respect

We all have people that we look up to. Someone who inspires us…makes us want to be better than we are now. For me that person is my dad. My dad was the type of person who worked hard every day of his life to give his family the best he could. He sometimes worked two jobs to make ends meet in the tough times, and he never complained. He just took in all in stride. The love he felt for all his girls, my mom, my sisters, and me, was first and foremost on his mind. He was a person we could go to in times of trouble, worry or fear. He never looked at us as if we were being silly or ridiculous, but took our problems seriously, and did his best to help us with whatever it was.

My dad was not a man to cuss or to do anything that displayed a lack of self control. He was very slow to anger and quick to forgive. He hated injustice and even more, he hated disrespect, especially of the rights of other family members. He taught us to be the same, especially stressing that we “never let the sun go down on our wrath” or be quick to forgive and ask for forgiveness. We knew from an early age that to hold a grudge was wrong and only hurt the person who held a grudge. I can’t say that I have never held a grudge, but his words are something I have never forgotten and have tried to live by.

My dad had a kindness about him. He never liked it when people were mean to other people. He didn’t care what faults people had. They were people and should be treated with respect. He taught us to speak respectfully to others, especially our elders, something that we often see sorely lacking in today’s society. He taught us not to judge, because we had no way of knowing the whole story behind someone else’s actions.

There are many ways that I know I have not measured up to what my dad was, nor will I ever be able to. My dad was a rare breed. A gentleman in a time when they often didn’t exist. Kind when the style was to ridicule and tease others. Loving, when I was being rude, insesenitive, and unloveable. And mostly a friend and helper in time of need, but always, always a dad, who could be counted on in every way a dad should be able to be counted on. A dad who is there to guide, protect, teach, and nurture his children. I really miss that…love you Dad!!

Corrie met Kevin when she was just 14 years old. They worked together at Burger King, and she was not allowed to date until she was 15. I made an exception and let her go out a day or so early, because he wanted her to meet his brother, who was moving. Little did I know what would come of this relationship. You never expect your daughter to marry the first man she dates, but that is what happened. It was love at first sight, and it has never changed.

Their relationship quickly progressed into a deep love and respect. They were mature about the proper way of doing things. I attributed that to the fact that Kevin at 4 years older than Corrie and out of high school at the time, didn’t feel the need to act like a high school boy. They did do many of the high school things, so that she wouldn’t miss out, such as prom, co-ed ball, and other activities. Since they had both attended the same high school, and he was just out of high school when they met, they shared a loyalty to the school, which I’m sure helped some, but Kevin is very thoughtful, and he didn’t want her to regret that she didn’t do the high school activities.

After several years of dating, I began to realize that these kids were serious about each other. They were so young, but I had to admit that I liked Kevin, and he and Corrie seemed so right for each other. Their relationship worked. Still, I wondered how a relationship that started out with two people so young and one, my daughter, very young, could manage to last, but I was delightfully surprised at how they have lived their lives. They have been loyal and faithful to each other, and have stayed very much in love.

Kevin asked Corrie to marry him on her 17th birthday, and they were married 17 days after her 18th birthday. That was 18 years ago, and they are still very much in love. Their marriage has been blessed with two wonderful sons, Christopher and Joshua. While no marriage is without its tougher times, they weathered the harder times together, and came out stronger than ever.

It is a rare thing indeed, for a relationship that began when one of its parties is 14 to endure the test of time and last 21 years together and 18 years married, but theirs has done just that. As anyone who has been married knows, marriage is a lot of work. No marriage will last if the couple is not willing to work at it, and I am so proud of these my kids who have worked hard to develop a strong marriage that beat the odds. Happy Anniversary Corrie and Kevin!! We love you both very much!!

I was thinking tonight about the next generation. Oh, I know, everyone thinks I’m going to complain about their dress, or attitude, or some other such thing, and while I would agree that those things can be annoying sometimes, that isn’t what I’m thinking about tonight. What came to my mind is the simple fact that at some point we will be passing the baton to this next generation.

Many people would cringe at the very thought, and when I think about some of the kids I see, I might have a tendency to join them in that. But we really can’t judge the kids by what they are today, because tomorrow, when responsibility hits them full force, they will change in a moment, just like we did. There isn’t one adult today, who can honestly say that their parents liked the way they dressed, the music they listened to, or the friends they had. They might have liked some things, but not all. And what parent hasn’t made mention of the dreaded next generation and scowled.

Well, just as we were that dreaded next generation and we changed into the establishment of today, so they will become the establishment of tomorrow, and they will look at their children and their friends as the next generation. And they will hope that as they changed into responsible adults, their kids will do the same.

As we did, most kids will grow into responsible adults. If we can instill in them the values we were raised with, and couple that with love and a respect for their feelings, most kids will blossom into adults that we can be very proud of. Kids are looking for approval…from someone. Now I don’t say to pretend that you love their clothes or music or attitude, but when they do something worthy of praise, don’t forget to praise them for it. If you don’t give positive reinforcement, they will act out to get your attention. We can’t be absent from their childhood and expect them to be great adults. We must love and encourage our kids, and most importantly keep their lives in prayer, because that is the most important thing we can do for them.

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