Heaven
My mother-in-law has had Alzheimer’s for ten years now. As most of you know, Alzheimer’s Disease steals the memories of it’s victim…especially the most recent ones. I have not always been one to feel like every part of recent memory loss is the most horrible thing that could happen. The main reason I feel this way, is that people who don’t remember that a loved one has died, never have to mourn their loss…unless people remind them. My mother-in-law talks about her husband, my father-in-law, Walter Schulenberg, now in Heaven for almost a year, in the same way as she does her daughter, my sister-in-law, Marlyce, and her parents, Robert and Nettie Knox, who have all been gone now since the 1980’s. To her, they are all still here, and she will see them later in the day. I can’t think of a better way to feel.
For her, it isn’t the middle of life memories that are missing, but rather, the recent memories, and the very distant past that elude her to a degree. For me, those are the ones that make me a bit sad. She doesn’t remember new family members, from marriages, or births of new great grandchildren. You can tell her who they are, and within five minutes, you have to tell her again. It isn’t an annoying thing, but rather a bit sad. As to her distant memories, she never really was one to relive her past a lot, so it is not unthinkable that she might not really remember those, but as a writer of moments past, that feels like a real loss to me.
Recently, while watching a television show, I got an idea. One of the characters had Alzheimer’s Disease, and couldn’t remember all the people he had helped in his career, until the other characters put together a DVD of all the people that the Alzheimer’s victim couldn’t remember. I started thinking about what a great idea that was. Maybe there was a way to give some of the forgotten memories back to my mother-in-law. The only problem I could see was that she would never be able to run a DVD player, and the staff was too busy to plug a DVD in for her all the time. It’s just too easy to forget, and then she never gets to see it.
Then it hit me. There is a way to get a great collection of pictures together, that she will be able to see every day, and no one will have to plug it in or turn it on for her. I started looking online for what I needed, and I found the perfect item. It was a 19 inch digital picture frame that has a built in timer to turn it on and off. I was so excited. We, the family bought the frame, and I have been loading pictures onto it. It now has about 2,000 pictures from different parts of her life, for her to look at when she is in her room at the nursing home. And there is still room for more. And no one has to run it. It has a timer, so it will run from 7:00 in the morning to 9:00 in the evening. Whenever she is in her room, it will be running, until bedtime.
Bob and I took the frame out to her on Saturday, and set it up. She really liked it. I was so excited about that. As I told her about some of the pictures, she looked on with great interest. Then came the moment when she knew the person in the picture, and finally the moment when she told me the name of one of her childhood horses…Star!! I was soooo excited!! I know that as she watches the frame, she will remember things about her past, at least for a little while. The digital picture frame has become the talk of the nursing home. All the nurses and aids rave about what a good idea it was. I’m just so happy that we are giving her memories back to her.
My Aunt Deloris…Aunt Dee to all of her nieces and nephews, was such a happy person. It never seemed to matter what might be going on in her life. She didn’t allow her happiness to depend on whether or not everything was perfect in her day. In fact, I truly don’t remember a time when I saw my Aunt Dee, that she was not smiling. That is a very special thing to say about a person, because not all of us can be known for our smile or our happy personality. I never knew my aunt as a young girl, because she was already a grown woman with children of her own by the time I came on the scene. Nevertheless, I have been looking at pictures of her in her younger days, and I think she was always that way. She loved people, especially her family, and just being alive.
I have to think, however, 
that Aunt Dee might have been a little bit shy when she was a girl. At lease that is how she looked to me. As I look at the family pictures she is in, I noticed that her demeanor seems to be happy, but just a little bit timid. Maybe it was just her being humble minded, which is never a bad thing, and really, an endearing trait to have. I don’t think Aunt Dee ever thought of herself as anyone special, but I did. I loved having her come over to our house, because she was always like a ray of sunshine. She never had an attitude of greatness, which in my opinion just goes to show how great she really was…she just didn’t seem to know that. How could that be? I mean, we could all see it, but she could not. It was just her way. Hers was a behind the scenes greatness.
Nevertheless, if you asked all the people who knew her, I’ll bet that every one of them could 
tell you about some of the many special things she did for people…like the piano she bought for the family, and teaching her siblings to dance, or my mom to fly…at least as much as you could using the wind and your coat as wings. She was a friend you wanted to call yours. She was such a kindhearted woman, and yet she took no credit for what she did for people. She was more the Wind Beneath Your Wings kind of gal. I will always remember her sweet smiling face. Aunt Dee left us on October 6, 1996, when Brain Cancer stole her sweet smile from us. Today would have been Aunt Dee’s 82nd birthday!! Happy birthday in Heaven Aunt Dee!! We love and miss you always.
Every Easter families gather together to eat a big meal and enjoy each other’s company. Most of us use just about any excuse to have a huge meal filled with all the best dishes we can think of. The meal often consists of ham and brisket at our house. And of course, what Easter dinner would be complete without eggs in some form…usually for breakfast and dinner. All those eggs the kids colored had to be used in some way, after all. In our family, the eggs are called angel eggs, because for obvious reasons, we don’t like the term deviled eggs. I really don’t want the devil involved in anything in my family…even the eggs.
But, more importantly, as Christians, we come together to remember the sacrifice our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ made to save us from our sins. We were in a horrible mess. We had all sinned, and there was no way out of going to Hell…not that we could manage anyway. Nevertheless, God is a loving God, and His children really are His life. He devised a plan to save us from the mess we were in. He sent his son, Jesus, who left His home in Heaven to come to earth, as a man, to live a sinless life, and then to die on the cross anyway, because it was the only way out for us. A sinless man had to die to pay the price for a world of sinners.
I saw a post yesterday on Facebook with the message, “Friday happened, but Sunday is coming.” That is so true. There is nothing we can do about the fact that our sins caused the 
need for a Saviour, Jesus to come and die to save us. That is in the past, but our future is eternal in Heaven, because of the selfless act of our Saviour. It is God’s love, grace and mercy toward his children that allows us to walk away from the punishment we all deserved, and live forever with Him. We can never thank Him enough for sending His Son. We can never thank Jesus enough for choosing to come and die in our place. All we can do now is rejoice!! Friday happened, but Sunday came three days later, because God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son!! Jesus willingly paid the price, defeated the devil, and the rose again to proclaim that victory!! Sunday is here!! He is risen!!! Jesus is alive!! Rejoice!!
When you have known someone a long time, you assume that you know pretty much everything about them. That is not always the case, however. Sometimes, you learn great things about people after the have passed away. Such was the case with my father-in-law. I always knew that he was a very capable mechanic. He had also trained himself to do cement work, carpentry, and masonry work…building their house himself back in the 70’s, when my girls were just little toddlers. His skill in building that home amazed me. He just instinctively knew how to do it…or so it seemed to me at the time, and maybe it was so. People sometimes to have a skill they just come by naturally, and without any real training.
I also knew of all his craft skills. He could re-weave lawn chairs with the design of the person’s choice, and he could make lawn decorations, such as whirligigs, birdhouses, and tin men. He was well known around Casper, and even had a story written about him in the Casper Star Tribune. All that work kept him pretty busy in his retirement years, and with his passing there have been a lot of people who miss him very much…you see, part of his charm was that he didn’t just make something and sell it to y0u, he talked to you…got to know you…and made you his friend.
Still, when you are a self taught, jack of all trades, one would expect that the work you do is…along the lines of simple…nothing elaborate. With my father-in-law, that couldn’t be further from the truth. When I was looking through the pictures we took from his home, I came across some pictures of masonry work he did while Snow Birding in Arizona. He was never a man to sit around and do nothing, so even though he was supposed to be retired…and relaxing, here he was building patios, steps, and garden enclosures in Arizona. I suppose that the fact that the work was done in Arizona, and the fact that my 
father-in-law was never a man to brag on himself, makes it a little less surprising that I didn’t know about this work.
When I looked at the pictures of the work he had done, it occurred to me that I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did. Here was a very talented man…self taught, to be sure, but amazing well taught too. The work is beautiful, I’m sure you will agree. Today would have been my father-in-law’s 84th birthday, and it is the first his family has spent without him. Happy birthday in Heaven Dad!! I know it will be a great day!! We love and miss you very much!!
When we are young, life’s possibilities seem to be endless…it’s places are ours to explore, and ours to decide what is for us and what is not. Of course, as we get older, we realize that we don’t always have the say in where life takes us, but we can decide how we will handle what life sends our way. My dad was always one of those people who took what life handed him and made the best of it with a smile on his face and kindness in his heart. Oh, I know there are many oher people out there who, like my dad were inspiring to their friends and families, but I can only speak to what I know. Dad was always such a positive influence on all of us. He inspired us to do what was right.
I have more of a tendency to be a little hot headed…difficult to believe, I know…or not, but my dad had the ability to settle me down pretty well. Yes, we debated…often called arguing by the average person…but whether I admitted it or not, I did hear the things he tried to teach me, and I think that it was probably those teachings, and the ones from my mom, that made me into the person I am today.
My parents came from humble beginnings, where money wasn’t the main focus in life. They were taught that hard work and a good attitude would always keep them on the right track. The Great Depression was a tough time for America, and they lived through those times, and their aftermath, and yet it never hindered them from doing the things they wanted to do. They saw where life was taking them, and they made that a better place. That is the kind of person I would like to be. Lifes roads are not always the easiest ones to travel, but I want to be able to make the places I pass through on that journey better than they were before I arrived.
We all have to start somewhere and finish somewhere, and it isn’t about that beginning or even about the ending, but more about the in between that matters, except of course, where we will spend eternity, which I pray for all of you, will be in Heaven, where I’ll be going. Where we start is out of our control…where we finish is ours to decide, and what we do in the places that our journey takes us, is up to us. We should think about the kind of impression we will leave people with, because the things we say can have a lasting effect on the people who hear them. My dad made that in between and finish the very best, and taught his family to do the same. Missing you today, Dad. Love you!!
Today marks the first time in my life that I don’t have a dad to celebrate Father’s Day with. After my dad passed away in 2007, I still had my father-in-law that we celebrated Father’s Day with. Nevertheless, it was very lonely, because I missed my dad. And yet, I was blessed in that I still had my father-in-law. Now, those days are over, and I feel very sad again. And when I think of how my sisters-in-law and brother-in law and my husband must be feeling, my heart aches for them, because this is their dad and they have never had to deal with those feelings before…the emptiness that only comes from the loss of a parent. I feel sad for my sisters too, because we know that the death of your parent is not something you ever get over. You simply have to go on with life…because time marches on.
Still, today is Father’s Day, and in our hearts we will all celebrate the men who were our dads. The fact that they live in Heaven now, in no way diminishes the blessing they were to us in their lifetimes. We were so very blessed to have them in our lives for those years that we had them. We were very blessed that they each lived to be over 83 years old…long lives each one. We were very blessed that each of them had sound minds right to the end. They gave us their wisdom through the last conversations we had with them. So many of the elderly have had their minds and memories 
stolen from them by dementia, so this was a blessing beyond measure for us, and one I wish everyone could have.
My dad and my father-in-law were both hard working men. Their families came first in all things. They would give you the shirt off their backs if you needed it, because they both walked in love. We were so blessed to have witnessed the kindness they showed to those around them. It sometimes amazes me just how very much alike they were in so many ways. How I came to be so blessed in that way…overwhelms me. I was blessed beyond measure by the two dads God placed in my life, and my heart acutely feels the pain of their passing to this day. I know that it will feel that way until I see them both again in Heaven…a day I look forward to with much anticipation. Happy Father’s Day in Heaven to my two dads. I love and miss you both very much.
I wasn’t there when my future Uncle Jim met my Aunt Ruth, of course, because I wasn’t even born yet, but I can imagine how he must have felt, because he had found his one and only. All it took was one look at the two of them together, and you could see just how deep their love was. There would never be anyone else for either one of them. They were married on September 15, 1946, and began a life full of love, laughter, and later, a desire to see new places and find their special paradise.
After living several places, they found that special place in the mountains near Newport, Washington. There, with their family around them, they settled down in their last home. Grief had crossed their paths while living in California, when their middle child, and oldest son, Larry was killed in an accident. Washington would become a retreat…a way to get beyond their grief and feel alive again, in the beauty of nature. They had always loved the great outdoors, and now it would become a healing balm for their hearts too.
When my Aunt Ruth passed away, on May 11, 1992, Uncle Jim’s heart was broken, and maybe his spirit a little bit too. The love of his life was gone from him for now. She existed only in his future now…in Heaven, waiting for him to join her again. For many years now, Uncle Jim has been living in the past…the one thing that the Alzheimer’s Disease couldn’t rob him of. He could see his lovely bride…his one and only…beautiful as ever, always beside him, reminding him of the wonderful life they had shared and the wonderful future they would share soon.
Uncle Jim passed away yesterday at the good old age of 91. He lived a happy life but his body was tired and it was time for him to leave this life and start the next one. He was surrounded by his loving family, and the wonderful nurses and CNAs who had cared for him for the past 7 years, and who will miss him terribly. His joyful voice, singing as he wandered through the halls of the nursing home, is silenced now, no more to delight those who loved to hear it. His smiling face no more to brighten the day of all who saw it. And there will be more than one nurse who will 
miss being chased around the home by this little old man saying he loved them.
His antics done here on Earth, Uncle Jim has gone home, to begin his future in Heaven. He was met by his one and only, Aunt Ruth, his son Larry, and all the family who had gone before him. He is free again, with his body and mind intact. The disease that had kept him bound all these years, no longer has its hold on him. He is free, healthy, happy, and surrounded by the loved ones who were awaiting his arrival. We love you Uncle Jim, and while we will miss you very much, we are thankful that you are safe in God’s loving arms. We will see you again very soon.
There is an old song sung by Perry Como called “There’s No Place Like Home For The Holidays” and when your family has students away at college, that song comes to mind right about this time of year. Some students like my grand niece, Siara are away at college for the first time in their lives, in fact it is the first time in her life that Siara hasn’t lived at home with her parents. For those students, being far away from home is both fun and yet, very lonely…at least at first. Once they make friends, most students start to feel better, but there is still no place like home.
Siara came home for the Christmas break today, and her Facebook page sported comments like “Homehomehomehome!! (: It’s about time!” and “Forgot how pretty my house is during Christmas!! SOOOO happy to be home(:” tonight. Really, while there might be people who aren’t sure what some of that means, they get the jist of it…Siara is in Seventh Heaven right now, because she is home for the holidays. She will be just fine when the next semester starts up, even though she will be sad to leave her family again, but she will also be well aware that Summer vacation is right around the corner. For now she will just enjoy the time with family and friends.
My niece, Lindsay has been away at college for some time now, and while she still misses her family too, the pain of missing them is easier to deal with, because she has been down this road before. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t look forward to coming home for the holidays, because she is just as excited as Siara is. When I texted Lindsay to ask if she was coming home for Christmas, she texted back that she was…followed by “Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!” Her excitement was as evident as Siara’s, and while Lindsay won’t be home until Saturday, at which time I expect that her real excitement will surface. It is so hard to come home…see your house all decorated for Christmas…and not feel like you are finally home for the holidays.
Because of the years Lindsay has been in school, she is more able to deal with being away from family, but being away from family is always hard, and if you have to be 
away from family over the holidays, it’s even harder. Being with family is one of the most important parts of the holidays, if there is any way to be there. I am so thankful that Lindsay doesn’t have to be away from all of us over the holidays, because we are a close family, and we don’t like having anyone be far away over the holidays. As Lindsay always says, “We would miss her face!!” I’m so glad that both girls will be home for the holidays.
Many people have been looking forward to this day all year, because they believe it will be the luckiest day of the year, or just a cool day to get married or have a baby on, or whatever special thing they have going on in their lives. This day does not feel like a cool day to me, but it is a day that I will mark for a very different reason. Today, 12-12-12 at 12:00pm, marks the 5 year anniversary of my dad’s graduation to Heaven. I know that was a wonderful day for him, but for me, it is a lonely day, because I miss him so much. It never occurred to me when I was growing up, that I would ever live a day without my parents on this earth. A crazy thought…probably, but it was the thought of a daughter who loves her parents very much…a daughter who could not imagine a world without her dear parents in it…then. I can imagine it now, and I do not like it at all.
Looking back on all the wonderful days of my first 50 years, I know without question that I have lead a very blessed life, as have my mom, my sisters, and all of my dad’s grandchildren and those great grandchildren who had the opportunity to know him. Dad was fun loving, and made things fun for all of us. He was a great kidder, and 
passed that love of teasing on to his girls. There was always some kind of joking going on, and it taught us to take a joke and to laugh about things. There was always a lot of laughter at our house.
My dad always seemed so young. He never seemed to age. I think it was that he was so young in spirit. He was a kid at heart, and it carried into his life. Dad was a very positive, loving person. He always had a way of looking for the best in people and the best in every situation. What a great way to be!! I think that is one of the things that made my dad great. My dad is the kind of person I want to be, but I could never be as amazing as he was. All I can do is try my best to follow in his footsteps…to live the way he taught us. He made being a loving person seem so easy, no matter what was going on…he just walked in love. Forgiving people for their faults and looking for something good in them. It didn’t matter what mistakes we made as kids, Dad always said something like, “Well, just try to do better next time.” Whenever I’m having a rough day, I think back on Dad’s forgiving ways, and I try to live in a way that would make him 
proud of me.
Five long years have come and gone since my dad went to Heaven. It is our great loss, and Heaven’s gain. I know that my dad is ok, and living happily with his parents, sisters, his 2 granddaughters and other family members who have gone before, and that this is their time with him. I know they are busily catching up and rejoicing in the presence of our Lord. I know I will see him and the rest of the family again. And mostly, I know that the Comforter is with me and my family today, because God knows we have need of comfort. I love you Daddy, and I’ll see you again very soon. You are in my future for now.
Every year for as long as I can remember, my mom’s family has held a Christmas party for the entire family. There is no way all of us could even consider getting together on the holiday itself, because there are around 300 of us now. Of course, we don’t usually have that many who are able to make it to the party, but we always have a great turnout. One of the things my grandparents asked was that we not stop the tradition after they were gone, because they wanted their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren to know each other. In their honor, the Christmas party continues.
Yesterday was the party for 2012. We had a good turnout, and as always the food was amazing. On thing I can say for our family…we are good cooks!! Many of the traditional dishes were there, but some had a new and modern twist. Family traditional dishes for many families, blended together to form a different type of tradition…but then, that is how traditions get started. Someone brings in a wonderful dish, and someone else gets the recipe, and uses it at their next gathering, and a new tradition begins. The family Christmas party has seen its share of recipes exchanged and passed along.
Every family or group of families who put on the Christmas party every year, always add 
their own touches. Centerpieces are one of the big attractions, and are often given out to those who attend. This year the centerpieces were made form candy canes and peppermint stars. They were very cleverly designed, and caught everyone’s eye. They were beautiful, as I’m sure you will agree.
For me and many others in our family, it just isn’t truly Christmas until we all gather together and celebrate together. Our thought drifting back to the ones who started it all, and hoped we would continue it through the years, both during and after their lifetimes. Merry Christmas to all my family, and to those in Heaven who are celebrating with Jesus this year. I love you all!!
