smile
For years we have been told that you can find out a lot about a person by their non-verbal communication…body language. Basically it is their physical behavior in any situation, as opposed to what they say about it. Things like facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch, and the use of space are key ways to tell if someone is lying, angry, or excited. Body language exists in both animals and humans, and anyone who has come up on a mother bear or a moose, can tell you. Believe me, I hope that none of my readers have found themselves in that situation.
I have always been told things like…when you are being interviewed, don’t cross your arms, because it makes you seem closed off, as well as, that it is a nervous habit to play with your hair, but I happen to know that things aren’t always so cut and dried. Anyone who knows me knows that if my arms are crossed over my body…I’m cold. And if I am playing with my hair, it isn’t because I’m nervous, but rather it is just something I like the feel of. Basically, I think that while body language is an effective tool. it isn’t the only way, and sometimes not even the best way to read a person. Body language isn’t a spoken language, and so must be interpreted broadly, instead of having an absolute meaning corresponding with a certain movement, which explains why my movements can be misleading.
Body language is even more difficult, in that, interpretations can vary from country to country, or culture to 
culture. Some experts aren’t even sure that body language is universal. Body language is a subset of nonverbal communication, and really complements verbal communication in social interaction. Just think of how often you find people who can’t tell a story without using their hands…and their hands aren’t even saying anything specific. They are simply a gesture designed to clarify the story. Some researchers would say that nonverbal communication accounts for the majority of information transmitted during interpersonal interactions. It helps to establish the relationship between two people and regulates interaction, but beware, because it can be ambiguous, as seen in my own crossed arms not indicating being closed off, but rather cold. Facial expression is extremely important when expressing emotions through the body. If the body is saying one thing, and the face is saying another, maybe the person has something to hide, or the story they are telling is a lie. Combinations of eyes, eyebrow, lips, nose, and cheek movements help form different moods of an individual.
Some studies show that to really interpret emotions, both facial expression and bodily language must be taken into account. Behavioral experiments have also shown that “recognition of facial expression is influenced by perceived bodily expression. This means that the brain processes the other’s facial and bodily expressions simultaneously.” Participants in these studies were accurately able to judge emotions based on facial expression. This is because the face and the body are normally seen together in their natural proportions and the emotional signals from the face and body are well integrated. Things like a lack of crinkles around the eyes would suggest a fake smile. At one point, researchers believed that making a genuine smile was nearly impossible to do on command. I hadn’t thought about that, but it makes sense. When you’re smiling joyfully, 
they crinkle. When you’re faking it, they don’t. If someone’s trying to look happy but isn’t, you won’t see wrinkles.
I find it quite interesting to study the different interpretations that have been place in body language, and I think that many of them are probably pretty close to accurate, but it’s always a good idea to keep an open mind when it comes to body language. When we are too quick to make a judgment, we can find ourselves realizing that we were completely in the wrong in our interpretation of non-verbal communication.
As my father-in-law, Walt Schulenberg’s birthday approached this year, I have found myself thinking a lot about the man who was like a second dad to me for 38 years. As with my parents, I still find it hard to believe that he is gone, and yet it has been more than four years already. There are many things I really miss about my father-in-law. One of the main ones would be his smile. Whenever we were at his house, he was always so genuinely happy to see us, and his smile made that so clear. He had a great sense of humor and loved to laugh. He was an experienced teaser, and since I come from a family of teasers, we always got along well. In his last years, I had the privilege of taking care of him, and I can honestly say that it was a privilege, and a blessing to be able to spend that time with him. We talked about family history a lot, and he helped me to fill in a lot of the holes in that side of the family. And we just talked about life and the past. Those were sweet times.
My father-in-law was always there to pitch in and lend a helping hand. He worked hard until the job was done. I always called him a workaholic, and I wasn’t kidding, nor was I wrong. He instilled that same work ethic in his children, all of whom are hard workers too. His philosophy was that you should work hard until the job was done, and done right. He believed that if a job was worth doing, it was worth doing right. He took that work ethic with him to the various job he did over the years, and each one was very sorry to see him move on.
He worked hard, but the really important thing in his life was his family. They were his top priority. He loved every baby, grandbaby, and great grandbaby with all his heart. He made toys for them, played games with them, and let them “help” with the jobs he was working on at home, teaching them the ropes as they went 
along. Every one of the kids and grandkids had a chance to help Grandpa with his work, and they all loved to be able to do so. He never made them feel like they were in the way. Of course, they most enjoyed playing with him, but what child wouldn’t? He was a dear dad and grandfather to every one of the children and grandchildren, a well as to his sons and daughters-in-law. I feel very privileged to have known him. Today would have been my father-in-law’s 88th birthday. I wish he were here so we could all celebrate it with him. Happy birthday in Heaven Dad. We love and miss you very much.
My niece, Kellie Hadlock is like her mother in so many ways. She is that “good” child, who doesn’t get in trouble, and can always be found with a smile on her face. Kellie can’t help but smile. It isn’t that no trouble passes by her. It’s just that Kellie chooses not to participate in the troubles of this world. There are probably a number of things that Kellie chooses not to participate in, but those really aren’t the important things. It’s the things Kellie chooses to participate in that really matter, because it is those things that define the wonderful woman Kellie is.
As a child, Kellie brought happiness and sunshine into a room with her every time she entered. She was always giggly and happy. Her laugh simply could not be ignored, because it was contagious. She laughed and you had to laugh, because she drew you into her unique sense of humor with every giggle. Her laugh expressed so much glee, 
that you couldn’t help but giggle right along with her. The reality is that little Kellie didn’t have a serious bone in her body, and I’m not so sure she does now. It’s not that she can’t be serious if she tries hard enough, but Kellie just chooses to take life with a big dose of laughter…and that hasn’t changed to this day. Still, no matter how funny and giggly Kellie was, there was one other bone missing from her body…the mean one. She couldn’t be mean to anyone if she tried. And believe me, Kellie doesn’t try to be mean, any more than she tries to be serious.
Kellie has a beautiful God given gift, in addition to her laughter…her singing voice. Kellie loves to sing, and even records her songs and puts them on YouTube. If you haven’t had the opportunity to listen to her sing, I highly 
recommend that you check it out. She plays the piano as well, and the music she creates is amazing. While Kellie is an insurance agent, her true calling is music ministry, and I can tell you that she definitely ministers to people through her music. When Kellie performs solos at our church, her message can move you to tears…not because the music is sad, but because it is so totally and completely beautiful. Kellie sings from her heart, and she has a heart for God. Her sweet spirit and her love of God show in every word she sings, every word she speaks, and even in her social media posts. What an awesome woman of God she is. Today is Kellie’s birthday. Happy birthday Kellie!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
Have you ever noticed that some children have a look on their face that tells you that they are a comedian at heart. I didn’t know my Uncle Wayne Byer when he was a little boy, but I have no doubt that he was a child comedian, because it was written all over his face. Uncle Wayne as a child always wore a mischievous smile. That smile, and the mischievousness that went with it, have never left him. In fact, I think they are one of the most endearing qualities Uncle Wayne has…to me anyway. When I think of him, I remember all the funny things he has done and how much he made us all laugh. What a great legacy for a person. A legacy of laughter. There are few things that make a person more memorable than the ability to make people laugh. Uncle Wayne has that.
My mother, Collene Spencer was the middle child in the family, and the middle child between the only two boys. In my mind, they were like the three musketeers. Where one was found getting into mischief, the other two were not far behind. That’s how it is with siblings sometimes. Different groups of siblings are closer than other groups, even if it is only during their childhood. My mom and her brothers probably drove my grandma crazy with their antics. My mom, aunts, and uncles used to get together once a month to have lunch, visit, and talk about old times. Sometimes, I would like to have been a fly on the wall while they told those stories.
Of course, time changes things, and kids grow up and find different things to spend 
time doing. My uncles used to go hunting with their dad to help supply food for the family. Slowly, childhood days slipped away, and Uncle Wayne, like all kids became an adult, has a family, and worked a job until it was time for him to retire, but he never lost his sense of humor. I think too, that the antics of the three middle children was a source of much laughter in conversations when the siblings got together is their adult years. Uncle Wayne is the last of the three musketeers left now, and that makes me very sad. I can still hear the laughter when all the siblings got together, and I really hate the fact that four of the nine are gone. I’m glad we still have Uncle Wayne though, and his great sense of humor. Today is Uncle Wayne’s 79th birthday. Happy birthday Uncle Wayne!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
My little great grand niece, Izabella Harman turned one year old today. Izabella, or Bella, or even Tink (as in Tinkerbell) is a little girl that is full of life and laughter. She works very hard to keep up with her big sister, Alice Green. They love having a sister, and they are best friends. Nevertheless, little Izabella looks like her daddy, Jake Harman, especially her eyes, but she has so many traits from her mommy too, especially, her personality. Bella’s mom, Melanie Harman is a sweet, happy girl with a positive personality, and Izabella’s ways are just like her mom…even though she is just one year old. The first year of a baby’s life is filled with many changes. They grow from infancy, to toddler, to a child during that time. Oh, I know they are still toddlers at one, but they are a child too. They talk now, walk now, and they have a mind of their own.
For Izabella, happiness is her sister, good food, and her loving parents and grandparents. It may not be a big world, but it is big enough for Bella. Her sister entertains her and keeps her smiling. Bella often wears her food, but then, would it taste as good as it does if she didn’t get it all over herself? Visiting her grandparents is among the most special times Bella has, and of course, she has two wonderful parents who love her to the moon and back. In fact, for little Bella, it’s all about the love, because that is what her world is made of. Everyone who sees her, knows that she is loved.
Before long, Bella will not be the baby though. She is soon to have a new little sibling, and then our little baby 
girl will be the big sister. It’s hard for me to believe that she will take on such a big new role, but like everything else, she will be great at it. She will smile and entertain the baby, just like their big sister Alice did for her, because that’s what siblings do for each other. I am so excited to see the girl the years will turn Bella into, because if she keeps her perfect little smile, and her precious little personality, she will be amazing. Today is Bella’s first birthday. Happy 1st birthday Bella!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
When two people are as great together as my nephew, Garrett Stevens and his bride, Kayla Smiley, you tend to think of them as already married. They are in tune with each other, and so happy. They have so much in common, and they are such good friends. Nevertheless, until today, they haven’t been married…just perfect for each other.
Today, all that will change as they take their vows and become husband and wife. When you watch someone grow up from birth, it is a strange thing to see them suddenly all grown up and getting married. That is the case with my nephew, Garrett Stevens. Garrett was a happy kid, who always had a smile on his face. Of course, that hasn’t changed, but these days that smile is there because of how happy he is with Kayla. She completes him and he completes her.
Kayla is a sweet girl, with a sweet and gentle heart. The little kids love her as much as they do Garrett. In fact, if they were allowed to they would probably spend all of their time with them. I guess that’s how it is when you don’t mind having some kid time in your life. It makes me think that someday Garrett and Kayla will make wonderful parents. Of course, that will be another story…someday. Garrett has always loved the little kids in the family, and I think Kayla is on the same page with him on that.
Today, as Garrett and Kayla embark on the first day of the rest of their lives, I think it is with mixed emotions 
that most of us view this wonderful ceremony. Of course, the part about them becoming husband and wife is wonderful and exciting, but for their parents…there is still that little hint of loss. The loss of their babies. How could they have grown up so fast? It seems like they were just born yesterday!! Be that as it may, their parents will now find that it’s not really about losing a daughter or son, but about gaining a daughter-in-law or son-in-law. The two become one, and then they go on together to make the most wonderful life ever. The direction their lives will take them is up to them, of course, but I know that their lives will be completely amazing. Today is Garrett and Kayla’s wedding day. Congratulations Garrett and Kayla!! It’s an awesome day. Congratulations!! We love you both!!
It seems that for every day, there is a designation…some more significant than others, but each with it’s designation nevertheless. Today is National Attitude Day, and while I think some of the designated days are silly and some downright ridiculous, some of them are designed to make you think a little. National Attitude Day is one of the latter. People so often allow negativity to dominate their lives, but think about the people in your life who are always happy and who always have a good attitude. Those are the people you want to have in your life, because they make you smile just to think about them. Those people have just as many problems as the people you know who are always negative. They just don’t let their problems determine their attitude.
My mother was one of those people who refused to let her problems determine her attitude. She would just start singing…usually something like “Keep on the Sunny Side” or “Let a Smile be your Umbrella.” Of course, as kids, we didn’t always appreciate her attitude…especially when we felt like it meant that she didn’t understand that we had a problem and we weren’t happy about it. She did understand though, and that was why she started singing. She knew that if she could get us singing too, we would feel better. That’s the thing about a good attitude…it makes you feel better, even if you have problems. That is something I find myself missing very much about my mom…her attitude. She used to do the funniest things in an effort to get all of us 
laughing, especially if we were fighting, and believe me when I say that five girls can fight…everything from an argument to a hair pulling fight. Mom sometimes got so frustrated with a fight that she would clear an area of a room out and tell us to fight. Of course, that usually made us all laugh, so the fight would be over. A very wise woman, my mom!!
People don’t like to see a person with a bad attitude. They take one look at your face, and if you have a sour look on it, they start doing everything they can to make you smile. As a teenager, I used to just hate that. I tended to be a concentrator, and so often had a frown on my fact…probably not the best way to go through my young life, but it is what it is. I can’t tell you how often people tried to tell me to smile…while I did, I was also annoyed. I look back now and realize they were trying to do the same thing my mom was…get me back on the sunny side of life.
A little boy I once knew, who is no longer little, is graduating from college today. How can it be? The years have literally flown by. He was the child who first made me a grandmother. My little Christopher Todd Petersen, who arrived on his great grandmother, Joann Schulenberg’s birthday, changed my world…adding such a wonderful new dimension to it. My heart was filled with joy.
Chris had such a cute smile, and he made the cutest faces. He soon wowed us with his ability to make all the animal sounds on demand, and made us laugh as he emptied out any box or basket of its contents so he could climb in a sit a while. He was all boy…and the culture shock I had never experienced before, because I had daughters…well, believe me when I say, “Boys are very different from girls!!” I don’t mean just physically, but in every aspect of their being, from the physical…to their personalities. Nevertheless, having three grandsons and one granddaughter has been one of the most rewarding parts of my life, a blessing beyond words.
Fast forward now, a little over twenty years, and suddenly that little boy is graduating from college. His dream is to own his own restaurant, and who knows, maybe even a chain of them. He is graduating as one of the top of his class from the Culinary School at Sheridan College. Even that seems like it flew by. Literally, it seems like yesterday that he headed off to college, calling home often to tell everyone just how homesick he was, and now he emerges…a man, with a degree. He is a chef…not a cook…a chef, with all the respect that goes along with that title. He has made good friends in Sheridan, and for now, has decided to stay there to live and work in a fine dining restaurant called Open Range which is located in the historic Sheridan Inn. Chris loves working there and tells us his coworkers are great.
He is living his dream. He has been very blessed to be able to work in such a restaurant before his degree work is even complete, and today Open Range becomes very blessed to have a chef working for them who has earned his degree, and brings with him the prestige that his degree carries with it. With his skill level 
and attention to detail, Chris will be bringing with him a level of recognition that Open Range can be proud of. It is a win-win situation for both of them. Chris has really taken to the style of creativity that is vital to fine dining, and he will be showing that great skill level to the people who live in and visit Sheridan in the future. Congratulations Chris!! Your hard work has paid off. We, your family and friends are so very proud of all your accomplishments. We wish you God’s very best in all your future endeavors!! We love you very much!!
Whenever I think of my Aunt Deloris Byer Johnson, I can’t help by see her smiling face. Aunt Dee was the inventive one in my mothers family. She had a way of creating fun. If she was around, her siblings knew that things were about to get crazy. She might decide to see if a couple of kids could really fly in the wind with a big trench coat on, or she might decide to teach everyone to dance. With Aunt Dee, there was never a dull moment.
Aunt Dee was always filled with anticipation about the next step in life…even if it was just the next day. She always expected something amazing to happen, and if it didn’t, she figured out a way to make something happen. Aunt Dee wasn’t a troublemaker, just an excited kid, who made things happen in her life…fun things, and the beneficiaries of her playful spirit. My mom, Collene Byer Spencer, used to tell me about all the fun things the kids did with her sister’s help. They were memories of her sister, that my mom treasured all her life. Mom and Aunt Dee were always close. They shared a joy for life that somehow kept them young at heart.
When Aunt Dee got sick, I would have thought that they joy might have been gone, and perhaps it was as time 
went on, but in the early days of her illness, That sweet smile was still there. Every time I saw her, it was as if she was trying to cheer everyone else up. After her passing, I think that the world seemed a little bit dull, because Aunt Dee’s sweet spirit was not with us any more. She had always been a big part of my life, and I knew that I would always miss her very much. I know that I will see her again in Heaven, and I look forward to seeing her again. Today would have been Aunt Deloris’ 85th birthday. Happy birthday in Heaven Aunt Dee. We all love and miss you very much.
From the first time I saw my husband, Bob Schulenberg, I liked him. There were many things I liked about him, but one of them was his great smile. Bob was always a happy guy. He laughs a lot, especially at comedy shows. It’s not that comedy is the only thing he likes to watch, but when he seems a good comedy, he laughs through the whole show…even if he is the only person in the room. His laugh is great, but it isn’t just about his laugh. Bob has a great smile…and it’s been with him all his life.
As a little boy, Bob had many facial expressions…little most kids do, but there were some that I especially like. His “shocked baby” looks is hilarious. His “my big sister is bossy” look is pretty good too, but his “bashful smile” is among my favorites. That little smile tells me what a sweet boy he was. It is a part of him that has never left him. Bob is sweet almost to a fault. Sometimes I see that little boy in him…that sweet little boy who goes out of his way to do sweet things for me. I don’t think that a lot of people get to see that side of him, but I get to see it, because sometimes the little boy in Bob comes out in the things he does.
Bob, the man, is so similar to Bob, the little boy. He is sweet and eager to make people smile. He really spoils me rotten…but don’t tell him I said that. I do have to consider what I tell him I want or want to do, because he will go out of his way to make it happen if there is a way. It makes me feel like a princess. I 
think Bob, the little boy had a favorite person in his life too, and I think that person was his Grandma Hein. He loved going up to see her, and to help out around her place. To him it was one of the highlights of his summer. And his grandma remained one of his favorite people throughout his whole life. I could go on and on about all the things that makes Bob such a great guy, but I’m sure you already think I’m biased. This isn’t Bob’s birthday or anything, I just like to write about what a great guy I have sometimes. I love you honey.
