Family
Ah, the Super Bowl. The day when even non-football-fans and those who watch just the occassional game, gather together with the die hard fans, pick a team to support, even if it isn’t the one they would normally go for, stuff their faces with Thanksgiving Day sized feasts made up of mostly snacks, and scream like they know what is going on. Those who really don’t want to watch the game, come to the party anyway, for the food and socializing with the other people who really don’t want to watch the game, and laugh every time a “fight” breaks out over a play.
I used to be in the non-football-fan category, but my Dad always liked the Broncos and my husband and I love to go to Denver, so we became the die hard Bronco fans, that like to kind of know how their team is doing, and watch an occasional game, especially if they have a chance at going to the Super Bowl. But, when it comes to the Super Bowl, it doesn’t matter who is playing, we are watching. That all started one year when the Broncos went to the Super Bowl. I believe it was 1987. And we have not missed a Super Bowl since. We get on the game boards, hoping for a win, which has eluded us so far, but we are, never the less, hopeful for this year. We yell and scream at the refs, and of course when our team get a touchdown, you might not want to be too close, or plugging your ears would also be good, because we will be screaming.
Yes, the Super Bowl brings friends and football enemies together to fight it out for the championship. It is a very unique day in our year…or maybe, just the mid-Winter, un-holiday party opportunity!! And since my team isn’t playing, my daughter loves the Packers, and my grandson loves the Steelers, all I can say is…”Go Broncos!!”
Since I have been thinking about old times, I thought a few of the funny things that have happened might be interesting. My sisters and I are no different than I’m sure most of you are, and when you get 5 girls together, and then the neighbor kids, and a few cousins…well, it is a recipe for either disaster, or the funniest stories ever.
One that keeps coming to my mind, is the time my cousin Forest was over at our house, and all of us kids decided to play Hide and Seek. I can’t say for sure how old I was, but I couldn’t have been more that 5 or 6. Forest, who was the same age as I was, and I couldn’t figure out where to hide. So being the “helper” she was, my sister Cheryl, who was two years older than we were, decided to help us out. In our garage was a clothes dryer. It was one of those old style dryers with a window in front. So, Cheryl said, “Here, climb in and I’ll shut the door softly so it doesn’t close all the way.” Well, as you can imagine, Forest and I, trusting as we were, climbed right in. Cheryl slammed the door and said, “I’m going to turn it on.” We started screaming, and she started laughing. It didn’t take very long to realize that since it was out in the garage…it wasn’t plugged in! My sisters and I were always trying to see if we could pull one over on each other…good one, Cheryl. I still laugh about that every time I think about it!!
My sisters and I are all very good friends now, but as children, there were…shall we say…cat fights!!! Now these weren’t the type you might think. When we got mad at each other, we literally took matters into our own hands. We scratched, bit, hit, and pulled hair. We all had long hair, so hair pulling worked very well. After a few minutes into a fight, you would find both of us holding a handful of hair, and the attached head, firmly planted against the floor. Neither of us would give up, but we didn’t mind screaming so loudly that my mother finally had to come in and put a stop to it. We must have driven her crazy!! I’m sure you have all seen your share of sibling fights, but the is nothing quite as funny as two stubborn girls holding each other’s head to the floor by the hair and refusing to let go. Again, I laugh about that every time I think about it.
And here’s one last story I wanted to tell you about, and it is perhaps the funniest one of all. My parents had gone to the Fireman’s Ball, which they don’t have anymore, but used to be a big deal. My older sister Cheryl was babysitting the rest of us, and since it was going to be late when Mom and Dad came home, we had all gone to bed. Suddenly, we heard what sounded like the livingroom picture window crashing in. Cheryl jumped out of bed and ran out into the livingroom to see what was going on. I promptly pulled the blankets over my head as a form of “self preservation” I suppose, and my sister Alena started laughing. What is so funny, you might wonder. Well, Alena’s bed had a metal frame, and stuck between the bed frame and the wall was a metal Chinese Checkers board, which Alena had kicked, causing the crashing noise we heard. Way to go Alena…but then we all know that with your sense of humor, you had probably planned it and only got the reaction you had hoped for.
Yes, growing up with four sisters, a multitude of cousins and neighborhood kids was quite an adventure, to say the least. These are just three of the many stories I could tell. We often tried to outdo each other with our pranks and antics. Sometimes I wonder how we managed to survive without being choaked by our parents.
I have been thinking lately about the passage of time. It’s so odd that when we are young, time just seems to crawl. We are so excited about the next landmark event in our lives, and like a watched pot, it feels like it will never happen. When we are in school and waiting for summer, it seems like the school year will never end. As we wait for our next birthday, it seems so far away. We can’t wait to grow up and head out on the next big adventure in life.
Then suddenly our school years are over, and we can’t help but feel like we missed something, somehow. Remember when it seemed like forever? When did that change? But, that thought is short lived and quickly pushed out of our mind as we excitedly go into the next phase of life. We are adults now. We can make our own choices, and we don’t have to answer to anyone…or do we? We have a boss, who we must answer to. Most of us have a spouse, who we have to at least consult about things. And then there are the laws of the land, most of which we follow without thinking about it, but never the less, they must be obeyed. Hmmm, what ever happened to that great freedom we thought we were going to have when we were all grown up?
It occurs to us that maybe we recall our parents mentioning something about such things when we were going on about how great things were going to be when we were all grown up. And then another thing our parents told us about happens. Remember them saying that time flies? Suddenly it is doing just that. It seems like Christmas was just here, and suddenly it is back. The years fly by and you can’t believe that it is the year 2011, and then 2012, and 2013…wait…slow down! Somebody put on the brakes! Everything is moving so fast! Our babies are growing up and having babies, who are growing up and having babies. Before we know it, we have become our great grandparents, and we look back and think, “Where have the years gone. It seems like only yesterday that I couldn’t wait to be…all grown up.”
Two of my grandchildren will turn 15 at the end of this month. As I reflect on how quickly the years have flown by, I think back on my own childrens’ youth. When your children are small, you think it will be forever before they drive, date, get married, and have children, much less have children of driving age. But when you look back on those years from this side of life, those years seem like it was all just last week.
I remember the day each of my daughters was born. The miracle of life placed into my arms. It was so hard to believe that they were mine. Those days that I thought would last forever, quickly melted into their grade school years, filled with room mother duties, and throat cultures, field trips and sports. Again, I was lulled into the belief that those days would last forever, but before I knew it they were in junior high and then high school. Soon came that all important birthday when they would start to learn to drive and begin dating. They had turned 15.
By this time I was beginning to realize that it was not going to be very long before the next big changes would enter our lives, because time goes by so quickly. Their school years were over in the blink of an eye, and before I knew it we were planning weddings and adjusting to being empty nesters.
Then came the days when my girls told me they were having babies. My girls, who were born eleven months apart, were both pregnant at the same time, and before I knew it, I 
became a grandmother twice in two days. Those were two beautiful days. The next two and a half years would bring two more grandchildren, and we thought we would have babies around for a long time.
But, once again, I look back on those years, now flown so quickly by, and think, “It seems like it was just last week that they were born.” Before we know it, they will be married and having babies of their own. And yes, we will again be lulled into thinking those years will last forever, but in our heart of hearts, we will know the these children too, will be so quickly grown, as the years melt away, into the future that will be theirs.
So often in today’s busy world, we find ourselves thinking, “I’m too busy to help others.” It’s true that we live in a fast paced world, and it would seem that since we are usually hurrying to get somewhere, we just couldn’t squeeze in even a moment to help someone else. That would put us even further behind schedule.
But, have you ever stopped long enough to look around at the “helpers” in your midst? I never really had, until I was a caregiver myself. There are many children out there taking care of aging parents.
I have taken my parents or my in-laws to the doctor, and there are lots other people, many about my age, in there with their parents. People who love their parents and want to give them the quality of life they are used to, but couldn’t have without help.
I ran into a friend at WalMart last weekend, and she has 3 children of her own, who keep her very busy, and yet, in the middle of all the running around she does for her kids, she finds time to go help her mother-in-law with housework and grooming, since she broke her arm in a car accident, and can’t do much by herself, and she does it with a smile and a wonderful, pleasant attitude.
My own son-in-law got a call from his brother, who had received a call from his aunt, who had been on the phone with my son-in-law’s mom, and she wasn’t making sense. My son-in-law, took time off from work to check on his mom. It turned out that his mom had experienced a stroke, and was in need of medical attention. He has since done whatever he can to assist her in her daily needs.
I often have clients who come into my office with their children or grandchildren bringing them, because they don’t drive anymore, and couldn’t make the trip without someone to help them. These are just good, kind children who show love for their parents or grandparents by helping them out with their errands.
These people didn’t plan to be caregivers at this point in their lives. We all think that when our kids are raised, those types of responsibilities will go away, and we will be free as birds, but often life throws you a curve ball, and then it is your turn to step up to the plate and show your helper’s heart.
If you find yourself in the position of caring for a loved one, think about this one thing…you still have them.
Have you ever wished you could go back and change the mistakes of the past? We all have, of course, but we can’t. Even if we go to the person and ask forgiveness, it doesn’t change the past. People can’t forget what you did, or who you were, even if you change into someone wonderful…nor can you. You will always have to live with the mistakes of your past. You can never go back and change the things you regret. That moment is gone forever, and we are left with one thing…regret.
When we were needed, did we help out? When we had the chance to show mercy, did we? When we had the chance to lift someone up and give them a better day, did we? When we had the chance to forgive, did we? There are so many opportunities to do the right thing, but so often we are so self absorbed that we can’t see anything but what we want. We think, “Let someone else do it. I’m busy.” The problem with being self absorbed is that all to often when the person is gone, we are left with…regret.
All around us people are saying you should be able to say or do whatever you want. It’s a free country, right? And the reality is that they are right…it is a free country, but there are consequences for your actions, good or bad. So someone made you mad. You feel slighted. And now, you are going to get even, right? Be careful because “getting even” has it’s price and it is called…regret.
Why is it so important that we get even with other people? Why is it always someone elses job to be there when needed? Why…because we have become a people whose only priority is self. We think, “I’m busy. I am important. I have things to do. I refuse to put up with that. I can say whatever I want to. I can do whatever I want to.” And the list goes on. The reality is that, while we can do all of the above, all too often these actions will ultimately leave us with one thing…regret.
So the next time you feel like being selfish and want to say or do something that you might regret, remember that you will have many opportunities to say or do the mean thing you are thinking about, but only one chance to stop the cycle of…regret.
My Dad’s older brother turns 89 years old today, January 21st. Uncle Bill has always been my favorite uncle on my dad’s side. We didn’t get to see him as much as I would have liked, but when he brought his family down to visit from Superior, Wisconsin, or whenever we went up there to visit, it was always very special.
My husband is bowling today, which means I get to have some me time. I love my husband very much, and those of you who have been married as long or longer than we have, 36 years, will understand that in a good marriage, there also needs to be time for yourself.
I know that in most young marriages, it just seems like you can’t get enough of each other’s company, and those of you who know us very well, also know that we spend a lot of time together, but sometimes you both need time to be in your own head. Bob and I have been married 36 wonderful years, as I mentioned before, and we are very happy together, but we are each our own person, as those of you who know us can attest. Our lives are quite busy with jobs, family, care giving for our parents, and walking. I am a devoted Christian, and I believe Bob will be. We don’t fight over our beliefs, as they are much the same, and he will always argue for the rights of Christians, when the law makers try to step on those rights. Our family is of the utmost importance in our lives. We are parents of two daughters each happily married for 17 and 15 years respectively. Our oldest daughter and her husband have given us 2 grandsons, and our youngest daughter and her husband have given us a granddaughter and a grandson. And all of our family and most of our extended family lives here. So you can see that our lives are very full.
In personal likes and dislikes, well we are different. He likes noise around him, like music and television, and mostly people, while I sometimes really crave the quiet, and that is hard to achieve when we are together, so the quiet “me moments” are a blessing for me. I am what many would call a bit of a “computer geek” and I enjoy spending quiet time on the computer (yes, my computer always has the sound muted…which I’m sure annoys my grandchildren), doing a multitude of things, from genealogy research to blogging to Facebook and Twitter, to crafts. I also love to read. These things are harder to do when the television is on and he is talking to me. So “me time” is very nice.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my husband, and we have much in common. We both love to hike and do so as often as possible. We also, bowl, but I’ll have to admit he is more dedicated to that than I am. He is a great mechanic, and I can help with that, but thankfully I don’t have to very often, because the whole greasy hands thing just doesn’t appeal to me much. We also have long talks, and since they often turn to politics, I’m thankful that we agree 100% on that subject. And we love to travel, especially when we can add a hike or two to the mix. So you can see that we enjoy each other’s company. So then why do I need me time?
Well, I think we can each bring more joy and happiness into our marriage when we take time to relax and re-group, and then when we are back together, we have more of ourselves to give to each other.
I was having a conversation with my cousin and his daughter on Facebook yesterday and my cousin told her part of that old story I’m sure everyone has heard, about how tough he had it when he went to school. You know the one about walking barefoot in the snow ten miles to school everyday…uphill both ways. It got me thinking about the funny things my Dad used to say. My Dad was always making us laugh with his goofy little sayings, and I have planned for some time to write them down so we wouldn’t forget.
Dad was always a fan of big cars, and when I chose a much smaller one, he called it a Putt Putt. He would try to convince me that it would never last long because it was small. Every time I was over, he would ask, “Well, is that Putt Putt still running?” And then act shocked when I said it was. And yes Dad, it is still running, even now.
One of Dad’s biggest delights was teasing his kids and grandkids. He used to chase us around and when caught you knew you were going to get his famous “whisker rub” because that was his threat during the chase. Now for those of you who don’t know what that is, it is when he rubs his whiskered face due to the famed 5 o’clock shadow on your face. Now you might think that we would hate that, but once you got a whisker rub, every one of us would say, do it again…do it again!!! Silly I know, but he just made it fun.
Many of the girls (and we were a family of few boys) had long hair. Dad would try to tug on our hair without having us see who did it. Of course, we always knew, and would usually “retaliate” by flicking him with our finger. Then as if in totally innocent shock, he would say, “You struck me!” I wonder why, Dad.
My Dad was not a man to cuss. His main saying for things that many people would cuss about was, “Dad burn it” and was used for many different things. Anything, in fact from something that annoyed him to something he was teasing us about. It was a phrase we grew to know well, mostly because he used it often to embellish funny things. Dad wasn’t a man to be angry often, so “dad burn it” he had to have another way to use a favorite phrase.
My Dad was a very happy person. He couldn’t see the sense in being mad all the time. Grudges simply have no useful purpose in life. I hope I can learn from his examples, to be perpetually happy too. And by the way, Dad also told us the story about walking ten miles in the snow, barefoot and uphill both ways, but he added that they used to hop a train so they didn’t have to walk…but I’m told this part was true.
My Dad passed away 3 years ago, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him and miss him terribly. So much so, that many times it is hard to speak or think of him without tears. He was like the main trunk of a tree, and we, his family the branches. While the tree can come back from the roots if the trunk is cut down, it takes a long time to do so. Yes, we have all gone on with life, just as Dad would have wanted us to do, taking care of our Mom, and hoping that we do so in such a way as to make Dad proud, but there is something missing, and a huge gaping hole in the middle of our lives that we can’t seem to fill. My Dad is irreplaceable.
Dad was a World War II veteran, and like many of those men, he rarely talked about those years, choosing instead to move on with life. He was the Top Turret Gunner and Flight Engineer on a B-17 Bomber. He was credited with shooting down 2 Japanese planes, and he saved the men on his plane when he hung upside down in the open bomb bay to hand crank the landing gear down when it was stuck and they couldn’t land. But, these were things he didn’t tell us about. My Mom would tell us later. It just wasn’t Dad’s way. To him, he just did his duty.
One of my Dad’s greatest loves, other than family, was the great outdoors. Dad wanted us to be able to see as much of our great country as possible. We have camped out in many places, and seen almost every state. There have been funny times, like making my Dad get up to put another log on the fire, because we thought there might be bears in the area, one of the joys of camping with 5 daughters, I guess. My Dad was a brave man. And of course, he had to get every moth away from us, because they might be “deadly” or something. He was so patient. He just took our craziness is stride. When I think back on those years, I can’t help but laugh at how goofy my sisters and I were. Dad just had a way of making things fun, no matter what came up.
One of Dad’s all time favorite travel destinations was the Black Hills. Because it was close to Wyoming, and there was so much to do there, we went often. I’m sure that is where my love of the Black Hills came from. He showed us many fun things to do there, and well, from there my love for it just grew. When I am in the Black Hills, I always feel like I can hear “echos” of my Dad, because there are so many wonderful memories there.
Another thing my Dad was very good at is problem solving. Whenever any of us needed help with something, Dad could always be counted on come up with a solution. He was the strength of our family, no matter what. I can still hear him saying, “This is what we are going to do.” And you just knew everything was going to be alright.
Dad, you taught us many lessons of life through the years, and you made life fun. Your words and laughter will always echo in my memory. I will miss you until the day I see you again in Heaven. Thank you Daddy for being the greatest Dad ever!! I love you so much…and Forever!!
