love, and they don’t care if others see it. They become the boys after their mother’s, grandmother’s and even aunt’s hearts. They don’t realize how sweet their nature is. They just are who they are. That’s the kind of boy Zack is.
Zack is a very thoughtful young man, always making sure that his little sister, Aleesia has what she needs, and yet, he can roughhouse with his brothers Xander and Isaac with no problems. He loves sports, and hardly ever just sits around. From bicycles, to skateboards, to snowmobiles, and just running around with his brothers, Zack is a full of energy kind of kid. He and his brothers and sister are always on the go.
Zack’s very life has been a miracle from the day of his birth, when complications during labor could very easily have ended his life, but his parents were praying people, and everything fell into place to rush his birth before his mother even knew there was a problem. The doctor told Jenny later that of the three prolapsed cord births he had done, Zack was the only one who survived, demonstrating the power of prayer, and God’s grace and protection for those who pray and have faith in God. That moment was the only one, however, when Zack has had any problems in his life, and he has since made up for any of that, by living a life full of happiness, health, and energy. Zack is a wonderful by who is turning ten years old today. Happy 10th birthday Zack!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
It seems like just yesterday that our little Leap Day girl, Shai Royce was born, but it was really nineteen years and two months ago. Of course, you expect your kids and grandkids to grow up, but when they do, it still seems like the whole thing sneaked up on you…like you somehow didn’t really think it was going to happen. Then comes the time when they move out for the first time, and into an apartment of their own. Somehow it feels like Shai is about four years old, and living on her own…oh, wait, she sort of is. Being a Leap Day Baby is a unique situation, in that she only really gets a birthday every four years…making her oficially 4¾ years old. No wonder it seems like she is too young to be living on her own. Not only should she be a little girl, but officially she is a little girl. I’m not crazy., even though it might sound crazy. And to top it off, you know that no matter how grown up she, and my other grandchildren get, they will always be grandbabies to me, and I will always picture them in part, just like when they were little babies.
I think Shai’s apartment is going to be beautiful. She is a girl with very good taste, and a wonderful sense of style. She has some very nice things, and a good head on her shoulders, so, she will start to get things set up as time goes on. I don’t think a first timer to apartment living has everything they need to get started, but she seems to be doing better that most of them. She is organized and I know she will have everything in ship shape in no time.
I think the thing that I find the most interesting about Shai’s new apartment, is that in all reality it is the second time her first apartment is been in this particular apartment complex. I know that sounds odd, but when Shai was born, her parents lived in the same apartment complex, and so when she came home, it was to almost the same place. Of course, technically that apartment belonged to her parents, and this one belongs to Shai, but it is in a way, kind of like coming home for her. I don’t know how often something like that happens, but for her, that is exactly what happened.
I know that Shai has mixed feelings about making such a big move, especially since the rest of her family is moving to the Seattle, Washington area, but she will have her grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousins, and other extended family members living here too, so she will get used to it. And of course, she has lots of friends as well, and I’m sure that she will be entertaining people before very long, so before she knows it this will feel like home to her. Congratulations Shai, on your first home. I know that you will be very happy there. Just don’t forget to visit your grandma and grandpa.