terrible twos
My grandnephew, Ryder Birky has had a busy year of exploration and growth. You might be thinking that means that he is a young man embarking on a new career or something, but the reality is that Ryder is a little boy of just 2 years. I know, you are thinking, “how could he have changed so much?” And when I accidentally published Ryder’s story a month early, thinking that June was July for some reason, I had written a very different story about Ryder’s life than this one will be, too. On July 4th, little Ryder’s life took an unexpected turn that will change his life and that of his family forever. As his family prepared to celebrate the Independence Day holiday, Ryder’s daddy, Riley Birky and his uncle, Tucker Schulenberg and two friends, Dylan and Landon were in a car with fireworks, when the fireworks were somehow ignited. I don’t need to tell you the ramifications of that. So, the last month of Ryder’s year was spent away from his daddy and his uncle. Thankfully, both Riley and Tucker are doing well, but they will have a long road to full recovery, and Ryder is so young that maybe he won’t know that anything has 
changed. His daddy and uncle will just be his daddy and his uncle. Ryder’s mommy, Sierah Martin has been such a strong woman, holding everything together when she could have been falling apart. Because of that the whole family is going to be ok.
I don’t want to make Ryder’s birthday story be all doom and gloom, but this is a part of his history now, and as such, must be told. In reality, much of what has happened this month will someday seem like everyday life for Ryder. We don’t know what his daddy and uncle will look like in the future, but what we do know is that they will always be Riley and Tucker, and they will always be Ryder’s (and his brother, Jace Lee’s) daddy and uncle. And they will always love them to pieces. Ryder’s daddy is a wonderful dad, and he has given his boys the very best that is in him to give. Tucker loves those boys so much, and they love him too. Ryder’s life might never be considered normal or average, but Ryder has his daddy and his uncle, and that is what really matters. Sierah Martin and Riley Birky would normally have their hands full keeping their little “terrible twos” aged child corralled, but Tucker and Jace have been a big help with that. It’s not that they make Tucker babysit the little boys, it’s that Tucker wants to. That is another reason that the current situation is very hard. I think it will also 
be another reason that Riley and Tucker will work extra hard to get well. They have a beautiful family to get back to.
While Ryder and Jace have been spending some time with grandparents while their daddy, they got to spend a little time today doing some fun things. They went to the aquarium, went for breakfast, and then got to spend time with their daddy and uncle. That was the very best part of it. Showing Riley and Tucker how much they are loved. This birthday was different. This summer will be different, but this family knows they are very blessed. That is the most important thing. Ryder’s parents are such loving people. That makes Ryder a very happy boy. Today is Ryder’s 2nd birthday. Happy birthday Ryder!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
Today is my niece Jessi’s 27th birthday, and while she is all grown up now, and a pleasure to be around, her birthday brings to mind an incident that happened when she was a very little girl. As you know, when children are little, their world pretty much revolves around the adults around them…especially before siblings begin to come on the scene. Jessi was the oldest of my sister, Allyn and her husband, Chris’ 4 children. The did not live near family at that time, and so she wasn’t even around cousins.
The terrible twos soon arrived, and while she had a brother, Ryan by that time, he was too little to cause much trouble. As you all know the terrible twos is a rough time in any parent’s life. The days are often filled with all the little no nos and hand slaps, as a child is trained on what is and is not allowed. This is not a pleasant time for anyone, and most parents find themselves looking forward to the future, while wondering why no one told them about all this before they had a second child.
Sometimes, after so much negative reinforcement, a little joking around with your child can make those difficult moments a little lighter. Allyn always had a way of joking around with her kids that was different from what most parents would do. She would call them cute little nicknames, like Squirrel, which was the endearing term she would give her daughter, Lindsay later on in life. She would also make up little songs and funny sayings to lighten the mood. One thing she always said to her little Jessi when she would try to usurp her 
authority is, “I’m the mom!!” To which Jessi would answer, “No, I’n da mom!!” As this little argument proceeded, my sister said, pointing at Jessi, “Don’t you ever say I’m the mom!!” Laughing, of course. At that point, little Jessi came right back…pointing her little finger high above her head at her mom and said, “Don’t you EBBER!!”
Well, as I’m sure you can imagine, the argument was over, as my sister dissolved into giggles and laughter. Jessi has grown into a wonderful young lady, who is always a joy, but still very much a jokester! Happy birthday Jessi!! I love you very much…but don’t you EBBER!!
