Me
Since 1995, Bob and I have loved hiking. At times we could not do much hiking, because we had important responsibilities elsewhere, but as much as we have been able, we have hiked. I have a treasure trove of pictures from our various hikes. They are all beautiful, and I wouldn’t trade a single one of them. They are the memories of those amazing times that we have been able to spend together. The peacefulness of those hikes cannot be copied in any indoor setting…nor would I want to. The fresh air, the birds and animals, the quiet, and the push on our bodies, all add to the feeling we get from our hikes.
Many of the pictures I have taken over the years, while wonderful, were not of the quality I had wanted. They were taken with my phone, and while they were great shots, I still could not get that elusive shot of landscape or wildlife. I knew I would need a better camera, but I hesitated because of both cost and bulkiness. Nevertheless, that elusive shot was always in the back of my mind, especially when it came to wildlife. I wanted to be able to get a shot of an animal or bird that looked like I was standing right there, next to it, and that was impossible with my phone…even though it is an iPhone and has a great camera…along with the dozens of apps I had tried, in search of just such a camera.
This year I decided that the time had arrived to get the camera that would do what I wanted it to do. It’s not the most expensive camera, but it has a couple of good lenses, and it takes good, high resolution pictures. I had played with it a little bit at home, but this vacation was going to really put it to the test. My hope was to finally get the kind of pictures that would be award winning…whether I ever entered them in a contest or not. With each hike we have taken my appreciation of this new camera has grown.
I have three more days of hiking and picture taking ahead of me before we head for home, and the possibilities are endless. I could potentially take some amazing pictures, and any 
one of them could be better than any I have ever taken. Still, I have to think that while the pictures I took of the Red Winged Blackbird were…less than amazing, the picture of the Downy Woodpecker, which was the first of those elusive shots, has more than made up for it. Yes, the pictures of us on the trails are great, and the bridge on the trail is very quaint, but it is the Downy Woodpecker that finally got me that elusive shot.
Few things change your life more that the entrance of a child into it. Whether it is your own baby, or your grandbaby…it makes no difference. Each one changes everything, but the first…well, that is a different thing. When my first daughter, Corrie came into this world on June 30, 1975, it would change many lives. Parents who weren’t parents before, now were. Grandparents who weren’t grandparents before, now were. And aunts and an uncle who weren’t aunts or an uncle before, now were. Things would never be the same again. You simply have no idea how much a child changes things, until you have one.
Corrie’s entrance was exciting for so many people, in both of our families, but Bob’s family hadn’t had babies by any of the children yet, so she was a 
first, and that is why it was such a life changing event. Of course, Corrie’s great grandmother was probably the most excited, because Corrie was born on her birthday. Still, there is just something about a grandpa’s first grandchild that makes that event very hard to top. My father-in-law was so excited to be a grandpa. In many ways he reminds me of how much I wanted to be a grandma…a fact to which my girls can attest. My father-in-law is so much like Bob with babies and little kids. Those little ones steal their heart, and they never get it back. They are gone on those babies, and I think that first one was quite a surprise. Men sometimes don’t realize how much they can be impacted by such a little teeny baby, but I think my father-in-law was just like me when my grandbabies arrived. He knew that he would be wrapped around that little girl’s baby finger for the rest of his life, and that…was just fine.
Bob was probably the one who surprised me the most, although I don’t know why. I guess 
going from being my boyfriend to husband to the father of my children, was something that my mind couldn’t wrap itself around where he was concerned. Bob went from being a strong, tough guy, kind of person to being so totally gone on his daughter, that I couldn’t believe it. The look on his face when he held Corrie was so soft…so loving…so amazed. I knew in that moment that he, like me, was forever changed by the entrance of this little tiny girl. It truly was a life changing event. Today is Corrie’s birthday, and while she is a mom now herself, and has twice made us grandparents, she will always be our baby. Happy birthday Corrie!! Have a wonderful day!! We love you very much!!
I have always thought that my Aunt Virginia was glamorous. It wasn’t that she lead a rich type of life or was a model or anything, I just thought she could have been. She was always beautiful, and dressed in pretty clothes. Even in a simple pair of shorts, she managed to look glamorous. I guess that as a little girl, you could say I always kind of wanted to be just like my Aunt Virginia. Of course, little girls always have people they look up to, but we have to make our own lives.
Aunt Virginia is my mom’s older sister. She is the second born of my grandparents’ nine children. I’m sure that was a very big responsibility. In any family, the older kids help with the younger kids. That said, you can imagine the experience Aunt Virginia had when it came to babies, and little kids. She helped with seven younger siblings. I was also the second born, but I only helped with three younger sisters. Nevertheless, I had plenty of experience, and when it came time for me to have my own kids…well, lets just say I knew how to handle babies, as well as little kids. I’d been around it all my life.
As I said, Aunt Virginia was my mom’s older sister, and I’m sure she watched out for her whenever she could. As kids get older, their siblings become friends. That was also the case for my mom and my Aunt Virginia. In fact, they were such good friends, that it was Aunt Virginia who introduced my mom to my dad. Now, you might be thinking that was a 
very nice thing for her to do, and I would have to agree with you on that one. I mean, when you think about it, without my Aunt Virginia, where would my sisters and I be. I suppose you could say that my mother still would have had children, whether she married my dad or not, but those kids would not have been me or my sisters. I guess you could say that we very much owe our lives to Aunt Virginia.
Today is Aunt Virginia’s birthday. I can’t think of a better time to tell her thank you for introducing my parents, so we could be her nieces. I can’t think of a nicer way to become someone’s niece. Happy birthday Aunt Virginia!! I hope you have a wonderful day!! We love you very much!!
For the past seven and a half years, my life has been largely defined by a series of responsibilities known as caregiving. For anyone who has ever been a caregiver, even for a short time, it is easy to understand what that entails, and what it means in the lives of those involved. Caregiving is not a job that usually becomes less demanding as time goes by, although that is not an impossibility. While caregiving is not an easy job, I can tell you from my personal experience that it is a very rewarding job. It is one that places you in a battle for life…or at least a battle to prolong life. While it is rarely a battle you can win in the end, you do win in that those final years are made more comfortable for the patient, and filled with the knowledge that you love that person so much that you are willing to make this sacrifice for them.
Now, after the passing of my dad, the recovery of my mom, the necessity of placing my mother-in-law in a nursing home, because Alzheimer’s Disease no longer allows her to stay at home, and the passing of my father-in-law, I find myself no longer in the position of being a full time caregiver. Yes, I still have minimal responsibilities with my mom and mother-in-law, like doctors appointments and visits with them, which are very important to their emotional well being, but the main responsibilities belong to others or are no longer necessary. So, I find myself wondering what do I do now that I am not a caregiver? What is life supposed to be like now? This has been who I was for so long. It was even all I talked about sometimes, as many of my family members can attest to.
A part of me is still very tired. At times during the day, I feel like I could sleep for a month, and yet, I have trouble getting to sleep at night. A part of me is ready to get back out on the trails…walking and breathing in the fresh air, and yet a part of me feels like I just want to sit and do nothing. Maybe it’s an emptiness because of no longer being needed as much as before. It seems like concentrating is very difficult…unless it’s about why we lost the battle for life, or what we might have done differently.
I know that I will get used to having more time again. And as with my dad’s passing, I will come to know that you don’t get over it…you just get on with it. I will get used to not being a caregiver, but I know too, that I will never be the same person I was before. I can’t be. I have seen too much…learned too 
much…felt too much…know too much, to ever be the same person I was before. I have experienced the adrenalin rush needed to hold myself together during life threatening illnesses reaching emergency levels, and making the decisions necessary to treat loved ones who can’t speak for themselves. I have held their very lives in my hands, and been responsible for trying to bring them back. And, I have lost that battle…twice. I will recover from caregiving and I will get on with it, but I will never be the same. I don’t think it is a bad thing, and I would not change any of it, except the loss of my dads, but while I would do it all again, I know that I have been forever changed by this experience.
My cousin, Bill and his brother, Jim were always such fun to be around when we were kids. My sisters and I had no brothers, so there were times when those boys were a little surprising to us. Boys are just very different than girls. Those two loved to try to scare us with ghost stories when we would sleep out in the bus they went camping in. It didn’t take too long for us girls to think maybe we should have slept in the house, but it was all in good fun, and we did survive those nights, after all, so I guess it wasn’t all bad. Most of the time those two boys were just a couple of funny guys. What one didn’t think of, the other one did. We had such fun times with them, when we were kids.
Unfortunately, as time goes by, cousins sometimes end up seeing less and less of each other, mostly due in this case to distance, but also because of busy lives. We kept in touch by mail, and pictures, but didn’t get to see each other like we used to as kids. It is always a sad thing to loose touch with those you love. Nevertheless, as sometimes happens, time can come full circle and that is what happened in this case. Sadly the reason for the reconnection was the age and failing health of our dad’s, but Bill and his family brought his dad, my Uncle Bill out to see my dad, Uncle Bill’s brother. It was a blessed visit in every way. The two brothers had one last chance to be together and relive old memories. It was 
an act of kindness that will never be forgotten.
Bill is a family man, who loves his wife and daughter, and is totally involved in his daughter’s activities. He and his wife, Maureen keep us up to date on things that are going on back in Wisconsin, especially with Kristin, who has turned into a lovely girl…a tribute to her parents.
I wish the miles didn’t separate our families so much. It would be nice to be able to see them more often. Today is Bill’s birthday. Happy birthday Bill!! Have a wonderful day!! We love you!!
Today is my birthday. The last few days, I have been reflecting on my birthday, and my dad’s birthday just two days before mine, and how much I miss him, and what my parents mean to me. Your parents give you so much, as a baby. They supply everything you need, like food clothing, warmth, love…eveything. But before that, there was something more they did. It was something even greater…the greatest gift. They gave you life. How do you thank them for that? Oh, I know, my parents had me and my sisters, because they wanted a family, but it was their desire for a family that gave me life. It was likely something they gave little thought to…that this was a gift to me, but that is exactly what if feels like to me. The greatest gift.
When I arrived I was nurtured by my mom and dad. When I came home, I met my sister Cheryl, who loved me very much. Like me, she had been given the greatest gift our parents could give us…the gift of life. Because we lived so far away from my mom’s family then, my grandparents made the trip from Casper, Wyoming to Superior, Wisconsin to visit us, and share in the joy of our growing little family. Cheryl and I felt so blessed to have the happiest life there could possibly be. She and I played in our little world, mostly just the two of us, but also with our cousin, Pam, for the next three years in Superior, Wisconsin.
Our family moved back to Casper, where my sister, Caryl was added to our family, 3 years 
after I was born. Then two years later, Alena, and two years after that, Allyn. Each of us had been given the same greatest gift from our parents. And along with that greatest gift, they had also given us another second greatest gift…the gift of siblings. My parents and my sisters have always been so dear to me. Our family has always been very close, and as it continues to grow, more and more blessings are added. With each new family member, by birth or by marriage, the greatest gift, keeps on giving. So today, on the anniversary of my birth, I want to thank my parents for giving me life. Your gift was so precious and loving…the greatest gift…ever.
As I started up the walk to my house today, two birds, who were chasing each other buzzed by my head. They were so busy with their play…or was it an argument, that they didn’t even notice me, as they flew very close to my head. I have always liked watching the birds in all their activities, but have normally had very little real contact with them. And while I find it fascinating to watch them playing chase, I’m not sure I really want them to be buzzing my head, or dive bombing me.
I watched as the birds flew here and there, chirping and chattering, and I occurred to me that they were probably having a little argument, and if the one bird caught the other…well, someone was going to be sorry they said or did what they did. I guess things in the animal kingdom must be similar to things in our world, because when you get in trouble, you have to pay the consequences in both.
The thing was that these two birds didn’t seem like parent and child, so I figured that this was an argument between two adults, whether they were male and female, or two males fighting over a female. It is, if course something I will never know, nor will I know if they were fighting or playing. It was a chance encounter with the animal kingdom that will likely not happen again.
I suppose that when we live in the same world space as the animals, these encounters are going to happen once in a while. One or the other of us, or even both, simply aren’t paying a lot of attention to those around them. Like most of us, when we are in an argument, they pay very little attention to anything but the argument. That is exactly what those birds were doing. I might not have even been in the area for all they noticed. They were simply too busy chasing each other.
I’m not a wind lover. In fact, most of the time the wind annoys me, but there are things that actually require the wind to accomplish their goal. I remember as a kid, trying to fly a kite a few times. I was never very good at it, which is probably why I didn’t do it very much. Nevertheless, I love watching someone, who knows how, fly a kite. There is just something about watching that kite floating effortlessly on air…provided I don’t necessarily have to be sitting outside in the wind when all that is going on. Watching from my car or my window works just fine for me. One of my favorite times to watch kite flying is when it is a little kid trying to do it. Their little legs just don’t go fast enough to get the kite in the air, but the have a really great time trying…at least for a while. Then they get frustrated, just like everyone else, and if you don’t help them get that kite in the air, they are pretty much over 
the whole thing.
I love watching the birds on a windy day. What we consider an annoyance, they look at as the perfect way to play. They spread their wings and head into the wind. The wind holds them in place, without even having to try to fly. And they can stay there like that for quite a while. It seems so effortless, and yet, it might be a lot of work for them for all we know. Nevertheless, to see a bird in hover mode is as cool as watching them soar into the wind in playful flight. Here in Casper, we have some pigeons that fly around in the downtown area. I know that the downtown merchants don’t really like them much, because of the mess they leave, but if you sit down for just a few minutes and watch them dip and soar, always in a group, always of one accord, always beautiful, you will find yourself having a hard time faulting them for the mess…or at least that’s how I feel.
For me personally, a windy day is such an annoyance. It messes up my hair, and believe me, there is not enough hair spray on the planet, instant freeze or otherwise, to make your hair stay in place on a windy day. Still, the kid me remembers wearing a jacket out on a windy day, and lifting it above my head to make a sail, and letting the wind pull me out into it a little. It makes me feel just a little bit like a bird or maybe a kite, and reminds me that even the wind has its good points, few as they may be. Maybe I should give that whole jacket sailing thing a try again sometime…I mean, maybe floating on air would lend a little bit of freedom to an otherwise responsibility filled life.
Bob and I have reached another almost unheard of landmark in our marriage…38 years together. Of course, at this point in our marriage, we reach another almost unheard of landmark every year. It’s not that we are the only ones to ever reach this landmark, and in fact, I know several other people who have reached this one and beyond. It is simply that in a world where marriages have almost become disposable, those of us who manage to endure are rather rare.
When people have been married a long time, it seems like everyone wants to know what they attribute their marital success to, and everyone has some profound way that they managed such an amazing feat. Personally, I don’t think there is really any such thing as a perfect formula. Every marriage is different, the two people in the marriage are different, and the circumstances are different. What might work to keep one couple together, might just tear another couple apart. Therefore, I simply choose to say that by the grace of God we are still together. We aren’t perfect, but God loves us, and he has helped us through the difficult times and brought us to this place.
Through the years, we have been blessed with 2 daughters, Corrie and Amy, and their husbands, Kevin and Travis, and their children Chris, Shai, Caalab, and Josh. Our lives have been filled with much happiness, and a few sad times, but then we all go through loss and sadness. Nevertheless, we managed to cling to each other during the sad times, and rejoice together during the happy times. And we have worked together during the times when it was necessary to pull together to achieve the important goals. We have cared for our children, helped with our grandchildren, and now, we are caring for our parents. Yes, sometimes the work was very hard, and it seemed like we would not win against sickness or disease, but again, by the grace of God, we were able to pull through and not only do the things we needed to do, but have victory after victory along the way. There is such sweet victory when God guides your path, especially in caring for others.
No one knows where the road will go from here, and what new challenges the journey might bring. What we do know is that because of God’s help, we will be together through our remaining years, and every day will bless us more, because every day in the Lord is sweeter than the day before. I can’t tell you any perfect formula for making marriage last, but I can tell you that for me God’s grace and patient leading, His son Jesus’ sacrifice in my place, and His comforting Spirit are the only way we could possible have managed such a feat, because with out God, I know we probably would have failed. So I give God all the glory, all the honor, and all the praise, and I thank He each and every day for the wonderful man He gave me to walk the paths of this earth with. What a blessing Bob has been to me. I love you Bob, and I thank God for you every day.
As our 38th wedding anniversary approaches, I am reminded of the flurry of activity that was going on about this time in the planning stages of the ceremony. My wedding gown, which was made by my grandmother was finished, and it was beautiful. The rice bags were ready, and the flowers had been ordered. My cake, made by my Aunt Evelyn was ready, except for the final touches as it was placed on the reception table. Everything was coming together perfectly. We had only a few more days to wait until our wedding day arrived. My mind was filled with excitement, and my heart was filled with happiness.
My three younger sisters, Caryl, Alena, and Allyn, were going to sing at our wedding, and they had been practicing, and a little praying, that their part would turn out perfectly. The song I had chosen was called, “O Perfect Love” and I couldn’t imagine a better song for the love Bob and I had, and still have. Their voices blending in harmony as they practiced their song, were beautiful. I was amazed at how well, these my little sisters, only 15, 13, and 11 years old, could sing. Sometimes, the age of the voice doesn’t really matter, it is the pure, crystal clear beauty of the voice that matters.
That is what my sisters had…pure, angelic voices. I was so pleased that they were going to be singing at our wedding, and the song they were going to sing was so beautiful. I can still hear every word…every note, as the girls sang that song for me and my husband. It was like they were singing a prayer over our marriage. It was not just a popular song of the times, it was a hymn. It was, and is the most beautiful wedding song I have ever heard, and it was sung for Bob and me by the three angelic voices of my little sisters. Thank you Caryl, Alena, and Allyn, for your beautiful contribution to our wedding day. I love you all.
O Perfect Love
O perfect Love, all human thought transcending,
lowly we kneel in prayer before thy throne,
that theirs may be the love which knows no ending,
whom thou forevermore dost join in one.
O perfect Life, be thou their full assurance,
of tender charity and steadfast faith,
of patient hope and quiet, brave endurance,
with childlike trust that fears nor pain nor death.
Grant them the joy which brightens earthly sorrow;
grant them the peace which calms all earthly strife,
and to life’s day the glorious unknown morrow
that dawns upon eternal love and life.
