loss

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I have been very privileged to have had two men that I called “Dad” who were both among the kindest men I have ever met. My father-in-law, Walt Schulenberg became my second “Dad” when I married my husband, Bob Schulenberg in 1975. He was a hardworking man, almost to the point of being a workaholic, but that was common for the times and the bigger families that people had. My in-laws, Walt and Joann had six children, of which my husband was the third child and first boy. In big families, there is, by necessity, a certain amount of joking and teasing. It’s really the only way to make sure the kids aren’t always fighting. Everyone’s kids need to know how to hake a joke. They also, need to know how to tell one in good clean fun. Dad taught them well, as did my parents, so Bob and I were quite compatible in that way, as well as many others, of course.

My father-in-law spent most of his childhood living on ranches and learned his work ethic there. When you are raising cattle, there is little sleeping in until noon. As with most kids of that era, the workload was shared. The parents couldn’t be expected to take care of everything, especially when there are perfectly healthy kids who can help. He helped with chores around the house, and later with everything from feeding the animals to branding them. Over the years he raised some animals of their own, although not to the grand scale that he had grown up with. I was raised in town, so cows, chickens, rabbits, and the like were a little foreign to me. Nevertheless, if you put your mind to it, you can learn just about anything, and my in-laws were good teachers.

Later in his life, my father-in-law moved my mother-in-law and their eldest daughter, Marlyce to town. While he no longer raised animals, he planted a garden in the back yard, from which my mother-in-law canned the vegetables. His also built a hobby barn, really just a tall and fairly large shed, where he could tinker around making different crafts. He made wooden toys and wind spinners. They graced his yard for the rest of his life, as well as may yards around town. People would see them and want to buy them. He also refurbished lawn chairs, actually making them far more beautiful than they had previously been. He was an accomplished contractor, though mostly just for himself and his family. Nevertheless, he did make so steps for people and a few other things over the years. His was a life well lived, and it makes me sad that he has been gone for eleven years now. Nevertheless, time marches on, and today I find that he did leave us eleven years ago today. I still miss him every day.

My sister-in-law, Rachel Schulenberg left us all too soon just over three years ago. She was just 45 years old. We all felt her loss quite deeply. Rachel was a kind soul, who loved everyone. She had worked at a church in Powell, before she was introduced to my brother-in-law, Ron Schulenberg. When they were married, she moved to Casper, where Ron lived. Prior to that, and even after her marriage, Rachel could often be found talking to people about Jesus. She was sold out to the Lord, which of course, makes me thankful, because we know where she is, and that we will see her again. While we know that is the case, it doesn’t mean that we miss her less. Rachel is the kind of person who makes her mark on your heart, and it never goes away.

Rachel left behind her husband, Ron and three children, and at that time, two grandchildren, Lucas Iverson and Zoey Iverson. She would be thrilled to know that she now has four grandchildren, and a bonus grandson. In addition to Lucas and Zoey, Ryder Birky and Alicen Burr, were born in 2022 and 2023 respectively. Also, Riley’s fiancée, Sierah Martin, had a son, Jace Swan from a prior relationship. I know that her children, Cassie Franklin (Wesley Burr), Riley Birky (Sierah Martin), and Tucker Schulenberg (when he has kids) will all tell their children about their sweet grandmother. They need to be told how very special she was, and how thrilled she was to be a grandmother. I will never forget when Lucas was born, and she first became a grandmother. Lucas was early and very small, and she couldn’t wait to meet him. I’m sure she is looking forward to meeting all of them one day.

Rachel would not only be very proud of her grandchildren, but her children as well. Each of them has gone through some adversity, and they have persevered to come out on top on the other side of their problems. Rachel raised so very strong human beings, and I believe that they will live successful lives that their mother would be very proud of. They are highly motivated to live lives of which their mother would be proud, and that makes me very proud of them. These kids, who are mostly not kids anymore, have become responsible adults…people Rachel would have been really proud of. Of course, she was always proud of her kids. They were always her pride and joy, and she knew that they were going to be ok, because she had trained them to be strong people. I just really wish she could have been her to play with these sweet little grandbabies. Life goes on after a loss, and we must go on with it. I heard an old saying once, in reference to the loss of a loved one. When asked how you get over it, and the answer was, “You don’t get over it…you get on with it.” Truer words were never spoken. While Rachel is no longer her with us, the memories of the good times are, and we will cherish those forever. Happy birthday in Heaven, Rachel. We love and miss you very much.

When my husband, Bob’s uncle, Bobby Cole comes to mind, I am taken back to the days when my girls, Corrie Petersen and Amy Royce, were little. Whenever we took a trip to see Bobby and Bob’s aunt, Linda Cole, we always had a great time. The girls got to play with their cousins, Sheila and Pat, and we enjoyed visiting and playing cards with Linda and Bobby. In those days, they lived in Kennebec, South Dakota. It was a tiny little town, with very little to do, so having visitors was a big deal to them.

Linda and Bobby owned a hotel, and there were a few guests, but not really very many. It was like they owned a bed and breakfast…for us anyway. The rest of the guests had to go somewhere else for their breakfast. Bummer for them!! The visit was always so relaxing. The small-town feel was always there, and really, I loved it. I wouldn’t want to live in a small town all the time, but as an annual getaway, it was nice. I suppose it was the break from the everyday that held the majority of the appeal. We didn’t get to see Linda and Bobby much, so having the unhurried time to visit was a rare treat. They were always so full of laughter and fun.

A few years later, their hotel was struck by lightning during a summer storm, and it burned to the ground. After the fire, they made the decision to get out of the hotel business, and to get out of Kennebec. That was when they moved to Winnemucca, Nevada, and for the most part the annual trips stopped. Winnemucca was too far away to make it a weekend trip, like we could with Kennebec. I was always sorry to see those trips end. It was rather like the end of an era. The only thing that was more sad was when Bobby passed away, and then when Linda passed away. I will always miss them. They were a very fun couple. Today would have been Bobby’s 81st birthday. Happy birthday in Heaven, Bobby. We love and miss you very much.

My cousin, Delwin Johnson was always a quiet man…at least he was every time I was around him. Nevertheless, he was a sweet man, and it makes me sad that he has left us. I’m sure that he wasn’t quite so quiet around his family. In fact, he loved teasing his nephew, Ethan Stanko when he kept asking his mom, JeanAnn Stanko to explain the game of football to him on Thanksgiving, but then Ethan was just too busy to listen to his mom teach him about the game. It’s a typical kid thing, but funny, nevertheless. As for Del’s brother, Elmer…well, they were very close, and there will always be a hole in Elmer’s life where his little brother once was. That makes me so sad, because I know Elmer missed Del so much.

Delwin, wasn’t a clumsy sort, but he did have a “little mishap” one time while he was out hunting with his sister, Darla Stanko. His niece, JeanAnn Stanko tells me, “He was with mom (his sister, Darla Stanko). They stopped because they saw a deer and he accidentally shot through the floorboards, hitting the transmission cooling lines. As you know transmission fluid is red, so it looked like the car was bleeding.” I can see the shock on their faces now, and then, I can almost hear Delwin saying, “Oops, I shot the car!!” Then, the shock would most likely turn to hysterical laughter…until it came time to figure out how to get home…and how to get the car fixed.

Ashley McCollum calls Delwin, Uncle Del, not because he is her biological uncle, but because her dad and Del were friends before Ashley was born. Ashley grew up around Del, and she said that Del had a profound impact on her life. When Ashley was in 7th grade, she was living with Del in a little house on Durbin Street in Casper, and their favorite thing to do was to take turns playing Zelda on Del’s Super Nintendo. They loved to take their fishing trips. He also helped Ashley and her dad when they needed a new roof on their house. And there was the time Del fed Angel (who I assume was a dog) the last of his pizza. Ashley says you would just have to be to understand, and that she will forever miss her Uncle Del.

Rachel Johnson, Del’s daughter-in-law recalls the trips she and his son, Jason took to see Del, over the 4th of July. Del’s grandson, JJ had such a wonderful time. He and Grandpa Delwin loved playing with the Nerf guns. Every time JJ managed to hit Del in the chest, Del acted the part of a man who had been shot. JJ loved it!! He laughed and laughed. JJ loved his grandpa so much, and after they had visited, he asked to go see Grandpa Delwin for weeks and weeks. Del loved being a grandpa, and the grandkids and step grandkids were his pride and joy. They are the blessing you get from being a parent. Delwin passed away in exactly the way he wanted to…peacefully in his sleep. We will all miss him very much. Rest in peace Del…until we all meet again.

My husband, Bob Schulenberg’s uncle, Bernard Eugene “Butch” Hein was a well-known rancher is Forsyth, Montana. He was born June 28, 1945, in Miles City, Montana, to Walt and Vina Hein of Forsyth, Montana. Butch was the youngest of his mother’s five children (two of them, Marion and Walt Schulenberg) from a previous marriage. He also had a sister, Esther Hein and a brother, Eddie Hein. The family lived on a ranch outside of Forsyth. It was there that Butch first learned about ranching and knew that this would be his life’s work. While Butch would spend his childhood years helping on the ranch, there would be other life events that would have to take place before he finally settled into ranching. Butch graduated from Forsyth high school in 1964. The Vietnam war was in full swing, and Butch was drafted to the Navy in 1966. In all the years I have known Butch, he, like most other veterans never talked about his time during that war. I don’t know where he spent his service years, but I know that he was one of the men blessed to have made it home.

After returning home for his time in the service, Butch married Bonnie Wertz on April 13, 1968. Bonnie was the love of his life, and they began to build a life together. Their son, Scott Michael was born on November 5, 1969, and they were happy with their little family. Unfortunately, while they were preparing to expand their family, Bonnie was diagnosed with cancer. She delayed treatment in order to give their daughter a chance at life. Crista Dawn was born on October 26, 1973, but passed away on November 2, 1973. Bonnie continued to weaken and passed away on April 27, 1974. Butch was devastated. He felt like his life was over, but he had a son who needed him, so Butch pulled himself together, and raised his son as a single dad. Scott was his greatest achievement, and they were not only father and son, but later business partners and best friends. That friendship continued right up to Butch’s passing.

On October 13, 2023, a 78-year-old Butch, who was still very vibrant and full of life, got in his car and entered the interstate at his life-long hometown, Forsyth, Montana. Much of the rest is unknown at this time, but in the end, Butch was hit broadside by a semi-truck, and killed instantly. For his family, and all who knew him, this was a devastating loss. Butch was a friend to many, and certainly most of the town of Forsyth. He was also Grandpa to Scott’s three children with his wife Terri (née Wiederrick) Hein…Laura (Sean) Dailey, Carson Hein, and Lindsey Hein. Butch was so proud of his family, and one of the recent highlights of his life was being able to attend his granddaughter, Laura’s wedding on September 30, 2023. His grandchildren were his pride and joy. Laura is a junior high school teacher in Chester, Montana; Carson works at the ranch with his dad and grandpa; and Lindsey is in college at Montana State University, having received a basketball scholarship. Butch was an amazing dad to Scott, and a blessing to Terri and the kids as well. His life’s work might have been ranching, but his family was his legacy. He will be forever loved and missed very much.

The loss of a loved one is one of the hardest of life events, and when it is a child, be it a young child or an adult child, it is even worse. For my uncle, Lester “Jim” Wolfe and my aunt, Ruth Wolfe, the loss of their adult son, Larry Wolfe in an explosion on May 16, 1976, was a devastation. They, like any parent, had a really hard time coping with the loss. They were living in Vallejo, California at the time, but after their loss, they could no longer stay there. They had to get out of California. It was then that a move to Washington state seemed their best option. I don’t know if Washington had been on their radar prior to Larry’s passing at 26 years old, or not, but they moved the entire family to the mountains outside Newport, in eastern Washington state. They purchased basically the entire mountain top, and built three cabins, where they would live out their lives.

They lived a good life on the mountain top. They were completely off the grid, something that is common these days, but not so much back then. Nevertheless, they craved total isolation, and the mountain top provided just that. Still, while they wanted to be left alone, they still enjoyed traveling, and they came out to see our family several times after that. Aunt Ruth was my dad, Allen Spencer’s sister, after all. Uncle Jim lost Aunt Ruth to cancer, on May 11, 1992, when she was just 66 years old. I’m sure he quickly learned to dread the coming of May. After that, we lost touch with them unto shortly before Uncle Jim passed away on January 30, 2013. We had reconnected with his daughter, my cousin Shirley Cameron in 2011, but by that time Uncle Jim was already in a nursing home with Dementia. We were always sad about that, but for the most part Uncle Jim was happy. His favorite things to do were strolling down the halls in his wheelchair singing and flirting with the nurses that worked there. They all loved him and thought his flirting was cute, and knowing my uncle like I did, I’m sure he was also a great jokester. He always had been, so playing pranks on the nurses came naturally. He once tried hiding in the nurses’ station but got caught. I’m not sure if his plan was to scare them or to catch one around the waist when she wasn’t looking. I wouldn’t put either choice past him. Uncle Jim was always a lighthearted person and great fun to be around. He loved to take his family camping, and maybe that was a big part of the reason the family moved to the mountains of Washington in the first place.

It was with heavy hearts that we attended the funeral of our uncle. My mom, Collene Spencer, sister, Cheryl Masterson, and I all made the trip to Washington. It was a bittersweet trip. We were happy to see their family again. We had not seen my cousin, Terry Wolfe, Shirley’s brother in many years either, although we had texted back and forth a little. We just wished that the reason for the trip had not been my Uncle Jim’s funeral. While it would have been hard, we would much rather have been able to visit him at the nursing home just once before his passing. Today would have been Uncle Jim’s 102nd birthday had he still been with us. Happy birthday in Heaven, Uncle Jim. We love and miss you very much.

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