Grandchildren
My dear granddaughter, Shai, it seems like just yesterday that we were so excited about having a Leap Day Baby. Little did we know then, that our little Leap Day Girl would also be our only granddaughter. Time has flown by so quickly, and I can’t believe that at 4½ years of age, you are going to be graduating from high school. Like most kids, it seems like just yesterday that you were born, but while time has indeed flown by, you have managed to age much slower than most kids…not a bad thing for a girl, because as we all know, women want to fight age with everything they have.
All kidding aside, we are so proud of all you have accomplished. You have reached a milestone today…one that will change you forever. High school graduation is the real completion of your childhood. You are no longer a little girl, but rather a woman he has earned the right to make her own decisions and plans, and set her own goals. I can’t believe that this day is really here. You really should be just a little teeny girl…a real 4 year old, and yet here you are…a grown woman. You talked with me about your plans, and when I listen to you, I hear a wise woman. You may not know exactly where you want your life to go, but you know where you don’t want it to go, and sometimes that is as wise as knowing the destination. Your journey will take you step by step toward the woman you want to be, and as long as you let God lead you, you will have great success.
Though your plans are keeping you close to home right now, I still feel a loneliness in my heart, because in my memory files, I can still see the little girl you were, and I miss her. You had a way of ruling the roost when it came to your brother and your cousins, Chris and Josh…when you were little anyway. They have become much more your allies now…and your friends, not just your brother and cousins. I remember the times…not so long ago, when we painted your tiny little fingernails, and you felt so grown up, then you told me that mine were “a meth and I better fixth them” if they were chipped. You were a born shopper. As a little girl, you could not see the problem with that. You told your mom to “just sharge it!!” That was a statement that always brought us a laugh. You were the type of little girl who simply never saw the problem with things. In your mind there was always a clear solution…except when other people didn’t agree with your solution. Then, oh my gosh…we met the Drama Queen.
Now, suddenly…right before our eyes, the Drama Queen is drifting away. We almost never see her anymore, and in her place stands a beautiful woman, who is ready to take on the world with style and grace. You have such new found confidence, and with your take charge personality, I know that you will be successful at whatever you do. I want all your dreams to come true, but for the selfish part of me, I hope that your dreams won’t take you far away, because I would miss my girl terribly. We are so proud of the woman you have become. Words can’t fully express just how proud. We love you so much. Congratulations on your high school graduation my dear granddaughter, Shai!! Way to go!!
My Dear Grandson, Chris, today your life will change forever. Today you have reached a milestone. You now have your high school diploma…the first degree of your adult life. You have met all the requirements to receive your diploma, and that means the end of your high school career. You are an adult now, with the right to make your own decisions. You are really a whole new person. That is hard for the rest of us to accept, because while we know your age, and your schooling level, we can still see very clearly the baby and little boy you once were. We see him in every room you have been in…whether it is your parents house, or one of your grandparent’s homes. That little boy isn’t really gone now, but rather will live in our memory files, peeking out on occasion to run across the floor, in our memory anyway, giggling all the way. That little boy will always be there in my mind, but I am so proud of the man that little boy has grown into.
Graduation from high school is probably the most special graduation you will have, because it has taken so long to get there. In many cases it is the longest time you will spend in school. I can’t believe you are really at this point already, because like you, we thought the time from birth to graduation was about 18 years, but in reality, it flies by in the twinkling of an eye.
So much of life is ahead of you now. You are embarking on an exciting adventure as you spread your wings and fly a little ways away, to chase your dreams. I’m glad you won’t be too far away, but my heart misses my first grandchild already…and you haven’t even left yet. When you return to us next summer, you will be different…independent. You will have had the experience of living on your own, setting your own rules, and being your own boss. I have to wonder if we will even know you, when you return to us. Of course, I don’t really think you will change in such a total way, but my heart doesn’t always think straight when it comes to my babies. I have seen my nieces and nephews return home from college or living in another city, and there is a definite difference in them…one that was ok for my nieces and nephews, but this is my grandbaby now, and I don’t like this new idea very much.
Of course, for you…I want the moon. I want your plans and dreams to be exactly what you 
had in mind. I want everything to go your way, and I want you to have great success, but I don’t want you to forget where you came from, the good moral upbringing you received, and I don’t want you to forget your way home, because we are still here, and we will miss you terribly. I know that you have your next three years well planned, and you will do amazingly well in school. I can’t wait to hear about all you are learning, so don’t forget to call your grandparents from time to time. We are so proud of all you have accomplished and of the man you have become. Words cannot fully express just how proud. We love you so much. Congratulations on your high school graduation, my dear grandson, Chris!! Way to go!!
Every child who has been in school, has also been in a school play of one type or another. It is very common, especially in Kindergarten to have a class play. All the kids in the class are so excited as the practice session take place, and they can hardly sit still long enough to get through the necessary studies before it is time for play practice. It doesn’t really matter what part each child is to play…at least not in Kindergarten, because they are usually happy with any part. Often there is a line or two for the child to memorize, and when they say their line, they feel like it was a monumental accomplishment, and really, it was, because they have never done anything quite like that before.
I remember my Kindergarten play vividly…or should I say one part of it. I have no idea what the play was about, nor the part I played in it, but I vividly remember that when the teacher said it was time to line up for practice, I was running to be first in line. I made it too, several times, but it didn’t matter. The teacher always made me move back in the line to about the midway point. I never could figure that out. It seemed very unfair to me that even though I got there first, I was not allowed to keep my place in line. Thankfully the teacher was quite patient, because she had to tell me to move back to that same midway point every day. I suppose that if she had explained to me that there was a certain order that we had to line up in, I might have understood, but she never said that. She simply moved me back. The whole thing really wasn’t my fault either, because after all, when you lined up for anything else, it was first come first in line. So how was I supposed to know that this was different. All I knew was that I wanted to be first in line and the teacher wouldn’t let me. Thankfully, I just did as I was told, and didn’t cry. Now that would have been humiliating!! I don’t know if my teacher understood why she had to tell me over and over to move further back, or if she just thought I was a little ditsy, but she never got mad at me, and remained a favorite teacher throughout the years.
I never heard that my girls had such a problem with their pre-school and kindergarten plays, so maybe it was just me being a little ditsy, I don’t really know. What I do know is that I think I prefer being on the audience side of school plays far more than I did as an actress. I guess that means I’ll never be famous, or at least not a famous actress, but I can live with that. Through the years, I have enjoyed watching everything from plays to concerts at the schools…at least as long as they included my daughters or my grandchildren, that is.
When a person is a hot car enthusiast with their own hot car, the ultimate thrill is winning a competition. For many car owners, the wait for that first win is a long one, but for my grandson, Chris Petersen, that first win came with his first entry. That is such a rare occurrence, that it really is almost unheard of. So often these car shows are won partly on name recognition, and 
a first time competitor doesn’t have that recognition. It didn’t matter in this case. They simply loved Chris’ car!! I can understand that, because his car is awesome. Chris and his dad, my son-in-law, Kevin put a lot of work into this car…even Chris’ little brother, Josh helped a little bit. The resulting car is, as you can see…beautiful.
When I heard that Chris was going to enter the 2014 Casper Chrome Virtual Car Show, it never occurred to me that he would actually win it. Of course, I knew that his car was winner worthy, but there were 74 other cars entered in the competition. There were a lot of nice cars and yet, when it came right down to it, the winner was my eighteen year old grandson, Chris. My daughter, Corrie and her family were all just floating. It was such an amazing day for them all. The winner was to be announced at a party on Saturday, April 26th, and the winning car was to be put on display at the party, so I’m quite sure that all 75 entrants were on hand. There were a lot of cars with well known owners, and yet the winner was my grandson, Chris. He will receive some really cool prizes for his win. Of course, he got the trophy, which is huge by the way. He will also receive a custom Grand Champion jacket, a photo session, so he can have some great shots of his awesome car, and a $250.00 gas card, which is an awesome prize by itself. I am so excited to see the jacket and the photos.
I’m sure there will be other car show wins in the future for Chris, but there is just nothing that can ever compare to the way a person feels with their first win. You know that you have worked hard on this. You really had no idea what it would take to make this car a winner…and maybe you never even considered that it could be a winner. You just knew that as the changes on the car took place, and it started to become the car of your dreams, you started thinking that maybe…just maybe, it could be a winner…and suddenly, it was. There you are, Chris, in the Winner’s Circle!! A dream come true!! Congratulations Chris!! You worked hard on this, and we are all so very proud of you!!
As my grandchildren get closer to graduation from high school, I am beginning to realize just how much I am going to miss all their activities. As little ones, there were the school plays, awards ceremonies, and track day, and they might also play basketball or soccer. Then in summer they might play baseball or some other sport. By the time they were in middle school, the plays were gone, but there was still the occasional concert, basketball, track, and summer baseball. I began to realize that we were at the end of that era after Josh graduated to middle school. Things were very different now. By this time, all three of the other grandchildren had decided that they didn’t want to be in sports in school anymore, although, Chris and Caalab like to play softball on their team from work in the summer, and that is fun to watch too. Still, mostly they were busy with their jobs, studies, and plans for their futures.
I realize that if I want to see much of the school activities anymore, I will need to attend as many of Josh’s track meets as I can. I always liked to go to them, but this years has been more difficult. There were more of them that were during the day and during the work week. Nevertheless, I have been able to make a couple of them. I think it is sad that the closer I get to having no more of these activities, the fewer I am able to get to. I know that I will miss these when they are over.
Today was one of the times I was able to get to Josh’s meet. I really love to watch Josh run. He does best at the long races, and I think that those kids who do the 800 meter and 1600 meter races are to be commended. I like the 400 meter too with Josh. He just seems to be 
able to bring it on as the race progresses. That is so not like his grandmother. Running is not my thing. I can walk for two hours or more, but running…less that 5 minutes. Josh is my hero in the running arena. This year has been a bit of a transition for Josh, and that has been a little hard. Before, he raced against his own age group, but in high school they all race together. Some of those seniors are quite a bit stronger than Josh. Nevertheless, Josh stood his ground against kids who are bigger, older, and stronger than he is. I know that as he grows, he will be the one who is bigger, older, and stronger, and then he will be in charge. I can’t wait for that day, but in the meantime, I enjoy watching the journey he is on.
My cousin Shirley Wolfe Cameron, commented on a story I wrote a couple of days ago, and while this story and that one really have very little to do with each other, her comment sparked a little memory for me. My story was on my great grandmother, Henriette Schumacher’s debilitating arthritis, but it reminded Shirley of our grandmother, Anna Schumacher Spencer when she was in a wheelchair with debilitating arthritis. Shirley is Grandma’s first granddaughter, and while she is not the oldest grandchild, she was always very close to Grandma. Grandma lived with the Wolfe family for many years, and so the two of them shared many good times, and Shirley has many great memories of those times, and of her grandma. They are memories that most of us younger grandchildren wish we had too. I don’t remember my grandmother at all, because she died when I was just three months old, but in some ways, I really think I must be a bit like her…especially when it comes to my grandchildren.
Shirley told me of the times when she was in trouble with her mother, my aunt, Ruth Spencer Wolfe. She said she would run in to Grandma, yelling, “Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!!” Then she would climb up in Grandma’s lap a wait for her mother to come in after her. Grandma was always a bit of a peacemaker, and like me, she hated to see her grandchildren being disciplined. As grandmothers, we know they have to be disciplined…otherwise, they turn out pretty bratty, but it still breaks our hearts that our precious little babies have to get punished. Unfortunately, their parents don’t always like our soft hearted ways. They think that Grandma is a pushover…and, really we are. So, our pushover Grandma, would lift Shirley up into her lap and make a game of protecting Shirley from her mom’s punishment. Aunt Ruth got frustrated during those little episodes, like most parents would, but most of the time, in the end, she laughed along with her mother and her daughter, because she knew that this battle was lost.
My grandchildren were totally my weakness too. I was a fairly strict disciplinarian with my daughters, Corrie and Amy, but when it came to the grandkids, I was a pushover. Everyone knew it, from the grandkids to their parents, and even my parents and sisters. Even if the kids did something wrong when they stayed with me, their parents never knew it, because I didn’t want them to get into trouble. Thankfully, they are good kids, and they don’t take serious advantage of their grandma…or maybe they do, and I am too much of a pushover to realize it. My status as a pushover became a family joke of sorts too. The kids always knew that if Bob and I went out of town, we were going to bring them something back. They have had a variety of toys, candy, souvenirs, and t-shirts, including one of my favorite t-shirts. It was the one that went something like, “When all else fails…Call 1-800-Grandma.”
We have laughed at and used that saying many times over the years, and while I can’t say for sure that they ever really told on their parents, they did do their best to spend the night often. Maybe their parents were grouchy, and they wanted to go spend time with the pushover, or maybe they just liked to spend the might with their grandma, I can’t say for sure. One thing I can say for sure, however, is that kids have been calling 1-800-Grandma in one way or another, for as long as grandmothers have existed. There is simply no way for a mother who was a good parent to their own kids, not to relax and realize that you don’t always have to take life so seriously with your grandchildren.
So often we think that toddlers don’t have the ability to remember things that happened when they were so very small, but the mind is an incredible thing. If our toddler’s mind has deemed something as important enough to remember, we will remember it for the rest of our lives. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of sitting with my mom, Aunt Sandy, and my sister, Cheryl at my mom’s house, while we scanned some pictures, and talked about family history. We talked of many different family stories, but one that stood out in my mind was Aunt Sandy’s account of the entrance of my grandparents’ first grandchild, my cousin, Susie. For any grandparent, the moment when you actually become a grandparent for the first time is amazing…a moment you will never forget. But, what of the small children? Most of us assume that there really won’t be small children to consider when it is the first grandchild, but sometimes, the aunts and uncles are barely toddlers themselves. Such was the case with Aunt Sandy when Susie was born.
When she became an aunt, my Aunt Sandy was just three years old…too young to really remember much about it, right? Wrong! This would be an event that Aunt Sandy’s three year old mind knew was a life changing event. She was never going to be the same after that November day…she wasn’t just a little girl now…she was an aunt. I can’t say for sure that Aunt Sandy knew what being and aunt really meant, or that she understood that there was a new baby in the family now…at least, not at first. Then came the moment when the baby was to be brought over to meet her family.
The house was filled with all the family members. That wasn’t such an unusual thing for my grandparents’ home, so it probably didn’t seem like anything new to Aunt Sandy. Then my Aunt Evelyn and Uncle George brought the baby into the house. Everyone gathered around the new little family. There were the usual ooo’s and ahh’s, as everyone vied for a position where they could get a good look at the baby. But, standing in the back of the crowd, momentarily forgotten in all the excitement, stood my Aunt Sandy, her eyes as big as silver dollars, as she took in this incredible scene. Her little three year old toddler mind was trying to figure out what all this meant, because it didn’t take an adult to know that everything in her world had changed…she knew it, she just didn’t really know how much it had changed.
Feeling maybe just a little bit nervous about all this activity, Aunt Sandy went up to her mom, and put her little hand out and touched her mom. Grandma turned around, perhaps realizing for the first time that the prior youngest person in the family had been momentarily forgotten in all the excitement. As she looked down at her youngest daughter, her youngest child, she knew just what was needed. She said to Aunt Sandy, “Do you want to see the baby?” Aunt Sandy nodded, Grandma picked her up, and she was able to get her first look at the baby that 
had changed her life forever…the baby that had made her an aunt. She now knew that something amazing had happened in her family, and this was a moment she would remember for the rest of her life.
As we talked about the way that such an early memory could stay with a person, I could see on Aunt Sandy’s face, that the picture of that day was very clearly imprinted in her mind. It was almost as if she was that three year old toddler again, standing in back of the crowd of family members wondering what was going on. That earliest memory had so completely imprinted itself on her mind that she could still see it as if she was back there again.
Our family has always been very close. We spend holidays together, birthdays together, go to church together, and often just get together, so it is not surprising that we have had several of the kids over the years who, as cousins, are also friends. My daughter, Amy was always good friends with Cheryl’s daughter, Jenny. Cheryl’s daughter Liz spends time with Allyn’s daughters, Jessi, Lindsay, and Kellie. Allyn’s daughter, Lindsay has always been good friends with Alena’s daughter, Michelle, and Allyn’s daughter Kellie has always been good friends with Alena’s son, Garrett.
As the kids grew up, got married, and had kids of their own, the trend continued. Alena’s daughter, Lacey was very close friends with Cheryl’s granddaughter Siara, and Cheryl’s granddaughter, Christina has always been good friends with my granddaughter, Shai. That is just the way our family has always been, and probably always will be. It certainly isn’t a bad thing to be friends with your cousins. My sisters and I have been friends with all our cousins at one time or another, hanging out with some of them more than we did our friends sometimes. I can’t imagine not knowing my cousins well, and I think every other person in our family would feel the same way I do.
Last night, we were at one of those get togethers at my sister Allyn’s house, and everyone was having a great time. It was a time to share thoughts about the past and catch up on everyone’s lives. Allyn’s daughter, Lindsay was in town on one of her last visits before she moves to Florida, so it was a special time to visit with her. We got to look at her wedding pictures, and talk about her plans for her new life down in the Miami area, where her new husband, Shannon is a coach at Florida International University in Miami. We will miss them very much when they move, but it is the best thing for them, as this job is such a great opportunity.
As I was sitting there, watching the whole scene and listening to the stories, I began to notice something taking place that had nothing to do with the adults at the party. There at the coffee table in front of my chair, was Allyn’s granddaughter Aurora, and Cheryl’s granddaughter, Aleesia, having a little connection of their own. They were drinking out of their sippy cups, and Aurora pointed to the coffee table so that Aleesia would set her cup down beside Aurora’s cup. Then, as often happens, Aleesia picked up Aurora’s cup and took a drink. Aurora didn’t get upset at all. Then Aleesia gave it back and they both picked up their cups and wandered of into the kitchen for a cookie. A few minutes later they were back…still together, and they 
decided to look at the movies Allyn had. They were showing us which ones they liked, and pronouncing the names…which came out funny sounding. Aurora even made the face that is on one of the movies.
It occurred to me that while it was pretty early in their lives, and things could change, doubtful as that may be, these two little girls were lining right up with the rest of the family. They enjoyed each other’s company. They liked to do the same things. They were well able to share with each other. Yes…it became very clear to me that I was looking at cousin friends…the next generation.
Each year, every living person gets to have that one day that is their own special day, their birthday…right? Well, not exactly. While that is true for most people, for those people who were born on Leap Day, three out of four birthdays pass in just the twinkling of an eye…in a mere nano-second…that fraction of a second between February 28th and March 1st. February 29th doesn’t exist except every four years, and yet I know that my granddaughter’s birthday must exist each year, because I was there eighteen years ago when she made her grand entrance into this world. Now we have arrived these eighteen years later, at the first nano-birthday where she is unofficially an adult. The fact that she will graduate from high school this year means she must be an adult, and yet officially, she is only 4 1/2 years old, so how can it be that she is now an adult. Nevertheless, she is, and as her grandmother, I couldn’t be more stunned if I tried.
Looking back on the years that have gone by, at her transformation from infant, to toddler, to adolescent, to teenager, and now to adult, all I can say is how can this be? Before me now, stands a beautiful young woman, who is ready in every way to start making her own decisions about where her life will take her, but to me, she will always be that little teeny girl who stole our hearts away when she became our first and only granddaughter. From the first time she wanted me to paint her fingernails, to the times she has told me that my nails were “a meth, and I had better fixth them”, I knew she was a true Girly Girl. Her dimpled smile lit up a room, and her giggle was contagious, and all three of the grandsons knew from the start, that Shai was the boss. They weren’t sure why that was, but then what man does understand why those girls have a princess attitude, that always seems to end up with them getting their way.
As the years have passed, I have watched her grow into a graceful, charming girl, who really isn’t one bit ditsy, even if her sense of humor makes her seem so sometimes. She is a capable, responsible worker, who is loved by everyone she works with. She still isn’t sure what she wants to do as a career, but she is going to go to college anyway, and get her basics done, while she decides what really interests her. Her years have seen her in a variety of work, and that tells me that she could do anything she would choose. She has done child care, nursing, elder care, food service, and customer service work in my office…and she did very well at all of them, so when she decides what she wants to do, she will excel at it for sure.
Shai, you have made your grandma and papa so very proud over the years, and truly the only disappointment we have is that you have grown up so fast. I have often said that people need to spend as much time with their children and grandchildren as they can, because in the twinkling of an eye
, those childhood days are gone. The reality is that while I still believe time spent is the single most important thing you can do for your child or grandchild, I also know that even then, it is not enough. That twinkling of the eye happens quickly no matter what. Today is my lovely granddaughter, Shai’s 18th birthday or is it 4 1/2? No matter, happy birthday Shai!! Have a wonderful day!! We love you so very much!!
Years before you arrived, I already knew that I wanted to be a grandma. It had been so long since this family had a baby in it, and sometimes a mother’s arms long to hold their grandchildren long before they have any. We were so excited when we knew that you were on your way. The waiting seemed endless, but finally the day came when we knew the time of your arrival was here. I loved you from the moment I first saw you, at the very moment of your birth. You were our first grandchild, and you were a boy…something new to Grandpa and me, and a bit of a culture shock as it turned out, but an exciting change for us, nevertheless.
I look back now, on the years that have past and reminisce about how wonderful it was to have you in our lives. You were our smiley boy. You came up with the funniest, most precious faces. You smiled and laughed with your whole face…and you smiled and laughed often. You loved climbing into clothes baskets, after you threw out all the clothes, of course. Your mom might find you hiding under a table, in the closet, or behind the door. Any place would work, just as long as you could pop out and play peek-a-boo. We never knew where you would be the next time, so you kept us on our toes. I loved watching your little face light up, whenever we found your hiding places. You got so excited!! Your goal was always to follow in your daddy’s footsteps…as well as his boots, as often as your got the chance. It didn’t matter to you, where he was going, because that was where you wanted to go too. You two are so much alike. And, I loved the way you made all the animal sounds perfectly. You knew them by heart, and you were so proud of your new found ability.
The years have gone by so fast, and I can’t believe that we have already arrived at your 18th birthday. Soon you will be heading off to Sheridan to go to Culinary School, and before we know it you will we the proud owner of your own restaurant. You have shown such great skill and imagination is your culinary arts, and I can’t say that I am surprised, because you have always be an imaginative guy. We are so proud of all your hard work and we know you will be a great success in the restaurant business. My only regret is that the years have gone by so fast, and your childhood is over now. While you have been excitedly counting down the days, I have found myself trying to put the brakes on the passage of time, but that cannot be done.
To each of us comes one childhood, and when it is over, it is simply over. There is no going back, even though many of us wish we could sometimes. Gone now is the little smiley boy, and in his place stands a man, ready to take on the world. While my heart aches just a little bit, because you are going to be going away to college, I know that I can’t stand in your way. 
I also know that you will take with you all the memories and the good teachings you have received in your childhood. You make us so proud as you start this new journey, and all I ask is that you don’t forget your way home, because we, your family will be looking forward to each and every time you are back with us. Today is your 18th birthday. Happy birthday Christopher!! Have a wonderful day!! We love you very much!!
