husband

Annie, Anna, & LauraFor some time now, I have been trying to find any information on the family of my Great Grandma Henriette Hensel Schumacher. The pictures we have of Grandma’s immediate family, which includes my grandmother, Anna Schumacher Spencer, always seem to include two cousins. We know that their names are Anna Schubring and Laura Kurth. We don’t know if those are maiden names or married names, and that makes this harder. Recently, I found a picture of a family, and I believe that the oldest girl is Laura Kurth. The other girls did not exactly look like Anna Schubring, but I thought that possibly this family was my great grandmother’s sisters family. She was the sister that my grandmother came to America with, and since her first husband died, and she remarried and had more children, That could explain the difference in the two girls features.

Last night I stumbled upon a little bit more information. The girls are not sisters, or even half sisters, as I had originally thought they might be. My sister, Cheryl thought that the father in the family picture looked a bit like our Great Grandfather Carl Schumacher, and thought he could be his brother. I now believe that she is right in that. What I found is a page from my Uncle Bill’s family history, but it wasn’t with the rest of his history books…it was in some pictures he had sent to my cousin, Tracey Schumacher-Inglimo’s family. This picture tells us that Anna Schubring is the daughter of one of Great Grandma Henriette Hensel Schumacher’s sister and that she came from Canada. Anna could possibly be the daughter of the sister that my great grandmother came to America with, whose husband died a short time later, and she remarried and had more children. Having a step father could also be part of the reason that Anna spent so much time with her Aunt Henriette’s family. Sometimes the step parent situation doesn’t work out so well for some of the children. If Anna is that child, then she has a sibling that would be from that first marriage too, but we don’t really have any information on that.

Laura Kurth is also a cousin, but on the Schumacher side, so Cheryl is probably right in that she thought the father in the family picture looked like our great grandfather, Carl Schumacher’s side of the family. Cheryl also thought that Anna looked older than Laura, so she might be correct in that too. Laura’s family lived in the Mazeppa, Minnesota area, which might explain why she spent a lot of time with her Aunt Henriette and Uncle Carl’s family…not 034ato mention that she and my grandma, Anna Schumacher Spencer were fairly close in age. I am also assuming that Kurth was Laura’s married name, and that her dad was the Schumacher brother, but I could be mistaken in that too, and it could be that her mother was the blood relation to my great grandfather. I may never find out for sure just how these cousins fit into our family, but I will most likely not stop looking until I do find out. Nevertheless, these pictures lad me to believe that my great grandparents were very close to their siblings, even if there is a sense of mystery to my family and their elusive ancestors too.

The Love Of My LifeWhen you’re young, you look for certain traits in a man, but I think that most of us probably look for many of the wrong traits. It’s not that we don’t choose good men, but simply that we choose men for the wrong reasons. As a teenager, I looked for a guy that was cute and one that had a nice personality. That is how most dating starts, but if cute and a good personality is all he has, you are going to get bored pretty fast, and it will be a good thing that you did. We look for men who have the same interests as we do, because they have a nice car, or because they take us nice places. These are not bad traits either. Trying to date on a bicycle is pretty tough, and if he doesn’t take you out anywhere or you have nothing in common…again, you are going to get bored pretty quick. It’s important to look for someone who believes the same as you do…someone who is going somewhere in life…someone with the same values and goals as you have. Those are important traits…right?

Well, they are, but you really need to look a little further down the road than that short term, madly in love, your are so handsome, I can’t breathe without you, passion, because while those things are truly important, Those things are going to fade later in life. That man who was so perfect, so handsome, who took your breath away…is going to get older. He might lose all that hair that you loved, or suddenly have lots of wrinkles. After living with him for 30 plus years, you have seen it all…his good habits, bad habits, and horrible habits. He is maybe a little more flabby, and you have discovered that you can indeed breathe when he is not with you. I heard it said once, that “what you lack in spontaneity, you make up for in consistency” and you find yourself thinking just how true that is. Do you still love him? Well, the answer for me is an overwhelming, “Yes!!”Our Wedding

So what traits should we be looking for, or hoping we stumble into, since most of us at the time of our marriage are too love struck to think clearly enough to look for the right traits in a man? I’ll tell you what I have found out. When you take those vows, and the minister says, “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part”, it may or may not mean your sickness or health, or for better or worse in your own lives, or even your finances. I’m sure most people only think of it in those terms, but as we age…while we may get weaker or look a little worse for wear, it is likely, first to be our parents who will be weak or sick, and that is when those vows really come into play. That is when the traits that you thought were so important will begin to seem like silly school girl ideas of Prince Charming.

It is the man who sticks with you when you have to give time to others in need, and doesn’t complain because he is home alone while you take care of those things…the man who gets up at 3 in the morning because a parent has fallen and you have to go pick them up…and then he has to get up, as do you and go to work in the morning…the man who doesn’t complain about helping in the care of an elderly parent, even if it means eating late, and falling asleep in your chairs, watching television…the man who helps out around the house, and doesn’t mind if it isn’t spick and span, because you have been too busy cleaning your parents homes…yes, it’s that man that I want in my life. He is the one who may not have known about all this stuff when he married you, but as time went on and things changed in your lives, he stuck with you…worked with you…walked with you, through it all That is the kind of husband a woman really wants if she thinks about it. And, that is the husband I got when I married Bob, 39 years ago today. I was young and couldn’t have seen those traits in him if I had tried. I was too busy looking at things like how cute he was, how much we had in common, what a great Growing Old Togethercar he had, and the fact that he took me places. I was too busy trying to catch my breath when he was around, and missing him horribly when he wasn’t. So, like most women who are still married after all these years, all I can do is thank God for bringing this wonderful man into my life. That is the only way it could possibly be that we are here, today, celebrating 39 years and counting, even after all that life has handed us. I love you Bob…more and more every year, every month, every day, every minute and every second. You are my one and only, my soul mate, the love of my life. I thank God for you every day.  I am so blessed to be married to you. Happy 39th Anniversary, Honey!! I will always love you!!

Kevin & CorrieWhen my daughter, Corrie and  her husband, Kevin were dating, there came a day when Corrie was at her Grandma Schulenberg’s house to visit. Kevin came by, and they were sitting on the front porch talking. Corrie was sixteen years old at the time, and Kevin was nineteen. It was a nice day, and they were just enjoying each other’s company, when her grandma came out of the house and said that they were going grocery shopping, and asked if Corrie wanted to go along or stay there at the house. Corrie said that they would just stay at the house. Well, apparently that was the wrong answer, because her Grandma said, “No, you are going with us!” That was the end of the story. Corrie went grocery shopping and Kevin went home.

Corrie’s grandma grew up in a different era. Not the one where dates had to have a chaperone, but you didn’t leave a young couple at a house by themselves. I’m not sure what they thought was different about a house as opposed to a car, or any other place where kids could be alone, but she apparently felt that it was her job to make sure nothing happened. Corrie was old enough to drive, and had driven herself over to their house, so she could have just locked the house and told them to go home, but that didn’t seem appropriate to her, so she made Corrie go grocery shopping, and the kids dutifully obeyed her. If you had ever been grocery shopping with my mother-in-law, you know would that it is a three or four hour ordeal, and Corrie left her car at their house, so she was stuck. I went shopping with her once, and that was enough for me, but that is another story.

The kids never told me about that occurrence, until we were coming back from visiting her in Joann Schulenbergthe nursing home a couple of days ago. My mother-in-law had been talking about Kevin a few days earlier, and with his job, it wasn’t easy for him to get the time to go out there with us, but on this day, he was able to come. With her Alzheimer’s Disease, I wanted to make sure that he understood that even though she had been talking about him, she still might not recognize him. When we got there, I asked her if she knew who all her visitors were, and she looked at him and said, “Yes, Kevin.” Kevin has been in the family longer than any of her other grandchildren-in-law, but I was still surprised. I guess that his respectful handling of that awkward moment twenty two years or so ago, made a good impression on her…that and all the other nice things about Kevin.

18074_1294109120050_430179_nIn a family, you have different personalities. Some people are shy and introverted, and others are not a bit shy and they are very social and outgoing. My niece, Toni falls into the latter category. Not only is Toni outgoing, but she has a wonderful sense of humor. That is probably a really good thing, because a little over a year ago, she married Dave, who can only be classified as a funny man.

On New Years Day, we were gathered at my mom’s house for her birthday party, and Toni was telling us that Dave had started a New Year’s Resolution List…for Toni!! I laughed about that, and asked her how that was working out for her. Of course, the whole thing was a joke, and every time some new thing would come up, Dave would add a new resolution, and Toni would laugh it off and basically wish him good luck, if he ever expected to see that change made. Of course, the changes he was suggesting were silly things like “never argue with your husband” or “don’t be so talkative” or “if you have to whine, pour it from a bottle”. Of course, the actual resolutions could be different, because I don’t recall just exactly what they were, but it was pretty funny.

It was all in good clean fun, and of course, Dave never expected to have her change anything. It’s just typical of the kind of jokes that go on in their house. I got such a kick out of it though. In fact, I told Toni that she needs to start Dave’s New Year’s Resolution list, after all, turn about is fair play. And if I know Toni, she will figure out a way to get even with Dave, but then 180697_1773301939571_3975539_nhe would be disappointed if she didn’t. They have the kind of relationship that is filled with lots of funny and humorous times.

All kidding aside, Toni is a sweet person who loves to laugh, and that can never be a bad thing. And she doesn’t mind laughing at herself either. I read on Facebook today, “If you can’t laugh at yourself, I’ll do it for you!” I can see that being the attitude both Toni and Dave have about each other. They just don’t take a joke personally. They are good friends, and that is what makes it work. Today is Toni’s birthday. Happy birthday Toni!! Have a great day!! We love you…just the way you are. No New Year’s Resolutions needed…hahahaha!!

Lydia Quackenbush Potts SpencerLife is filled with unknowns. Things change everyday…sometimes quite drastically. On January 13, 1883, life for my Great Great Grandmother Spencer, would change forever, when her husband, my Great Great Grandfather Spencer passed away, and she had to make the difficult decision to spread her family among her relatives, not knowing if she would ever see some of them again, much less get to meet her grandchildren. But, just as the tragic loss of her husband changed her life forever, so would the return of her children and their children.

Healing can take place in many ways. It may not feel completely like healing when you are still grieving for your husband, but babies can change your whole view of life, and for a grandmother, they can be like a new lease on life. For my great great grandmother, I think that is exactly what happened. Her daughter Teressa, who had gone to Rushville, Nebraska, while her mother and two brothers had gone to Oklahoma, her older sister had taken another brother to Washington state, and her older brother was living in Wisconsin with his family, soon married and started a family of her own. Teressa and her husband, Martin Luther Cox, would go on to raise nine children on their ranch near Rushville, Nebraska. Nine babies over the years…that had to be a Lydia Spencer, and daughter Teressa's familyreally wonderful blessing for her grandmother’s heart. Those babies could never replace the husband she had lost, but she could rejoice in them…even while she was wishing that her husband could have been there to see it too.

That life change that had torn the family apart, still held a deep feeling of sadness for my great great grandmother, but she knew that her life was not over, even though it may have felt like it at the time of my great great grandfather’s passing. But God had a different plan for her life. She would never marry again, but her life would be filled with the joys of family. She lived out her years in the home of her son Luther’s family, and got to be around those grandchildren all the time. She received visits, and I’m sure went on visits to her other children and those grandchildren, and in the end, her life was renewed with joy again.

Lucas 2 year oldThe excitement of having a baby is hard to contain. But, finding out that something is wrong is so completely opposite of that excitement, that it has the ability to make you feel like you are dying, even though you have none of the symptoms of impending death. Those feelings come from the unsure future that you and your baby now face. Your thoughts turn to wondering how you are going to deal with all these new challenges. This is where the parents of a child suspected of having Down’s Syndrome, or any other disability find themselves…and where my niece, Cassie and her husband, Chris found themselves two years ago…and Down’s Syndrome was what little baby Lucas was diagnosed with. I’m sure that Cassie and Chris felt all the normal fears, but they bounced right back and have proven themselves to be very capable parents. Lucas is a blessed little boy!

I suppose that you might think that this is a sad story of shattered hopes and dreams, but Baby boy kissesyou couldn’t be more wrong, because Down’s Syndrome is what Lucas has…not who he is. There is no room for sadness in the home that Lucas shares with his mommy and daddy, because Lucas is a happy, smiling baby, who leaves no room for sadness or regret over what might have been. Lucas loves with all he has, and brings so much joy to his parents’ lives, that they simply can’t see how they could be any happier.

There is no sadness in this family because of Down’s Syndrome, because that is just not what defines Lucas. Instead, there are giggles and smiles. There are all the firsts that every baby has…first tooth, first time crawling, sitting up, and so many other milestones. It may take Lucas longer to do these things, but he will do them. There is nothing holding him back. People with Down’s Syndrome can and do live very productive lives.
Daddy's boy
There is no room for sadness in the home where Lucas and his parents live…because it is too full of love for sadness to have any space at all. Sometimes, people think that the parents of a disabled child are always thinking of their hopes and dreams, now all crushed into the dirt, but that just isn’t so. Lucas is making new strides every day. His future is as bright as his smile, that is filled with new little teeth. There is nothing standing in the way of success and a happy life for him and his parents. Today is little Lucas’ 2nd birthday. Happy birthday little man!! Have a wonderful day!! We love you!!

Mike StevensMy sister, Alena and her husband, Mike have been planning some renovations and upgrades on their bathroom. They have been planning this project for a while now, but they weren’t ready to begin just yet. The plan was to renovate the bathroom during the summer when they have a little more time. Unfortunately, the best laid plans sometimes go awry, and that is exactly what happened in this case. The bathroom had a different idea.  In November, the pipes sprung a leak. To repair the pipe leak when they were going to have to remove the repaired area again so soon seemed like such a waste of time and money.

At his point many people would have resigned themselves to what seemed the inevitable, but not my brother-in-law, Mike. He has always been a problem solver, and is used to having to make repairs to different things on the spur of the moment. Sometimes, that means rigging things to make the repair, using unconventional methods and unconventional parts.

Mike set out to make a temporary repair to the broken pipe. He cut the bottom and top out of a couple of beer cans. Then he cut the side of the can and wrapped it around the pipe. Then Mike put a layer of silicone to make sure there would be no leaks. Then he used tie straps to hold the cans in place. The idea worked, and the repairs held…and they held until now, when they are ready to do the remodeling!! The seemingly Beer Can Repair Jobinevitable costly repairs were avoided. 

Now, if you ask his kids, the repairs were…original to say the least. In fact, one of his daughters, Lacey said, “Can you say Redneck?” We both laughed about that one, and I guess she or one of her siblings, Michelle or Garrett must have also mentioned the word Redneck, because Alena quickly came to Mikes rescue when she said, “You might call it Redneck, but I call it Genius!” While the repairs to look unconventional, I would have to agree with Alena, it is pretty genius. Another job well done and it didn’t cost a dime. Today is Mike’s birthday. Happy birthday Mike!! Have a great day!! We love you!!

Stephanie and MichaelFor many years, I had lost contact with my cousin, Greg’s daughter, Stephanie. She was always such a sweet little girl, so it saddened me that most of the family didn’t get to know her as an adult. Then Facebook came along. I have been so blessed to re-connect with so many family members, near and far away.  A while back Stephanie, who lives in South Carolina, talked her dad into getting a Facebook page so they could keep in touch better. It was that request that connected me with Greg, and subsequently with Stephanie and her husband, Michael. It is a reunion that I feel blessed to have been granted.

I have very much enjoyed getting to know Stephanie and Michael, who are both fun loving and easy going people. As with any new relationship, there was a…tense moment, when I thought we might be having a tiff, only to find out that like me, they enjoy a good debate, and simply don’t take offense at differences of opinion. Now those are my kind of people.

Stephanie and Michael have two wonderful children, Kathleen (Katie) and Michael III (Will), who are as cute as they can be, and the apple of their grandpa’s eye. His only wish would be that he could see them more often, but since he lives in Idaho and they are in South Carolina, that isn’t easy. Enter Facebook again…and so many people think Facebook is a waste of time. I just don’t agree, and I doubt Greg does either.Michael's Graduation

A while back, Michael went back to school to earn his degree. His family stood behind him in his journey, and as he said, “I love you and thank you for being there no matter what. Kathleen and Will thank yall for constantly reminding me that every thing isn’t always so serious and sometimes I just need to take a step back, make a silly face, and have a good laugh.” Good advise if you ask me, and it seems to have worked. Michael graduated from Trident Technical College on May 3, 2013.

It looks like this little family is on their way to amazingly good times ahead. And it’s not like the past was anything bad either. Today is Stephanie and Michael’s 10th Wedding Anniversary. Happy Anniversary to two wonderful people!! Have a great day, and may you have many more anniversaries in your future!!

Jacob Vincent Harman_editedFrom the moment his sister, Siara was born, my grand nephew, Jake became her protector. It didn’t matter if someone was bullying her or simply teasing her, Jake took it upon himself to make it right. That’s the kind of guy he is. When Siara was little, she hated to eat anything that was broken. Her dad thought this was hillarious, and so when her mom, my niece, Chantel, gave the kids a Little Debbie snack cake, her dad would flick the cake, breaking the frosting before giving it to her. Siara would fall to her knees and wail mournfully, “It’s broken!!” Even though Jake was only 5 or 6 years old, he would quickly say, “It’s ok CC, lets trade!” Immediately the situation was all better. After, his parents’ divorce, Jake became the man of the house…a role he had practiced for all his little life. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for his sister.

Growing up in a home without a dad, Jake had to deal with the influence of a single mom and a Siara and Jakesister. We all know that the driver of the car gets to pick the radio station. so in the mornings, Jake had to listen to the music his mom liked. Chantel liked to make sure the day started out with everyone in a good mood, so singing on the way to school…to Chantel’s favorite songs…was the way the drive went. To this day, Jake knows every word of Shania Twain’s “I Feel Like A Woman” and Jake..in typical Jake style says, “Hey, I was raised by a single mom, and I have a sister. Don’t judge!” I say it takes a man who is comfortable in his own skin to be able to say I sang that with my mom and sister, and I have no regrets.

When Chantel’s current husband came into their lives, Jake just wasn’t sure he wanted to trust another man in the house again. He tried so hard not to like Dave, even telling Chantel that Dave looked like a serial killer…a statement as far from what Dave is like as the Earth is from the Sun…but Dave was very different than Jake’s real dad, and he soon won Jake’s respect, and more importantly his heart. Three weeks later, Jake asked if he could call Dave…Dad. Jake’s days of having to carry the load of being the man of the house alone, were over.

Still, there was the Siara issue, and as Chantel says, “The door swings both ways.” OneChantel and Dave_edited day, before Dave was a true member of their family, Jake in normal kid style, pushed his sister down on their trampoline. Apparently, it’s ok for Jake to pick on his sister. Since Dave was in the back yard, Siara did the logical thing and told on Jake. Dave went to the trampoline and jerked Jake to the edge so that he could tell him never to push his sister again, but before Dave to say a word, Chantel tells me that he saw a little blond vapor trail and heard the slamming of the screen door as Siara ran into the house to tell Chantel, “Mom!!! Dave is hurting Jake!!” It just goes to show you that while siblings might pick on each other, no one else gets to pick on their sibling. Today is Jake’s birthday. Happy birthday Jake!! Have a wonderful day!!

You know one…that person who can keep a straight face while telling you a complete lie. No, I’m not talking about a malicious lie, but that joking thing, where they tell you some wild tale and by the time they are done, and their face hasn’t exploded into laughter, you find yourself actually believing them. Then you say something like…”Really!!” And the look on their face tells you that you were just caught…again.  In our family, that person is my son-in-law, Kevin. I can’t tell you how many times I have been caught in his trap, and then he proceeds to laugh and laugh. You can just see the delight dancing in his eyes.

Most people are more like me, I suppose. Sometimes they can keep a straight face, and sometimes it is impossible. My husband, Bob is pretty much the opposite of Kevin. If what he is saying isn’t true, he laughs every time. He would love to be able to keep a straight face, and make the joke work, but it just doesn’t happen. I suppose it is a matter of being able to control certain emotions, and if that is the case, then Bob must not be able to control his funny bone, because if it is remotely funny…even if the punch line hasn’t been given yet…Bob has to laugh about it.

I know that Bob wishes he could be more like Kevin in that way, because he would love to be able to put one over on people, and in a lot of ways I would love to be more like Kevin too, because I can only hold back sometimes…or for a little while. Then I can’t help but laugh. That’s how my girls are too. It isn’t a matter of self control exactly, but rather laugh control, and facial muscle control. Either you have that control or you don’t I guess. Kevin is one of those people who can hold it back until just the right moment, and then, when he’s got you…that’s when, he really gets a good laugh, and you simply have no choice but to laugh too, because, it’s never malicious…it hilarious!!

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