selfies

In a world where we have all become professionals at photography, carrying our cameras with us all the time, because they are built into our phone, the selfie picture has become the norm in society. We use every version of facial expression from a smile, to a pout, to a look of shock, to a look of anger…real or faked. We use no smile, a toothy grin, or a soft closed-mouth smile, or we might even pucker up, or stick out our tongue. The idea of the unusual or even ridiculous smile is as commonplace as is picture taking itself.

It wasn’t always so, however. When we look at pictures from the early days of photography, the people almost always appear straight-faced, and almost angry. Many people theorized that they didn’t smile because they had bad teeth. It was all too common prior to the days of modern dentistry. As it turns that wasn’t the case, since there were plenty of individuals who had fabulous teeth, yet still kept their mouths shut during pictures. Not to mention, humans can smile without showing their teeth. Another theory was that that because the cameras of old took time to set up and had a long exposure period, anywhere from five minutes to more than 30. It was impractical to hold a smile so long. While that idea does make sense, it doesn’t explain why subjects were rarely depicted smiling in old paintings or why people didn’t start showing their pearly whites in the 1840s when exposure times for photos were under a minute. While these issues might have prevented some from smiling, the major reason for the serious looks was because most people thought smiling made them look ridiculous. Ultimately, the real reason folks didn’t smile was because they thought it made them look stupid. Many people don’t think they have a great smile. They think their smile makes them look goofy, and they didn’t want that to be how they were remembered. Mark Twain summed it up best when he said, “A photograph is a most important document, and there is nothing more damning to go down to posterity than a silly, foolish smile caught and fixed forever.”

These days, that thought is ridiculous. People smiled and laughed in those days, so how could it make them look ridiculous? I find it funny that in different eras, different things are cool or not cool, or even ridiculous. It would seem that each generation has their own uniqueness, and often the prior generation things they are crazy…as do the future generations. According to Nicholas Jeeves, who wrote an extensive article on the topic, by the 17th century “it was a well-established fact that the only people who smiled broadly, in life and in art, were the poor, the lewd, the drunk, the innocent, and the entertainment.” These days, we smile in photos to show happiness or warmth, but back then it was viewed as the equivalent of duckface…a look no self-respecting Victorian would want recorded. As photography advanced and became more common, folks didn’t have to choose a single expression to serve as their memorial for the ages, which opened them up to showing a range of expressions in photos. Still, we can only imagine what the people of the past would think of the hundreds of thousands of pics that are now taken every minute, complete with our foolish smirks, photobombs, and even goofy filtered selfies.

Singing in the carLet's danceMy grand niece, Aurora Hadlock is quite a girl. At four years old, she has different moods. Sometimes, she is shy, and clings to her parents a bit, It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like her family, but more likely that she is a little bit tired, and maybe in need of a nap. I know this, because Aurora is a little girl who loves to tease and make people laugh. She tries hard to find ways to tease those around her. Aurora comes by her teasing ways naturally, because her dad, my nephew, Ryan Hadlock is the biggest teaser I know. Aurora, however, has taken a bit of a page out of my grandson, Caalab Royce’s book, in that she likes to play with hair, and sometimes…very careful not to hurt, she pulls it, just to see if I am paying attention. When I look back at her, she gets the biggest grin on her face, because she knows that she got my attention, and pulled on over on me.

Since May, my niece, Chelsea Hadlock, who is Aurora’s mom has been one of the backup singers at church, along with my niece Kellie Hadlock, who is Aurora’s aunt, and me. I think Aurora, or Rory as she was nicknamed, likes the fact that her mom sings on the stage, because she has always liked music, and now I think she is practicing for the day when she might be able to sing on the stage, just like her mommy. I love that she loves music, and it is so sweet that she wants to be just like her mom. I don’t know if she will sing on stage, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she did some day. When it comes to singing, Rory has no timidity. She just doesn’t care who might hear her. She is simply focused on her song and her singing. Rory also loves to dance, and so music is the perfect invitation to start dancing…unless she is singing in the car, of course. It’s hard to dance when you are strapped into a car seat. All you can do is keep the beat with you head or your shoulders.

It’s amazing to see the changes in Rory as she grows each year. Her personality is so bubbly and fun. She is quick to laugh, and when she does, her eyes just twinkle. She loves playing with her aunts, Jessi, Lindsay, and Kellie, and her uncles, Jason and Shannon. Making faces and taking selfies is big in their play. Then she gets to Getting her bling onStriking a Poselook at the goofy pictures they have taken. That, of course, brings about more goofiness for both Rory and her aunts or uncles. And, lest we forget, just know that Rory is a girly girl, and getting her bling on is of the utmost importance. After all, Rory is a princess. I think Rory is going to be a really happy, fun filled girl all her life, because she has such a wonderful outlook on life, and a bubbly, happy personality. She is a real cutie, but this girl has more going for her than just looks. She is an amazing girl. Today is Rory’s 4th birthday. Happy birthday Rory!! Have a great day Sweetie!! We love you!!

Caryn abt 3rd gradeHave you ever noticed that during the teen years, none of those kids want to smile…in fact, their pictures look like they are mad at the world. The only real exceptions to that rule is selfies and pictures with friends, that their parents don’t always have access to. Looking back on some of the pictures of me as a teenager, I think, “What was wrong with me? I really must have had a very bad attitude!!” I know several other people who would admit to having a bad attitude as a teenager, and I would have to say that I was one of them, although maybe I wasn’t as bad as some people. Nevertheless, I know that there were a lot of people who had a much better attitude than I Caryn Spencer 15 yrs olddid, and looking back now, I wish I had been more like those people. A bad attitude really is a big waste of time, energy, and most of all, happiness.

Really, I don’t think my attitude was so horrible. I knew kids in high school who you just steered clear of, because their attitude was the worst, and you certainly didn’t want to say or do something to make them mad at you. You never knew what might happen, and I was not interested in getting beaten up. Sometimes in junior high and high school, things can be like a gang war, when you have the kids with a bad attitude, and someone who isn’t like that, looks at the kids with a bad attitude just slightly wrong, it turns into a big fight.

Thankfully most kids keep their bad attitude more to themselves or Me in 1989to family issues at home, but sometimes it does spill over to the school environment. Today, we would call those kids bullies…and rightly so. When a person cannot control their temper and they lash out at others, they have to be stopped. But these are not the majority of people, they are the minority.

For most of us, the bad attitude that we have periodically or just during a phase of our lives, it kept more to a small arena of people, who suffer in silence…or maybe not so silently…until the person with the bad attitude gets tired of wearing a frown all the time, and starts to live again. Thankfully, the teen years are only ten years out of life, then they are over, and life is better again.

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