teasing

Mom and DadDad on ChristmasHow can time pass so quickly…in the twinkling of an eye really, and yet in looking back on the years, they seem so many. Seven years seems like such a long time, but not when you are looking back to the moment you lost your dad…or any other loved one for that matter. When I look back now, it feels like just yesterday, and yet each year as the twelfth of December rolls around, I find myself thinking about just how long seven years is…or any number of years since my dad has been gone. Somehow in my head…or maybe my heart…I never thought I would live even one day without my dad in it. I thought he would always be there to offer guidance, to share laughter and even tears with. In his wisdom, he has taught me so much. He could make sense out of a situation where I found only anger and frustration, and he always dealt with these situations with kindness. He was slow to anger…something many people, including me, could learn from. Now, I have lived seven years without my dad…but not completely without him.

In reality, Dad is with me every day, because words are alive. I still hear his voice, carrying words of wisdom to me at just the moment I need them. In my memory, those words and the sound of his voice live on. I can hear his laughter ringing out after he has just managed to pull one over on me. Dad was always one to look for the positive in every situation. He loved to laugh and tease his kids and grandkids, and we loved it too. Life in our house was full of laughter, and often overly excited kids…much to Mom’s dismay at times, because while Mom was trying to get a couple of things done, Dad had situated himself beside the doorway to the living room in the kitchen, and one of the little kids was running back and forth trying to get by Dad before he could get them. The child was delighted and this game and the laughter was loud and constant. Dad was just as delighted as the kids, because he was, after all, a kid at heart…and always would be.

Those last years…when I realized that he wasn’t invincible, were hard ones for me. I wanted things to go back the way they had been, but that was not to be. The time he spent in the hospital in a coma, I could only think, ” I want to hear his voice again!” And I did hear his voice again. He knew he needed to stay then, because we needed him so badly. I spent a lot of time with him when he got home, nursing him back to health. I didn’t know then how much the extra time with him would mean to me later. It would be a time of storing up his words of wisdom, humor, and just everyday life, in my memory files, for recall when I needed them most. It would be a time of storing up pictures of him for later viewing…pictures of the hard work he put in to come back to us…pictures of his face filled with delight as he pulled one over on us…pictures to draw on later, when I needed to see him again. Now, I see him all over Mom’s house, and hear his voice, always at the moment when I need it the most. I think the time spent so closely in those last days was in some ways a time of preparation for after he went home. I am so thankful for those close times, because I miss him terribly, and Dad, Alena, Allyn, & CarylDad, Caryn, & Cherylthose close days are the only consolation I have now. I know that Dad felt how much I loved him, and knew how much we would miss him. But his main concern was that we take care of our mom, which we have done to the best of our ability. That was my dad…never thinking of himself, just of those around him. I can’t believe that seven years have passed by so quickly, and I wish we could have him back. I would gladly go back in time, if I could have him back, but that cannot be, so I will look to the future, when I will see him again. Until then, he lives on in my memory. We love and miss you so much, Dad.

Great Great Grandpa Allen SpencerAllen SpencerWhen a name is passed down from generation to generation dating back to the 1400s or even further back, it is often not easy to say just how that name got started, but once in a great while, we are able to find out for sure, because prior to a certain point, that name did not appear. Such is the case with my dad’s name in his family line. I have searched the family history pretty extensively, and while I could be mistaken, I don’t think that I am…for this part of the line anyway. My dad’s name is Allen Spencer, as was his dad’s and great grandfather’s. The name, Allen was first introduced with my dad’s great grandfather…as near as I can tell. It did not come from his parents, but rather from his grandparents. I’m sure that at this point, your are confused, so let me clarify this.

My fourth great grandfather, William Spencer, who was born on July 22, 1745, married a woman named Mercy Allen sometime before 1790. The exact date is unknown, but the only child anyone seems to know about, Christopher was born in 1790. Christopher Spencer was my third great grandfather, and the father of the first recorded Allen Spencer…who was, of course named after his grandmother…Mercy Allen. From that point on Allen in the NavyDad at about 20there would be an Allen from each generation, with only one exception that I am aware of…my sister, Allyn who would have been Allen, had she been a boy. Since she was not, my parents did the closest name they could…Allyn. Having all daughters, I’m sure you would expect that the Allen Spencer line would end with my parents, but it did not, because my sister, Caryl, upon the birth of her son, named him Allen Spencer Beach…thereby continuing the tradition. With the great care that was taken to continue the Allen Spencer name throughout the generations, I have to say that they succeeded…albeit with a little bit of creativity. While I don’t always think of my sister as being an Allen, she did go to school with a boy named Allyn, who was in fact called Allen. It is all in where you place the accent. We always pronounced hers like Lynn, with an A in front. It really had to be continued…it’s tradition. And it is my hope that my nephew, Allen will continue the tradition, or that someone else in the family will do so, because it seems a shame to let it end now.

The rather funny thing about the name, Allen being a last name is that my dad always joked with us when we or Ryan and KellieGarrett 2anyone else named their kids a name that could have been a last name. Names like Ryan, Garrett, and Kellie, while maybe not spelled exactly like the last name they came from, were nevertheless, originally last names. It’s funny that Dad teased about those names, saying they were last names, but didn’t make the same connection with his own name. I’m sure that was because he knew that it had been his dad’s and great grandfather’s name too. Still, like it or not, Dad’s name was originally the last name of his third great grandmother. Sorry to say it, Dad…but, that was once a last name!!

So HappyWhen we first met my brother-in-law, Mike Reed, I don’t think he was really ready for our family. That phase lasted for just about five minutes…and then Mike was showing off his great sense of humor. He loves to pick on his sisters-in-law, and nobody is safe. Mike is quick witted and funny. Half the time, you have no idea what to expect from Mike, but then maybe his teasing is in self defense. I think my sister, Caryl really enjoys that about Mike. A home that has laughter is definitely a happy home…and they are so happy.

With the purchase of a place in Casper, on Poison Spider Rd, we are looking forward to the day when they will finally live closer to us. Mike and Caryl have been spending a lot of their weekends at their new place, tearing down old buildings, and putting up fencing. It just looks better and better every time they come down. Mike is very talented at most carpentry work, as well as lots of other household repair jobs, so he doesn’t need to hire the work done for very many things. He has become one of our go to people for things around my mom’s house too. It can be a real asset to have people in the family that can take care of the things that need done around a house, because it saves you so much money…and Mike often works for food, hahaha!! I think that is how we get back at him for all the teasing he does to us. Just kidding Mike!!

Mike is a very loving family man…devoted in every way. He has made the transition into a blended family better than most stepfathers would have. That is because he really cares about the kids, and now, grandkids that he and Caryl have been blessed with. Now with the addition of the new place and the future addition of horses, I know the kids and grandkids will all love Mike in the Bahamasto come to their place. That might just apply to a whole lot of the nieces and nephews too.

Caryl and Mike love to go 4 wheeling and camping, and can sometimes be found doing just that with our sister Allyn, and her husband, Chris Hadlock and their family, and our sister, Alena and her husband Mike Stevens. They enjoy sitting around the fire and just enjoying the evening. Caryl and Mike also love to entertain, and have barbeques and get togethers at their place and at their cabin at Seminole Lake. So, we have all had the chance to enjoy their places. Thanks Mike and Caryl!! Today is Mike’s birthday. Happy birthday Mike!! Have a great day!! We love you!!

Brian, Destreyia, & KylerWhen you are the youngest child, and the only girl in a family of three children, you have to expect that your older brothers are going to tease you a little bit. Of course, Destreyia’s brothers, Brian and Kyler were never mean to their little sister, but boys will be boys, and these two boys were no exception. At seven and four years old though, they saw the potential for humor though in having a baby sister that they could help to smile…even if she wasn’t in the mood.

Of course, as time went by, Destreyia got to the point where she was well able to defend herself from these silly little onslaughts. At that point, the boys had to get a little bit more creative about their teasing. I think that most of the time, Destreyia was pretty easy going with her brothers’ teasing, but like most little girls there are Let Me Help You Smilelimits, and when they are reached, lookout, because this sassy little girl will let you have it both barrels. Destreyia is not the kind of girl to let anyone push her around. Nevertheless, if anyone is going to get away with it, it will be her brothers, because no matter what else, she loves them.

These last few months have been really rough ones for Destreyia. Her brother Kyler moved to Lewiston, Montana, and her brother, Brian passed away in California. The impact of these events has made it really hard for Destreyia to have very much to smile about, nevertheless, she is determined to do things in her life that will make her brothers proud of the woman she is so quickly becoming. Destreyia is determined to graduate from high school, even though Sassyshe has missed a lot of school this past year. She is learning to open up again and talk to the people who love her…especially when she is feeling sad or overwhelmed. Her brother, Kyler is doing his best to help her with her feelings, as are her mom, my cousin, Sandi and her grandmother my Aunt Margee.

As for me, well, I hope this little story of two brothers with a little sister they loved to tease will give her something to smile about too. Today is Destreyia’s 17th birthday. Happy birthday Destreyia!! I hope you will let me help you smile too. Maybe not like Brian did when you were such a little girl, but maybe a memory smile anyway. Have a great day Day Day!! We love you!!

Beautiful MarlyceKids have a tendency to pick on the child who is most bothered by it…especially siblings. In Bob’s family, the child most bothered by it was, none other than Marlyce. She was the oldest child, but with her developmental disabilities, she would never really be the oldest child mentally. Nevertheless, she was able to do most things for herself, and she excelled at knitting and cookie baking. While Marlyce was great at these things, she did not respond well to the normal teasing that kids do with their siblings. That didn’t stop her three sisters and two brothers from teasing her anyway. In fact, for as long as I knew Marlyce, they picked on her rather unmercifully. They weren’t mean about it, but she was sensitive, so she took it wrong. In reality, much of the teasing was funny, and I think especially for the younger siblings, it was all done in pure fun.
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When she wasn’t being teased, Marlyce was very loving to her siblings, and if someone else was picking on them… look out, because Marlyce was their biggest protector. In reality, Marlyce had a very soft heart. Not only did she not like to be teased, but in her opinion, it was simply not right to pick on her siblings either. She might get really mad at them, but she loved each of them dearly.

Another part of Marlyce’s life that held high importance to her was her nieces and nephews. In her opinion they could do almost no wrong…except for that pesky teasing that they embarked on every now and then too. Funny thing though, the nieces and nephews got away with a little bit more when it came to teasing than the rest of the siblings.

Amy with MarlyceAs for me, well normally, I am really into teasing too, but somehow, with Marlyce, I didn’t have the heart for it much. Don’t get me wrong, I could see the humor in the teasing that was done, but I somehow ended up being her protector, I guess. Marlyce was one of the most special people in my life, and I loved her very much. There never was a kinder, sweeter, more loving person on earth. She has been gone from us now for almost 25 years, but in my memory files, I can picture her so vividly telling me that she made her wonderful chocolate chip cookies. I miss her very much, and I look forward to seeing her again. Today would have been Marlyce’s 64th birthday. Happy birthday in Heaven Marlyce. We love you.

CaalabMy second grandson, Caalab always had a smile that lit up his whole face. He had…and still has…a great sense of humor. Teasing people is definitely his strong suit. His sister, Shai didn’t always like his teasing, but then she didn’t always like him either. These days they are such good friends that it warms my heart. That usually happens as kids grow up, but when he was little, Shai really wanted to send him back…or as her t-shirts said…sell him. I think these days she is glad they kept him. I love watching how they interact now. He will just go buy her a Starbuck’s coffee some mornings, because he knows she likes that and needs to wake up. And she will do the same for him. They are getting so grown up that it brings tears to my eyes.

I still remember Caalab as the little boy who couldn’t keep his hands out of my hair. It all started when he was just 6 months old. I have never seen a 6 month old baby who was so Caalab with Grandmagentle with hair, but Caalab was. He never pulled my hair, just gently ran it through his fingers. His play changed over the years, and some of it was pretty comical. One that everyone remembers is the times he slapped my hair…pulling it gently out until his fingers reached the end, then slapping it out of his hand. Lots of people asked me if that bothered me, but after 16 years of having Caalab’s hands in my hair, it was just normal…and he never hurt me. He was great like that. Now that he is older, and has a job that keeps him really busy, I miss that little boy who always played with my hair. He still does it when he is around, but he is just so busy now.

The next year will prove to be a busy one for Caalab. While he only needs one class to graduate, he plans to take several college classes too, so that when he starts college, he will have a head start. I don’t think he has decided what career he wants to pursue yet, so the college classes he takes as a senior will be basics, but that’s ok too. Get those out of the way Caalab & Shai ain high school, and he can go into more specialized classes in his freshman year.

Today that sweet smiling little boy is about 6 feet tall and all muscle. I can’t believe how tall he has grown. He towers over me now, and bears little resemblance to the little boy he used to be…except on the inside. Caalab has a heart of gold, and while he loves to joke around and tease, he is a kind boy. He is always doing sweet little thinks like bringing me flowers for my birthday. He never ceases to amaze me. I have been so blessed to be his grandma. Today is Caalab’s 17th birthday. Happy birthday Caalab!! Have a wonderful day!! We love you!!

Jake HarmanMy grand nephew Jake has always been a goofy kid. His favorite thing to do is make people laugh, and he will do just about anything he can to make that happen. He has been known to sit on people’s laps just to see if they are surprised, and then turn around and goof off with a cousin or two to see if he can make them laugh…while he is sitting on the lap of the first person. Such was the case at the family Christmas party, when Jake sat on my lap and teased Mindy and Missy Grosvenor. We all had a good laugh with him. They though it was quite funny that he was sitting on my lap, and we all three laughed at the funny things he was saying. This is so typical of Jake, and one of the things that makes people like him.

Jake has really never met anyone he didn’t like. Every time I see him, he puts his arms around me and tells me I am his best friend. I don’t think I am really his best friend, but it’s nice that my grand nephew likes me. When you are the great aunt, you kind of figure that you are just a part of that older generation, and the younger ones really don’t give a lot of thought to the older generation, but Jake has always treated me like he enjoys seeing me, and that makes me feel good…but then that is what Jake was trying to accomplish.

I think Jake is the kind of guy who really likes to have everyone around him be happy. That is probably why he likes to joke around with everyone. Jake figures that if he can bring a smile to someone’s face, then he has accomplished his goal for the day. It’s not a bad way to be…especially when people are feeling down. It takes a special kind of person to work to make people smile, and that is what Jake is like. He doesn’t care if he has to look like a clown to do it either. I think that is what makes Jake special to me. Every time I see him he is upbeat and happy. It’s really cool when people can honestly say that about you. Today is Jake’s birthday. Happy birthday Jake!! Have a great day!! We love you!!

Allen Spencer in a water fight with a friend, Ordie at Pattison ParkI found a picture among my Uncle Bill’s family history books, of my dad, Allen Spencer in a water fight with a friend named Ordie at Pattison Park, in Wisconsin, which is just 15 miles east of Holyoke, Minnesota, where the family was living at the time. I could just hear my dad’s laugh as he pummeled his friend with water. Dad had such a great laugh, and he took great pleasure in getting the best of people…in a friendly way, of course. I remember, as a kid, my dad and I used to have sparring matches. Somehow I had it in my head that I could beat him, if I really tried. Our sparring matches weren’t real, of course, but rather a matter of blocking the other persons attempts to pat their opponents face. Dad always won, and he always laughed all the way through our match. I was like a kid with an adult holding onto my head, while I tried to swing and couldn’t hit anything. Dad never held my head, but he almost always blocked my attempts to pat his face. It wasn’t really the sparring matches that drew me back into them, but rather my dad’s laugh. It amused him so Spencer Familymuch, he laughed in pure delight.

Some memories are so vivid that it’s almost as if you can hear the person. Dad’s voice, the way he teased his girls, his laugh, dancing with him on New Year’s Eve, the swatting game he always played with the grandkids from his chair in the kitchen as they tried in vain to run past him before he could swat them, and the whisker rubs he used to give us…laughing all the while. So many great memories of the wonderful dad that God blessed me with. He could even turn a moment when we were really angry or had been fighting with one of our sisters, into a laughing matter, because it was really hard to keep from laughing when he was laughing. I remember really trying a few times though. We would come to him tattling on whichever sister had so wrongly offended us, and he would imitate our whining…while we tried to keep a straight face. Before you knew it, we were both laughing, and the sister incident was forgotten. That was my dad…always the peacemaker.Dad, Alena, Allyn, & Caryl

When a loved one has gone to Heaven, you just never know what things will bring a memory of them that engulfs you. Sometimes, the sadness is overwhelming, and sometimes the memory brings a smile to your face. Either way, it is always unexpected and you are completely unprepared for it. My dad passed away 6 years ago today, and the memories continue to bring both tears and smiles. My mind shows me video clips of those moments in time, and the happiness we all shared with our dad. I see his smile. I remember his teasing. I hear his words of wisdom. And yes, I hear Dad’s laugh. These memories keep him in my heart until we see each other again in Heaven. I love you Dad!!

Ryan and ChelseaMy nephew, Ryan reminds me more and more of his dad, my brother-in-law, Chris every day. They are both very tall men, and they always use that to their advantage when it comes to teasing all the poor, defenseless women and girls around them. Oh, it’s always in good fun, but they always win…no matter what. I guess it’s a good thing we love them, isn’t it. Still that lets them get away with picking on all of us, and Ryan has perfected the art. As much as Ryan likes to pick on all of us though, that isn’t all he is about.

Ryan is a great dad to his kids, Ethan and Aurora. His combination of a teasing kid and a capable dad, makes things at their house very interesting, indeed. And now, I see Ethan displaying those same teasing tendencies. I guess it is something that is passed down from generation to generation. I think Ryan must be a fun dad in so many ways, because when I see him with his kids, they always seem to have such a great time. Ryan has always been great with kids. I remember him playing with some of his younger cousins and the great times they had too.

Ryan is a hard working man who takes good care of his family. He doesn’t put off the things that need doing, such as clearing the trees and snow off of their driveway after the recent storm we had. He had the driveway cleared almost before the storm was over. He also works hard at his job, so his wife, Chelsea can stay at home to care for their two 1175030_10200438894562472_1475851582_nchildren. That may mean he is a little tired at night, but that is simply prioritizing. You have to put the most important things first in your life, and that is exactly what Ryan does, every day.

But, I think, with Ryan, as with many other people, when they meet their true other half, they blossom into the person that has been hiding inside for most of their lives. When Ryan met Chelsea, his true self came out and you could finally see the incredible person that had always been there, only hidden. Today is Ryan’s birthday. Happy birthday Ryan!! Have a great day!! We love you!!

CCI06282012_00082aAs a kid, I remember that when my parents were kissing and we were around to see it, my sisters and I always chanted, “Mommy and Daddy are kissing! Mommy and Daddy are kissing!” It was just a fun way of teasing them…not that it bothered them any. They loved having us chanting and teasing them. I suppose that in some families, there is less demonsterative behaviour, but in our house, hugging and kissing was the norm…and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Kids, for generations, have felt many different things when it comes to romance. They might be laughing about a couple kissing, because they are a little embarrassed, or it could be because they are sure that one of the people kissing are going to end up with cooties, which one depends on whether the watcher is a girl or a boy. Of course, they will outgrow those feelings and they they will be the ones being laughed at, teased, and watched. It is just the nature of the romance business.

And for as long as kids have been making fun of couples in love, people have been trying to capture those moments in one way or another…whether it be on canvas or on film. And for equally as long, those couples have been chasing, yelling at, and telling on the offending youngsters, begging their parents to intervene, and save them from the horrible humiliation of their younger siblings and their friends. Of course, most of their parents just don’t take the matter a seriously as the romantic couple would like…mostly because they have been there and the understand that a little teasing really isn’t the end of the world their children believe it to be. They also understand that in a few years the tables will turn and it will be that younger sibling who will be right there telling on another younger sibling…or possibly that older sibling getting even with them…something older siblings aren’t above either.

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