go to person

Role ModelMy nephew, Rob is a multi-faceted person. As a little boy, he had either a keen sense of direction or he was very observant. Whenever he went somewhere with someone, if they went a direction that was other than the normally taken route, little Robbie would quickly explain to the driver, that this was not the right way to go. The offending driver then had to try to explain to Robbie that they were taking an alternate route. I’m not completely certain that Robbie was ever really convinced that they knew what they were talking about. I think he probably thought they just wandered around until they found their way, and while they always seemed to manage to find their way, they nevertheless, had done it wrong. I think it was mostly because Robbie was a very observant child.

He has always looked up to his grandpa, my dad, Allen Lewis Spencer. If his grandpa did something, he wanted to do that thing too, and he wanted to do it just like his grandpa. I suppose that was the reason he was able to walk into a campground spot the family Campinghad rented for the night and take care of a little problem that the family was having. His brothers-in-law were trying to get the campfire started, and no matter what they did, the fire fizzled. Robbie, however, had been watching his grandpa build a campfire for years, and now, he knew exactly what needed to be done. Robbie didn’t say a word, but just walked up to the campfire ring, moved the kindling around a little and lit the fire, then he used a hat, just like his grandpa had always done, to fan the kindling until it grew into a nice little fire. Then, without bragging or even saying anything at all, he simply went on about his own activities. I’m sure his brothers-in-law were both amazed that he got it going so easily and thankful that he didn’t rub it in. Like his grandpa, he just did what needed to be done and didn’t make the other guys feel like they didn’t know anything about it.

As a dad, himself now, a grown up Rob knows what it means to be kind and patient with his kids, and it has created a great bond between him and them. They think the world of their daddy. He reminds me of my dad in that way too. If he continues to follow the teachings of his grandpa, he will become the problem solver his grandpa always was. He could become the go to person his Dad and Robbie and the old wagon agrandpa always was, and that would be a great goal for anyone to aspire to accomplish. I can’t think that Rob would like anything more than to become more and more like his grandpa. Since my dad’s passing, Rob has taken over many of the chores that had belonged to Dad. Everything from taking out the trash, to shoveling the walk, mowing the lawn, ad even checking in on Mom to make sure she is doing well, and has all that she wants or needs. He loves his mom and grandma, and considers it a privilege more than a duty to take care of them.Today is Rob’s birthday. Happy birthday Rob!! You get better and better with each passing year. Have a great day!! We love you!!

MomI saw a post on Facebook the other day that got me thinking about my two moms. The saying went like this: “Always love your mother, because you’ll never get another.” I started thinking about how often we take our mothers for granted. As children, we depend on our mothers for everything.  No matter what the need is, we expect them to be able to meet that need. We think that there is no end to their capabilities.  While it’s great for us to think that our mom can do anything,  it is somewhat  unrealistic, and eventually we start to realize that she is just human, and maybe even annoying at times. Of course, it’s probably just that we have hit those annoying adolescent and teenage years…you know, that time in our lives when we are certain that our mother just doesn’t know anything…well, actually it’s our parents who don’t know anything, but in this case, we are discussing Mom, so she doesn’t know anything. We will feel that way for the next few years, and then suddenly, about the time we hit our twenties, she becomes so much smarter…especially when we become parents, and need her advise on how to treat a sick baby, or some such thing.

Being a mother really is a thankless job, and one that takes a very special person. A mother has to be selfless in so many ways, because it takes so much of her life to do the job she does. She might want to be at the spa, at home reading a good book, or out on the town with the love of her life, but instead, she is out there in the audience watching as your music recital, ball game, or class play are taking place. And who was it that got you to all the necessary practices…you got it, your mom. She set aside all the things she might have been doing, so you could achieve your dreams, or even just see if you really wanted to be a professional ball player, singer, or actor. And when you decided that you liked track, cheerleading, or the debate team, she switched gears, taking it all in stride, knowing that next year, this dream too would morph into something totally different, and she would be cheering you on in that new venture too. It’s a funny thing how your hopes and dreams changed so much through the years, but your mom’s devotion. loyalty, and interest stayed with you, no matter what. It was the one constant in your life.

As your mother gets older, her position in your life changes, as she steps back to let you soar, but you always know that she will be there to help you with anything you need her for. She becomes your go to person, when the kids need to be picked up and you are at work, or you want to go out for the evening with your husband, and need a babysitter. Who do you call? Well, we know, it’s not Ghostbusters, but it often is your mom. Without really meaning to, you tend to take for granted that she will always be there to help you when you need her, and yet, before you know it, you suddenly realize that she is getting older. You begin to see her as a little more fragile, less able to be that go to person, and suddenly it’s more like you are becoming the Bob's momnew go to person. It’s about this time that you begin to realize that while you have always appreciated all she has done for you over the years, you probably didn’t show her just how much you appreciated her often enough. You realize just how short life is, and it does make you want to let her know just how much you appreciate her, just how proud you are of her, and just how much you love her, before it is too late. To my mom and my mother-in-law, I want to say that you have been the two most important women in my life for so many years. I wouldn’t be where I am, were it not for you. You have and always will be the greatest mother and mother-in-law on earth, and I love you both very much. Happy Mother’s Day!!

Aunt Sandy's graduation pictureAs the youngest of my Grandma and Grandpa Byer’s family, my Aunt Sandy got to hear all the stories of her family’s lives, starting at a very young age. Her siblings were already out there doing things with their lives, and it all sounded so interesting to her. I suppose that is why she has been the one that was most interested in the family stories, and my go to person when I need information on this person or that person for a story I’m working on. I really need that kind of a person, because there are many stories I hadn’t heard before. I have enjoyed our talks so much, and look forward to the next one. It’s funny, that sometimes when I ask my mom about something to do with one of her siblings, she will say, “I was married by that time, but Sandy will know.” And mom is right.

Of course, eventually Aunt Sandy began to have stories of her own unique experiences, such as the traveling peddler of sorts, who was allowed to take a picture of Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt Aunt Sandy and Grandma by bus for trip home from Superior, WI in the fall of 1957 or 1958Sandy Byer, Bonnie Byer, Dixie Byer, Susie HushmanSandy, or the trip she and grandma took to Wisconsin to visit my family, when we lived there. And as a little girl, she became an aunt at an early age when my cousin Susie was born. They would be almost like sisters in those younger years, and at  least, great playmates. Every life has a story to tell, and Aunt Sandy paid attention to all the stories, keeping them safe in her memory files…just waiting for someone to take an interest in all of those little treasures waiting there. Some people have a knack for remembering the really interesting stories of a family’s past, and Aunt Sandy is one of those people. She has an amazing memory for the details of situations that happened a long Sandra Nannette, Byer, George F Byer, Hattie Byertime ago, and she can relate them in such a way as to keep her audience spellbound throughout her story. That is a great skill to have.

These days, Aunt Sandy has retired from the job she held for many years, and she is taking life a little easier. She and my mom have been spending a little more time together, and that has been such a nice thing for my mom. She hasn’t gotten out as much is the last few years, so those get togethers with Aunt Sandy have become very special. Today is Aunt Sandy’s birthday. Happy birthday Aunt Sandy!! Have a great day!! We love you very much!!

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