mommy

CCI06282012_00082aAs a kid, I remember that when my parents were kissing and we were around to see it, my sisters and I always chanted, “Mommy and Daddy are kissing! Mommy and Daddy are kissing!” It was just a fun way of teasing them…not that it bothered them any. They loved having us chanting and teasing them. I suppose that in some families, there is less demonsterative behaviour, but in our house, hugging and kissing was the norm…and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Kids, for generations, have felt many different things when it comes to romance. They might be laughing about a couple kissing, because they are a little embarrassed, or it could be because they are sure that one of the people kissing are going to end up with cooties, which one depends on whether the watcher is a girl or a boy. Of course, they will outgrow those feelings and they they will be the ones being laughed at, teased, and watched. It is just the nature of the romance business.

And for as long as kids have been making fun of couples in love, people have been trying to capture those moments in one way or another…whether it be on canvas or on film. And for equally as long, those couples have been chasing, yelling at, and telling on the offending youngsters, begging their parents to intervene, and save them from the horrible humiliation of their younger siblings and their friends. Of course, most of their parents just don’t take the matter a seriously as the romantic couple would like…mostly because they have been there and the understand that a little teasing really isn’t the end of the world their children believe it to be. They also understand that in a few years the tables will turn and it will be that younger sibling who will be right there telling on another younger sibling…or possibly that older sibling getting even with them…something older siblings aren’t above either.

The moment beforeYou never know what babies have on their minds. They sit and watch as the world goes by around them.  While others get in on all the fun, babies are just stuck, sitting in a high chair, stroller, or in their mommy’s arms. Always held onto, and very seldom free to run with the rest of the crowd.

My grand niece, Aleesia is one of just such a baby. At a little over 1 year in age, she still gets carried much of the time, and she doesn’t find that a bad thing…usually. There are times when she wants to get down and do her own thing, but when she is not at the house, there are fewer opportunities for her to have that freedom she wants. And with 3 brothers and her mom and dad, she gets held a lot even at home…as it should be. Still, her brothers get to go and do so many things that she does not, and that fact does not go un-noticed by our little Aleesia.

Sometimes, when her brothers are goofing off together, she begins to feel left out, and And then...sister mischiefthat…is totally unacceptable. After watching her brothers talking, playing and laughing for a while, Aleesia decides that it is time for them to remember that she is there as well, and they just need to pay attention to her too. In a recent picture shoot, while the family was on an outing, my niece Liz, Aleesia’s aunt, was taking pictures of just Jenny and the kids. They were doing a group pose, and the boys were having a good time joking and laughing amongst themselves, when Aleesia decided that they had ignored her long enough.

Jenny was holding Aleesia in the picture, and Liz…who must have seen what was about to happen…just kept shooting. Aleesia decided that the best way to get her brothers’ attention and get in on the fun, was to reach down and grab Isaac’s hair. I had to wonder how she even managed to get a hold of it at all, because it isn’t very long, but she did. Now, her other brothers thought the whole thing Saving Isaacwas hilarious, and Isaac wasn’t upset by it either, because those boys think their sister is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but it was a bit if a shock to Isaac, nevertheless. And, a person can only take so much hair pulling, so Isaac had to defend his hair, and disengage his little sister’s fingers from it, but since Liz was still snapping those pictures, I was able to see the whole thing play out almost like a movie. And since I’m sure Isaac got to keep his hair in the end, I got to see the totally humorous side of the situation, when little sister got into mischief.

Lucas 2 year oldThe excitement of having a baby is hard to contain. But, finding out that something is wrong is so completely opposite of that excitement, that it has the ability to make you feel like you are dying, even though you have none of the symptoms of impending death. Those feelings come from the unsure future that you and your baby now face. Your thoughts turn to wondering how you are going to deal with all these new challenges. This is where the parents of a child suspected of having Down’s Syndrome, or any other disability find themselves…and where my niece, Cassie and her husband, Chris found themselves two years ago…and Down’s Syndrome was what little baby Lucas was diagnosed with. I’m sure that Cassie and Chris felt all the normal fears, but they bounced right back and have proven themselves to be very capable parents. Lucas is a blessed little boy!

I suppose that you might think that this is a sad story of shattered hopes and dreams, but Baby boy kissesyou couldn’t be more wrong, because Down’s Syndrome is what Lucas has…not who he is. There is no room for sadness in the home that Lucas shares with his mommy and daddy, because Lucas is a happy, smiling baby, who leaves no room for sadness or regret over what might have been. Lucas loves with all he has, and brings so much joy to his parents’ lives, that they simply can’t see how they could be any happier.

There is no sadness in this family because of Down’s Syndrome, because that is just not what defines Lucas. Instead, there are giggles and smiles. There are all the firsts that every baby has…first tooth, first time crawling, sitting up, and so many other milestones. It may take Lucas longer to do these things, but he will do them. There is nothing holding him back. People with Down’s Syndrome can and do live very productive lives.
Daddy's boy
There is no room for sadness in the home where Lucas and his parents live…because it is too full of love for sadness to have any space at all. Sometimes, people think that the parents of a disabled child are always thinking of their hopes and dreams, now all crushed into the dirt, but that just isn’t so. Lucas is making new strides every day. His future is as bright as his smile, that is filled with new little teeth. There is nothing standing in the way of success and a happy life for him and his parents. Today is little Lucas’ 2nd birthday. Happy birthday little man!! Have a wonderful day!! We love you!!

Chelsea 2Few things are harder on a mother, than disciplining their child. Especially when their little darling is so heartbroken about it. And then, if he pulls a 1-800-Grandma on them, it can get worse, because for those of you who haven’t guessed, 1-800-Grandma is when a grandchild tells grandma on mommy, and then mommy has to reiterate that the punishment will stand, even in the face of Grandma’s sad and sympathetic look.

Such was the case the other day at a family gathering, when my niece, Chelsea told her son, Ethan, that he couldn’t have a piece of cake, because he had acted up. Of course, Ethan went to sit with his grandma, my sister, Allyn and told her that he couldn’t have any cake. When she asked him why, he said, crying the whole time, “Mommy won’t let me!!” Like me, Allyn has a really soft heart when it comes to those grandbabies, even though we might have done very differently with our own kids. It’s just that…these are our grandbabies, and we can’t stand denying them anything!!

Of course, this new twist to the situation is about to get…ugly for Mommy. Allyn turned to Chelsea and said, “Why can’t he have cake?” That left Chelsea to defend her decision…or Ethan would know that he could get away with it by going to Grandma. So, Chelsea said, “You know you would do the same thing, if you were me!!” Oops!! Allyn, like me, had stepped into the middle of something we really wished we hadn’t. Just why is it that we don’t turn right round and chew out that grandbaby for putting us in the middle? It’s what we would have done if it were our mom, and our children! So what makes this different? Mostly, it’s that we did not dish out the punishment, and after all…its our grandbaby…so how is it that Grandma can’t fix this little heartbreak for him!!!  That is a grandma’s job…can’t his mother understand that!!

Nevertheless, Chelsea stood her ground, and Ethan got no cake. He will know the next time, that when his mommy says to do something, she means it. It is a lesson that every good mother has to make sure her child learns. If they don’t, they will always be out of control, and no one will want to be around them. Really, she is doing Ethan and his little sister, Aurora a great service by teaching them the rules when they are little, because if Allyn and Ethanthey are little terrors, people don’t want to be around them, and don’t want their kids around them either. Ethan and Aurora are good children, and, as we all know, Grandma’s heart will be ok.

It doesn’t make it any easier to discipline your children, because in reality, it breaks Mommy’s heart too. That is her baby, and even though whatever he did was wrong, not allowing him to have cake is pure torture…for Mommy!!! It is the act of a good mother though, and must be done. Today is Chelsea’s birthday!! She is a good mom. I think Ethan will be a good little boy and will get some cake today. Happy birthday Chelsea!! Have a great day, and don’t make Ethan call 1-800-Grandma!! We love you!!

Rockin' Out at The Shooting RangeMy niece, Jenny and her husband, Steve like to go to the shooting range and shoot their guns with their boys, Xander, Zack, and Isaac. Jenny and Steve also have a little daughter, Aleesia, who is still a baby. Obviously, Aleesia is too young to shoot a gun, but that doesn’t mean she can’t go along to watch the action. Aleesia doesn’t like being left out of the action. In fact, she thinks that everything they do is interesting. She loves watching her brothers, and all their activities. And they love making her smile, so leaving her out of this activity just wouldn’t be fair.

A couple of days ago, Aleesia got her first chance to go to the shooting range with her family. Of course, Jenny and Steve take all the normal precautions to protect their children, including earmuffs to protect their hearing. Aleesia is big enough now to wear the earmuffs, but they are very big on her. They remind me of the old style headphones, and Aleesia, being the happy baby that she is didn’t mind the earmuffs at all. In fact, she thought they were pretty cool!!

I’m sure that for Aleesia, everything sounded very different, and even funny. Because if the muffled noises sound to her like they do to me, it is pretty funny. It kind of sounds like echoes, and who knows what it would sound like to a baby…maybe music. I suppose it could be, and maybe that is what was making her so happy, or maybe she just thought everything sounded weird, so she was smiling. Another possibility is that she just thought it was a funny hat. She is used to headbands, and really likes the way they make her feel girly. And feeling girly in the middle of a shooting range might be difficult for a girly girl.

I know that Aleesia will grow up knowing how to shoot, and how to be safe at it. Her Steve shootingmommy and daddy will make sure of that. It’s something they plan to pass down to all of their children. They will know how to handle all sorts of guns, and they will know that every single life is valuable and precious. I am very proud of what Jenny and Steve are teaching the kids. They are great parents.

As to Aleesia, I’m sure everyone will have their own opinion on just what she was thinking. My personal opinion is that she thought everything she was hearing sounded just like music…or maybe a drum beat. As for me…I think she liked the way it all sounded, and she was just rockin’ out at the shooting range.

Funny facesOnce in a while, you come across a baby, who makes the funniest faces. Reagan is just three months old, but she makes great funny faces. She has great teachers, so you might say it isn’t so unusual, except that she was less than a month old when this first picture was taken. How do you get a baby to make the same face as her daddy, when she is not even a month old? I don’t see how, but here is Reagan, my grandniece doing just that. Amazed, I asked her mom how they got her to do that, she said, “We just asked her nicely and she did.” Of course, she had no idea how it happened either, and yet, Reagan did a perfect  imitation  of  her  daddy  for  this  picture.
Tongue out already
And, we have all seen the pictures that everyone is doing these days, where everyone in the picture has their tongue sticking out, and of course, Little Miss Reagan is no exception. She has to make sure she keeps up with the rest of the in crowd of babies, so as soon as she could work it out, she had her mommy and daddy take the first of these necessary pictures. I mean, a girl has to make the right moves so she can get set up with the in crowd. Not that I expect Reagan to ever have any trouble being in the in crowd, because she has personality to spare. I think she will be a natural in any crowd she wants to be in. Everyone likes a  girl  with  a smile  on her  face,  who  can  make  people  laugh.
Funny Girl
I think Reagan comes by her knack for cute little faces naturally…I mean when you look at the faces her parents make, you have to assume that some of that will rub off on their children. It could be the faces she sees them making, or it could be that she simply inherited it. It is still very odd how she managed to make the same face as her daddy when she wasn’t even looking at him. Maybe they really are two of a kind, or maybe it helps to just ask. However it happened, my guess is that we will be seeing lots more of this little girl making these funny faces, because I think it is just a part of her nature, and I think that her parents funny faces  won’t  hurt  when  it comes  to  working  up  a  funny  face.

Big sisters are a very unique type of person, especially when they are the oldest child. They have gone from being the only child to being a little mommy’s helper in the care of their new little sibling. They are usually young enough to have it in their head that this is their baby, so don’t even tell them that they can’t be the mommy! They don’t like it when you don’t let them be the caregiver of this new baby. Of course, as with any job, they know that there are some things that should be handled by the nanny (ie, Mommy)…like stinky diapers!! Mom is totally welcome to step in at that moment. And if this kid decides to scream, and a bottle won’t fix it, well, call in the nanny. Nanny/Mommy is good for some things, but not when the big sister is in charge. They are for when big sister needs a babysitter for the baby, and nothing more. It is almost as if Mommy is really a surrogate mommy.

While big sisters can be in the way for moms sometimes, it is also very sweet to watch there first attempts at mothering. Girls have a built in mother’s instinct, in most cases, and it comes out in them very early on. From the moment they hold their first doll, they are a mommy in their own mind. Of course, maybe that doll is the reason that they don’t care much for stinky diapers or screaming babies. I mean, that doll was just so much better behaved than that, right? Nevertheless, it doesn’t take long for them to realize that this new baby is a bit different than that baby doll they had, but as they get used to the new baby, they instinctively understand that crying and the smell is just a part of the deal with a younger sibling, so as long as Mommy or somebody else shows up for the tough times, the responsibilities of a big sister are not so bad.

Unfortunately, as the baby gets older, the newness also wears off some, and before the baby is old enpugh to play or walk, the older sister might get tired of helping out. It doesn’t always happen, but sometimes it does. If it happens, it is usually a short period of time, because before too long, the baby is old enough to play with its older sister, and then the fun really begins. With an older sister teaching the younger sibling the ropes, there is no telling what kind of trouble they can manage to get into. In fact, if you think about it, you can probably come up with a whole list of ways you got into trouble with your big sister’s help, or maybe for you it was a big brother, but that is another story.

I was talking to my niece, Chelsea after church the other day, and she mentioned that on the previous Sunday, when her daughter, Aurora simply would not settle down, she took her back to the nursery to play. That went ok, and the next week, they asked Chelsea to bring her back again. When she did, Aurora was so excited that she practically jumped out of her mother’s arms to get into the room. Chelsea said she just about cried.

I was reminded of Amy, when she went to pre-school. She was so ready…just like Aurora. Being the second child, Aurora has watched her brother get to go and play with the neighbor kids, and other assorted cousins, while she is stuck in her mother’s arms, a highchair, stroller, or other such item of…confinement. Like most children with older siblings, this matter frustrates Aurora, and there seems to be no solution…just a life of total unfairness, in which she wonders if she will ever be big!!

So, when she finally found a place where she could go and play with the other kids, and nobody says she can’t, she was delighted. Maybe there was hope for a good life after all!! Aurora was taking no chances. Chelsea brought her back to the nursery, and she knew that Mommy was going to leave and let her stay…just like the big kids get to do. Aurora was the most excited little girl in the world.

So, as soon as she got there, she was off…hoping that her Mommy wouldn’t make her leave just yet. Chelsea, on the other hand, got to stand there feeling just a little bit lonely. Her baby was growing up so quickly. I’m quite sure she was feeling just like I did that day so long ago now…like her baby was going to be all grown up and off on her own, before she hardly had time to blink, and she didn’t like that feeling one little bit.

Children grow up so fast, and once they are grown, we look back on those past years, and wish we could go back somehow, or stop time all together. Unfortunately, time simply will not be stopped. It passes without concern for our feelings. Today is our Independent Aurora’s first birthday. Happy birthday precious baby girl!! We love you so much!! Don’t grow up too quickly, ok!!

 

This has been an exciting weekend…two people have been added to our family. The first by marriage, and the second by birth. In a surprise early delivery, Aleesia Juliette Spethman arrived this morning at 1:52 am, weighing in at 7 pounds 4.3 ounces, and 19.5 inches. She is the daughter of my niece, Jenny and her husband, Steve. What a wonderful weekend this has been.

Jenny and Steve have long waited for a baby girl to raise, and as many of you know, their first baby daughter, Laila Elizabeth Spethman was born November 4, 2010 and passed away November 22, 2010, leaving them with broken hearts and empty arms. While Laila can never be replaced, and will always live in their hearts, this new little life brings with her great joy and much celebrating!!

Aleesia is a beautiful baby girl with lots of dark hair…just like her mommy, and seems to look a lot like her older brother Zackery, who looks a lot like his mommy, so my guess is that Miss Aleesia is going to be Jenny’s mini me, which is so cool for her!!

It is also my guess that this little baby girl has her daddy wrapped around her baby finger already. As you can see from the picture, she has her baby finger out there getting started right now, and this picture was taken less than 30 minutes after she arrived. She is wasting no time getting daddy right where she wants him…but then, I don’t think Steve will mind that much.

Jenny and Steve have been through so much over the past two years, and I am just so pleased and excited for them now. A new day has begun. Their home will now have a new look. Pinks will be the new fashion. Their house will no longer be dominated by toy cars, Spiderman, swords, and dinosaurs, but will now add a mix of baby dolls, cradles, makeup kits, and of course, lots of girly shoes, because we all know that Jenny will raise her daughter to have plenty of shoes. A girl can’t possibly get by with just a couple of pairs!!

Yes, the future in the Spethman home is bright again. The empty arms are gone, and the new daughter is here. Aleesia Juliette with fill their days with sunshine and smiles, hair ribbons and little girl giggles, pink dresses and lots of shoes, and most of all joy!! Happy Being Born Day Aleesia Juliette!! We love you very much!! And congratulations to Jenny, Steve, Xander, Zackery, and Issac on the new little girl in your lives!!

My Aunt Dixie, for the longest time had all grandsons. In fact, I was beginning to wonder if she would ever get a granddaughter, after her daughters gave birth to 5 boys over the years. She had always wanted a granddaughter, too. Well a little over a year and a half ago, she finally go her wish, when Mayme Ruth joined the family. Mayme was that baby that she would be able to do all the girly things with….if she wasn’t too much of a tomboy with 3 brothers in the house.

As it turns out, those boys think their little sister is pretty great, and they dote on her a lot. In fact, I think she is pretty much the princess…or maybe the queen. If she wants anything, they are quick to get it. And while you would think that time would bring that to an end with little boys, I’m told it hasn’t. Even after a year and a half, they love doing things for their baby sister, which when you think about it, is wonderful…not only for her, but for her mom and dad. Those boys have in many ways taken it upon themselves to “babysit” their little sister, as well as entertain her. And they in return get to see her sweet little smiles and hear her delighted giggles. Not a bad deal for anyone.

There is one little downside to this, however. My cousins Raelynn, who is Mayme’s mommy, and Jeannie, who is Mayme’s aunt, both agree that Little Miss Mayme is growing up way too fast. Her big brothers have taught her many things that many babies of 1 1/2 years just don’t know yet. That is something that is inevitable when you want so badly to be just like your big brothers. I’m sure Mayme has worked very hard to please them, and in doing so, she has learned how to talk better, maybe build things like blocks better, and many other such things that big brothers can teach their little sister.

So, yes she is the princess…or maybe the queen, but it has not spoiled her, in fact far from it. I don’t see very much of her, but I’m told that she is just the sweetest little girl ever. And maybe the family is a little biased, but that’s ok, because they waited a long time for this little baby girl, and now they are just enjoying her presence.

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