As I was watching “Everybody Loves Raymond” on television the other day, Marie, Ray’s mom planted a kiss on each of her sons’ foreheads…in bright red lipstick. That took me back to the many times my sisters and I got a kiss from our mom in bright red lipstick, and walked away trying to get the lipstick off of our face. We would immediately go to one of our family members and ask if we had removed all the lipstick. Of course, Mom, who always knew that we would have her lipstick on our face, simply grinned about it, as we tried to wipe away the cherry red lipstick. Still, how could you really get angry at her for it. It was a show of her love for us.
Mom always did wear cherry red lipstick, even when the style was light pinks, and of course, her girls wouldn’t be caught dead in that color…even if it was in style. Nevertheless, the color did suit Mom’s face and her coloring, so I suppose for her it was the right color. We did try several times to talk her into a lighter color, but even if we gave it to her, she went back to her signature cherry red before very long. I don’t think it was because she wanted to kiss it onto our cheeks, but rather that Dad liked that color, or maybe she just thought Dad liked it. They did come from a different era than we did, and I happen to know that my husband would rather I didn’t wear any lipstick at all. He’s not real fond of Chapstick either. I guess women wear lipstick for their own feeling toward their looks…as with any makeup really. Still, I can’t speak for Dad. Maybe he did like it.
As I looked at the bright red lipstick mark on both Raymond and Robert’s faces, I just had to laugh, because I could must see all the little boys in our family making faces and wiping of the offending lipstick, before anyone could see it, and since many of her kisses to then were planted in church or at some family gathering, the chance of anyone seeing such a humiliating kiss on the cheek, were very high. Most boys go through those stages anyway, where a kiss from their mom, aunt, or grandma is just a horrifying experience, so to have it happen in front of people…oh my gosh…it’s just horrible!!! Still, even my husband and brothers-in-law, were not immune…Mom was an equal opportunity kisser. Looking back on those events now that Mom is in Heaven, however…well, it has a tendency to make me just miss her all that much more. What I wouldn’t give for just one more kiss from my mom, and I know that everyone in my family feels exactly the same way. I have to think that I would leave that cherry red lipstick right there on my cheek…or at the very least, take a picture of it, so I could look back on it once in a while, and remember what a loving mom I was blessed with.
One of the things that has always stood out in my mind when I think of my mom and dad, is that he always called her Doll. Many people call their wife honey, sweetie, or baby, but Mom was always Dad’s Doll. It was his way of always reminding her of just how beautiful she was. That was the kind of relationship they had. Dad was always the kind of man who wanted his girl to know that she was his princess, and he thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. She was a living doll, and he made sure to remind her of that fact every day…several times a day.
Theirs was a marriage filled with special moments. From the moments their daughters, Cheryl, Caryn, Caryl, Alena, and Allyn were born to the moments when the grandchildren and great grandchildren arrived, they were blessed with so many special moments to share in their lives. They took many trips through the years, because they both loved to travel, and wanted their girls to see the this country too, and the world if we chose to.
Mom and Dad always had a romantic relationship. I suppose they were just hopeless romantics and that fueled the whole thing. I suppose there are kids out there who are embarrassed about seeing their parents kissing each other, but we were not. It was a normal part of our everyday life. Don’t get me wrong, we still teased them by singing, “Mommy and Daddy are kissing!! Mommy and Daddy are kissing!!” Then everyone would laugh about it. Nevertheless, it didn’t bother them a bit. I think we all got a kick out of their lack of reaction too. It was all a part of who they were together. And it gave us such a sense of security and stability. We just always knew that for as long as they lived, our lives would be just like it was…perfect!! And the only thing that has ever taken that perfectness away, was when Dad left us for Heaven, but only because he is gone from us.
They really lived a fairy tale life. In every way, Mom was Dad’s everything, and he was hers. She loved him from the moment she met him, and I think from that moment on she knew they would get married. Pretty good for a 16 year old girl. And I guess she made up her mind and that was it. They were married 53 years before Dad’s passing parted them, but their love continues on to eternity.
I think the love my parents showed us really defined love for all of us. I know that for me, I will always be able to hear my dad call my mom Doll as one of the most beautiful shows of love there is. Today is my mom’s birthday. Happy birthday Mom, from Dad and your girls too!! Have a great day!! We love you!!
Big sisters are a very unique type of person, especially when they are the oldest child. They have gone from being the only child to being a little mommy’s helper in the care of their new little sibling. They are usually young enough to have it in their head that this is their baby, so don’t even tell them that they can’t be the mommy! They don’t like it when you don’t let them be the caregiver of this new baby. Of course, as with any job, they know that there are some things that should be handled by the nanny (ie, Mommy)…like stinky diapers!! Mom is totally welcome to step in at that moment. And if this kid decides to scream, and a bottle won’t fix it, well, call in the nanny. Nanny/Mommy is good for some things, but not when the big sister is in charge. They are for when big sister needs a babysitter for the baby, and nothing more. It is almost as if Mommy is really a surrogate mommy.
While big sisters can be in the way for moms sometimes, it is also very sweet to watch there first attempts at mothering. Girls have a built in mother’s instinct, in most cases, and it comes out in them very early on. From the moment they hold their first doll, they are a mommy in their own mind. Of course, maybe that doll is the reason that they don’t care much for stinky diapers or screaming babies. I mean, that doll was just so much better behaved than that, right? Nevertheless, it doesn’t take long for them to realize that this new baby is a bit different than that baby doll they had, but as they get used to the new baby, they instinctively understand that crying and the smell is just a part of the deal with a younger sibling, so as long as Mommy or somebody else shows up for the tough times, the responsibilities of a big sister are not so bad.
Unfortunately, as the baby gets older, the newness also wears off some, and before the baby is old enpugh to play or walk, the older sister might get tired of helping out. It doesn’t always happen, but sometimes it does. If it happens, it is usually a short period of time, because before too long, the baby is old enough to play with its older sister, and then the fun really begins. With an older sister teaching the younger sibling the ropes, there is no telling what kind of trouble they can manage to get into. In fact, if you think about it, you can probably come up with a whole list of ways you got into trouble with your big sister’s help, or maybe for you it was a big brother, but that is another story.