Grandchildren

Sometimes, it hits me that my children are grown and my grandchildren are growing up…very quickly…too quickly. They are almost grown up now. I look at the pictures of them as children, especially on days like Christmas, birthdays, and Halloween. There was such excitement in the air, with the anticipation of the day’s events, that they could barely control themselves. Even the parents were excited, though few of us would admit it then. Looking back at the little kids they were, makes me think of the young adults they are quickly becoming.

They no longer dress up for Halloween, and even might be working that night now, which is something that kind of makes me a little sad. They were so cute in their little costumes. They might be a pirate, or ninja, a mime, or pumpkin, a ladybug, or fireman, Spiderman, or even a lion, but it was not the costume that mattered, because they were our little trick or treaters, and they were the absolute cutest ones ever. They couldn’t wait for the time to arrive to go out and do the one thing Halloween is all about…getting candy. They were practically jumping up and down with anticipation. Dinner simply couldn’t get over fast enough, and in all reality, they didn’t want to fill up on food anyway, even though their parents don’t want them to fill up on candy! You knew there was going to be a huge difference of opinion there. Finally, the time arrived, and you were off.

Today’s, and even in my girl’s day, trick or treating must be more limited. When I was a kid, Dad took us all over the area around our house. We went for blocks and blocks. You didn’t have to worry about the candy you got, or have it x-rayed, in fact no had even heard of such a thing back then. No, we just collected enough candy to last us easily until Christmas…thought it never did. It was a great time.

Sometimes, I wish time did not have to pass so quickly, because those days are gone forever, and now so are the days of my grandchildren trick or treating. I wish I could go back there sometimes. That said, however, as it is with life, the next generation is right around the corner. Before we know it, these kids, now young adults, will be married and having children of their own, and the next generation of the cutest trick or treaters ever will be upon us.

When my granddaughter, Shai was a little girl, she was…well, a Drama Queen, as I think I have told you before. Many teenaged girls turn into Drama Queens for a time, but this was pretty much instantaneous for Shai. If you startled her, she came unglued. If you put her to bed, she came unglued. She had to be rocked to sleep, in order for Amy to get any peace during the day. Now, this wasn’t totally her fault, as some babies just startle easier than others, and of course, rocking her to sleep was so wonderful, that we all spoiled her in that arena, as well as plenty of rocking for her cousin Christopher.

Nevertheless, like her Grandma, Miss Shai did not like bugs…of any kind!!! With the possible exception of the lady bug. So, if she was playing, and she happened to see a bug, her instant reaction was to scream, “Budge…budge!!!”” This was her pronunciation of the word bug. I can understand her reaction, as I have been known to freak out about a bug my self. Even the tiniest spider, has the ability to make me cringe, as both my husband and my boss can tell you. Killing bugs…is simply not in my job description at home or at work!!! And I don’t think it is in Shai’s job description to this day either.

It’s funny that certain bugs don’t seem to bother us quite as much as others. I don’t mind Lady Bugs, and I don’t think Shai does either, and in the arena of other animals or insects, I love butterflies, but they really need to keep their distance, and yet I don’t mind if a Hummingbird tries to dive bomb me. Odd, I know, but that is just the way it is. I think that is another area that Shai and I agree on. One day she had a Hummingbird fly up to her shirt that happened to have a great big pink flower on it. She didn’t seem to be bothered by this little bird who obviously thought she was Hummingbird Feeder. She simply stood there until he realized that he was trying to eat from the wrong flower, and flew away, which of course took only a matter of seconds. I’m not sure what she would have done if he took longer. My guess is that she would have started screaming, “Budge!!! Budge!!”, and Amy would have had to rescue her from the horrible monster that she thought was her friend. I’m glad that was not the case. By the time she realized that the Hummingbird was that close, he was already gone.

Recently, our office won a trip to Denver to attend a Rockies Game. The trip was mostly paid for by Safeco Insurance. It was a contest, and our office won be selling almost double what second place sold. The trip was much needed by all of us, as our office and our lives have been very busy lately. Amy’s husband Travis was not able to join us, so my grandson, Caalab came along. Amy and Caalab had never been to a professional baseball game, so for them this would be a special treat. Bob and I go to a Rockies game every year, and it never gets old.

Bob and I came down a day early, and Amy and Caalab came down with Jim and Julie, my boss and his wife. When they arrived, we wanted to take them to do some fun things. Our first stop was the Cherry Creek Mall, where both Amy and Caalab got their very first Cinnabon cinnamon roll. Amy doesn’t like sweets most of the time, but this…well, this was different. She and Caalab both loved them, but then I knew they would. Our next stop was to the Hard Rock Cafe, which is another place Caalab had not been before. Caalab loves the guitar, so this was a place that would hold a special interest for Caalab. We walked around and looked at all the memorabilia and of course, Caalab bought some guitar picks. Then we headed for the room to get ready for the main event…the Rockies game.

We has a great time at the game, with seats near the dugout. Several foul balls headed our way, but unfortunately…or maybe fortunately…none of them came to our seats, because, while Caalab, or even Bob or Jim, might have tried to get it, I’m quite sure the rest of us would have ducked, screaming, because as far as we were concerned, that is a missile coming at us, and I, for one don’t want to break a nail. Not that I’m a wimp or anything, but I’m not crazy either. Unfortunately, the Rockies lost, but they played a great game, and we had a wonderful time. Thanks to Safeco, and Jim and Julie.

When he first arrived on September 9, 1998, 5 weeks early, Josh had to be flown to Denver because his lungs were under-developed. That was just about the last time Josh would be weak in any way. Josh quickly grew into an eating machine, wanting a treat every time he walked into my house. The first words out of his mouth were, “Treat, Grandma…treat!!” I had to make sure I had granola bars or fruit roll-ups, because that boy was hungry!!! And the really strange thing is that to this day, he can eat and eat, and still be a skinny little kid. Today, Josh is a great big 14 year old boy, but he’s still slim. I don’t know how he does it, but he does!

We went up on the mountain yesterday to celebrate Josh and his dad, my son-in-law, Kevin’s birthday. They wanted to have their party on the mountain. They love to camp, and so Josh couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate his birthday. They have had a great weekend, and in the middle of it, they got to spend time at their favorite pass time…paintball shooting. And to top it off, we brought them another fighter…Caalab!! Kevin, Chris, Caalab, and Josh had a great time hiding and shooting each other. And as for me, I was just glad that I wasn’t involved in the fighting, because I have a feeling I would have not only lost badly, but I’m pretty sure I would have been the prime target, if I know these guys…and I do.

So much has changed since our premature little Josh arrived, but one thing I can tell you without a doubt is that Josh is a fighter. In the beginning he fought for life, in sports he fights to win, as the youngest he fight for equality, and in paintball, he fights to beat his dad, brother, cousin, and anyone else who wants to take a shot at him. True, all his fighting is in the area of sports these days, but as the youngest, I suspect he will be vying for his superiority for a while yet…not that any of the boys or Kevin will mind that so much. They are a competitive bunch, after all. Who will come out the victor over all lies in the future, but that’s ok. The journey will be fun. Happy birthday Josh!! We love you!!

When the first two of my four grandchildren, Christopher and Shai were little, the spent a lot of time together, since Amy babysat Christopher. While they were best friends, that didn’t stop the competition to be bigger. They kids were born just one day apart, with Christopher being the oldest, so many things were done at the same time or pretty close. These little competitions didn’t cause too many fights for the most part, but once in a while they did. Mostly this was if they both wanted to do the same things, which happened more when they were little. I remember once when the fought over who should sit in Shai’s car seat that had been brought into the house. It looked like Christopher got in first, and Shai didn’t like it, but then we will probably never know, since we didn’t know there was a problem until the screaming started.

They also competed over walking, running, and climbing, each wanting to be the best at it. The good news there, is that they didn’t usually need the exact same space. Side by side worked well when doing that. Mostly they were working to see who could complete the task first, and that first place position went back and forth. Still, the competitions didn’t damage their friendship, which is still very much in tact today. I guess it’s a good thing that those kids don’t carry a grudge over childhood tiffs.

The years have flown by so fast, and the kids are so close to being grown up that I can hardly believe it. The days of competing for top spot are long gone. Their interests are so different from each other that there is no longer a need. I am so proud of the teenagers they have become. They are hard working, and they pay their own normal teenaged bills, like gas, insurance, and car stuff. I can’t believe how fast they have grown up, but I really like the people they have become. I can count on them to help with whatever I might need, and they are great about transporting their siblings around. But the best thing about these kids is that they don’t mind hugging their grandma, even in public, and that means the most to me!! Many teenagers just don’t want to even be seen hugging their grandparents, but these guys are very cool and they show their love for me everyday. I am so blessed!!

Today is the first day of school. Where did the summer go? I know that most parents of school aged kids are very ready for the new school year to begin. Many of the kids are bored and driving their parents crazy. I can understand that, but as a grandmother…who has seen how fast time flies…how quickly children grow up…how soon they are married, I wish time would slow down. My girls are grown and married, and 3 of my grandchildren are in high school, and a 4th in his last year of middle school. How can that be?? Two of my grandchildren are driving, and a third has his permit. The youngest will be 14 years old in September. Where have all the years gone?

As the new school year begins, the kids dread the school work and the early mornings, but a few short years from now, when they are watching their own children go to school, grow up, graduate, and move on with their lives, they will wish they could slow down the time too. To the kids, I say don’t waste a minute of this special time in your lives, wishing it was over. Experience the school activities. Enjoy your young life. The future is coming, and then you will be working, like everyone else. No more summers of relative freedom. No more freedom to spend your money largely as you want to, for when you are on your own, you will have bills to pay, food to buy, insurance, car payments, and school supplies for your kids. You will look back on this time and think, “Man, if I just had that freedom…money…time…those years, back!”

I’m very proud of my girls and my grandkids. They have grown into wonderful people. My girls are among those ready for school to start, and my grandkids are wishing summer was just starting. None of them can totally relate to what I see of the whole situation. They are too close to it in one way or the other. My girls…my babies…are all grown up with almost grown kids of their own, and my grandkids are almost grown too. They should all still be babies, but instead, today they are back in school mode, because, ready or not, we are at Summer’s end!

Last Sunday was my mom’s family’s annual picnic. We have been having these picnics, as well as the annual Christmas party, every year for decades now. We do this as a way to re-connect with family that we don’t get to see very often. It was my grandparents’ wish that we not drift apart when they were gone, and we have worked to do this for them, as well as for all of us. These days it is so easy to lose touch with family, and more and more I find that I don’t want that to be our family’s future. So many people know their aunts, uncles, and cousins, but when it comes to their cousins children and their children, well they hardly know them. I have had the distinct pleasure of getting to know those young people in our family through Facebook friendships, and I want all of you to know that is has been a wonderful experience to get to know each of you. We have a wonderful family, with so many varied ideas and talents, and to miss out on all that…well, it would be a great loss.

I think this year’s attendance was a little better than last year’s, and I think that is due to Facebook. It was a great way to announce the plan to all the family, and get everyone talking about it excitedly. It was fun to see how much the little ones had grown and to see everyone just enjoying the day, which ended up being a little cooler than the heat wave we had been having.

My cousin, Michael had said that we needed to get together for something besides a funeral, since we had 2 within the last year. I agree, and I wish he had been able to be there. Sadly a couple of the regular attendees, Uncle Larry and Uncle Jack left us this year, and their presence was very much missed at this year’s picnic, but I was glad to see Aunt Jeanette and Aunt Bonnie there, and doing ok. As more and more of my aunts and uncles leave us, we will look back on these gatherings with the fondest of memories.

The annual picnic was a wonderful success, as it always is, and I always find myself sorry when it is over. This year, however, I think it will be better, because I am in closer touch with so many of my cousins and their families. I look forward to getting to know each of you better, and hearing about all your little family stories. And who knows, you might find yourself in one of my stories, because…when it comes to my stories, no one is exempt where a story exists.

As my niece, Jessi’s wedding approaches, I am reminded of the important responsibility that is placed on the ring bearer and flower girl.  My own girls each had the opportunity to be flower girls, and at another niece, Machelle’s wedding, my two oldest grandchildren would be given the important job of flower girl and ring bearer. Of course to most of the adults the jobs of flower girl and ring bearer are just a cute little addition to the wedding, but to these kids, it is very important. They feel like they are carrying the wedding to a degree. Whether they get nervous and won’t go on, or feel totally uninhibited and dance down the isle, they bring a special flair to the proceedings. No, it doesn’t top the entrance of the bride, but it brings a flair nevertheless, and what is a wedding without the flower girl and ring bearer?

The flower girl and ring bearer are always cute, of course, but when they’re working very hard at being professional, it is even more fun to watch. When Machelle got married, she asked that Christopher and Shai be in her wedding. My girls were pleased and excited, of course, but they also hoped the kids would do well. I remember that feeling from when Corrie and Amy were flower girls…that, and the other feeling Corrie and Amy had…the one that says, “How can they possibly be grown up enough to be doing this already?” It almost brought tears to their eyes a few times.

The kids did great, as most kids do, and they worked very hard to be professional. Christopher held the pillow very carefully, as if he thought it might break, if he didn’t, and Shai dutifully dropped her flower petals a few at a time. We needn’t have worried. They took this very seriously, and listened to the instructions very carefully, and neither is particularly bashful, so walking past the people in the seats by the isle didn’t even affect them. They were on a mission…they had a goal…they had a job to do, and they did it very well. It was the adults who breathed a sigh of relief when that walk down the isle ended.

I think every child should have the opportunity to take part in a wedding. It doesn’t always happen, of course, but when it does, it is always such an adorable moment…whether the child messed up, made us laugh, or performed just perfectly.

Children love to help. They see the things their parents or grandparents are doing, and they want to do those things too. All too often, the parents or grandparents think the child is too little to help, so they tell them to go play. In my opinion, that is a big mistake. Children can learn to be helpers at very young ages, if given the opportunity, they can become very good at it…maybe even experts.

When my girls were little, they loved helping me with the household chores, and they got very good at making beds, vacuuming floors, washing dishes, washing clothes, and many other household chores. I know everyone teaches their kids to do chores, but when I have told people how young they were, they always seem surprised…like a child that young can’t possibly be trusted with some of the machines my girls used. No, they weren’t 3 years old or anything, when were washing clothes, but they were 7 and 8 years old. And they did it very well.

My nephew, Barry always wanted to help his grandpa. My father-in-law was Barry’s best friend, and if Grandpa was doing something, then that was what Barry wanted to be doing. When a child shows such an interest in something, it is easy to teach them to actually do it. By the time Barry was 5 or 6 years old, he was running a wood splitter with my father-in-law just like an expert. Barry was there to help split wood, when Bob and my brother-in-law, Ron couldn’t be there, either because of work or school, and he proved himself to be invaluable.

When my own grandchildren were 10, 10, 9, and 7 years old, they helped us with the daily care of my dad when he was very ill. They didn’t care what we asked. They were willing to learn, and more importantly, they were willing to do. Today they have gone on to do other things, since they are 16, 16, 15, and 13 years old, but they still know how to be caregivers, and they are still willing to help in whatever way we ask of them.

Children are never too young to learn to be helpers. Sure we have to try to make the jobs we give them be something they can do at their age, but sometimes they will surprise you by being able to do things that are way beyond their years, as was the case with Barry and the splitter when he was 5 or 6 years old, or my granddaughter, Shai when she single handedly took care of my parents all day when they and we could not, and she was only 10 years old, or my grandson Josh, who so completely understands the needs of my in-laws, and who quickly catches on to the new treatments we need his help with, and is so meticulous in the performance of the duties we give him. Children truly are never too young to learn, if we give them a chance.

Nineteen years ago today, our family grew from 4 to 5 with the addition of our son-in-law, Kevin. It’s always a strange feeling to give your daughter away in marriage. No matter how much you love the man who will be her husband, she is still your little girl. You don’t know for sure that this man will be good to your daughter or make her happy. And, as with any marriage, there are no guarantees that it will last. Those are the risks that are involved in any marriage, but when it is your little girl, it just feels different. For the first time in your daughter’s life, she belongs to another person.

Corrie married Kevin just 17 days after her 18th birthday, which made the feeling that we were giving our baby away, even stronger. How could she possibly know if she was in love? What could she possibly know about love, anyway? And what did we really know about this man who was taking our little girl away from us? These were the thoughts that fought their way into my brain as we prepared to give Corrie to Kevin in marriage. The truth was that Corrie and Kevin had dated for 3 years, since her 15th birthday, and they did know each other. They knew their love was real. It was her parents who couldn’t get past the fact that she was grown up now.

As I said, that was nineteen years ago, and the questions have been answered. They are happy. They are in love. They did know what love was and is. Through the years they have proven that over and over. Yes, they were young when they married, but sometimes that doesn’t matter. Sometimes, couples who marry young beat the odds, and they make it. That is what Corrie and Kevin did…they beat the odds.

As for our family…yes, their marriage changed our lives forever. It added a wonderful, loving, caring son-in-law, and 2 amazing grandsons. We grew in numbers, but also is strength. We are better for having added Kevin, Christopher and Joshua. We work together, in good times and bad. We help each other through the tough times and rejoice during the good times. Our family has never been the same, nor can I imagine it without Kevin and the boys in it. Yes, our lives changed dramatically nineteen years ago today…and I wouldn’t go back for anything. Happy 19th wedding anniversary Corrie and Kevin. We love you both (and the boys too, of course) very, very much!!

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