Family

I was talking to my niece, Chelsea after church the other day, and she mentioned that on the previous Sunday, when her daughter, Aurora simply would not settle down, she took her back to the nursery to play. That went ok, and the next week, they asked Chelsea to bring her back again. When she did, Aurora was so excited that she practically jumped out of her mother’s arms to get into the room. Chelsea said she just about cried.

I was reminded of Amy, when she went to pre-school. She was so ready…just like Aurora. Being the second child, Aurora has watched her brother get to go and play with the neighbor kids, and other assorted cousins, while she is stuck in her mother’s arms, a highchair, stroller, or other such item of…confinement. Like most children with older siblings, this matter frustrates Aurora, and there seems to be no solution…just a life of total unfairness, in which she wonders if she will ever be big!!

So, when she finally found a place where she could go and play with the other kids, and nobody says she can’t, she was delighted. Maybe there was hope for a good life after all!! Aurora was taking no chances. Chelsea brought her back to the nursery, and she knew that Mommy was going to leave and let her stay…just like the big kids get to do. Aurora was the most excited little girl in the world.

So, as soon as she got there, she was off…hoping that her Mommy wouldn’t make her leave just yet. Chelsea, on the other hand, got to stand there feeling just a little bit lonely. Her baby was growing up so quickly. I’m quite sure she was feeling just like I did that day so long ago now…like her baby was going to be all grown up and off on her own, before she hardly had time to blink, and she didn’t like that feeling one little bit.

Children grow up so fast, and once they are grown, we look back on those past years, and wish we could go back somehow, or stop time all together. Unfortunately, time simply will not be stopped. It passes without concern for our feelings. Today is our Independent Aurora’s first birthday. Happy birthday precious baby girl!! We love you so much!! Don’t grow up too quickly, ok!!

 

I have often wondered what it must have been like when the first automobiles were starting to make their way onto the scene. I think that both the people and the horses, or other animals used to pull wagons, must have just about freaked out. People had no idea that such things were possible back then. And the horses…well, after the noise scared the daylights out of them, they probably took off like rockets…maybe inspiring future inventions.

I think that the first thought on peoples’ minds would be to distrust this new fangled contraption. They would wonder if it was going to run away like horses sometimes did, only there would be no reasoning with it or pulling on the reigns to stop it. Or, would it blow up…after all, it was a machine. Or, could it be dangerous…going out of control or rolling over. Maybe they thought all these things, but it’s quite possible that they simply thought that this new fangled machine was an unnecessary luxury…a waste of money…or maybe just for the rich people, who always seemed to be too extravagant anyway. People were used to being conservative with their supplies and their money.

Change is often a difficult thing to accept, and I can imagine that people like my great grandparents were pretty unsure of some of the new inventions that were showing up. They were used to their old ways, and it just seemed very extravigant to buy into these new things. Yes, change is hard to accept, but once we get used to it, many inventions turn out to be not only good things, but in many ways, such as with the automobile, they are destined to become something so necessary to life in this world, that it would be difficult to live without them.

I like to think that my grandparents were among those who accepted change easily. I see them as people who had open minds, and who saw change for what it was…necessary. I like to think of them as the kind of people who wanted to be living in the present, with all it had to offer. Still, I have to wonder what they might think of some of the new fangled contraptions we have today, such as the cell phone, lap top, Kindle, iPhone, and iPad. If you suddenly put those things into the mid-1800’s…wouldn’t that just blow your mind.

The last 2 years or so have been really hard on my niece, Jenny and her husband, Steve. When they found out that their daughter, Laila would be born with a heart defect that would eventually claim her life on November 22, 2010, they were so worried for their first little daughter, and eventually devastated by her loss. It was a really hard time in their lives. They had 3 sons, and their hearts desire was to also have a daughter. They were feeling so empty.  They had a daughter, but not in this world.

That long hard time is in the past now, and people have to move forward in this life. So, believing in God’s love for them, they took a leap of faith and got pregnant again. This pregnancy was to be different. The Ultrasounds they had done, showed a perfect heart in their perfect little girl. They began to plan again….to dream again, and this time, their dream was going to come true. And this little girl was to be due to be delivered by C-section on August 22nd, just a few days before Steve’s birthday. She would be an early birthday present for him.

Little Aleesia Juliette, however, had a different plan. Instead of arriving on the 22nd, she would choose to arrive on the 19th, which also happened to be Steve’s sister, Julie’s birthday. With Aleesia’s birth, healing could truly begin. What a wonderful birthday this one will be for Steve, and for Jenny and the boys, because that little girl they have longed for is finally home and in their arms.

Steve is so much a daddy, and because of that, I know that his heart is so full of joy that it is hard to hold it in. Each of his 5 children are a unique type of joy to him. His family is his life’s blood. They complete him and he completes them. It is so heartwarming to see Steve with his kids. Happy birthday Steve!! I’m so happy for you and Jenny. What a wonderful early birthday present the Lord has given you, and your family. And, the really good news is that you are all home for your birthday, so you can celebrate together. We love you!!

Sometimes, I look at a picture, and a story seems to emerge that may or may not be reality, but it sure seems to be the case. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but maybe pictures are made up of a thousand words. As I looked at this picture of my niece, Lacey, I could see that she had been playing dress up. The frilly blue dress, over the long sleeved T-shirt gave that away. I could also see that she had been eating something, candy or something like that, because there are spots on both dress and face that gave away her little secret.

What I couldn’t say for sure in this picture is whether or not she was sleeping or had she just blinked at the moment the photo was taken. I suspect though that she was not sleeping, since there seems to be a hint of a smile on her little face. She might have blinked, but it occurred to me that maybe she was playing hide and seek. That would make perfect sense to me.

When Lacey was a little girl, she used to love playing these kinds of games, and most especially dress up with her cousin Siara. They were as close as sisters or at the very least, and maybe even more so, they were best friends. It didn’t matter that they were in different grades as school…Lacey is 6 months older than Siara. They still hung out together at school and after school. They also spent the night together as much as possible, and since Siara is my sister, Cheryl’s granddaughter, they often stayed at my mom’s with Mom, Dad, and Cheryl. They always had a great time together, often well into the night, giggling and talking in bed. Of course, that meant that getting the two of them up for church the next day was…well, a huge effort.

Lacey graduated last year, and Siara this year, and both are going into the next phases of their lives. Lacey is studying to be a Cosmetologist, and Siara is just starting her first year of college, and doesn’t know exactly what she wants to do yet, but I know that both these girls will be highly successful and will always make us all proud of them. No matter where life takes these girls, we will always love them very much, and we will never forget the little cuties they were…in their frilly dress up clothes and makeup.

When my grandparents were young, it was not unusual for there to be bigger age differences between a man and his wife. There was a 16 year age difference in my grandparents ages. Grandma was a mere 18 years of age when she became a bride.  I am reminded of a country song called “Love Like Crazy” sung by Lee Brice, in which a couple is told that they are crazy to marry so young. I don’t know if my grandmother’s parents felt that way or not, but that rarely makes a difference to the couple in love anyway. The funny thing about the song is that it ends up pointing out that if a couple “loves like crazy” they can beat the odds and stay together.  That song always reminded me of my grandparents, and I’m not sure exactly why. Maybe because Grandma was so young. I’m sure you will agree that she looked like a little kid.  And while my grandfather was 16 years older, he looked very young too.

For my grandparents, age made no difference. They would have been in love if they were the same age or 16 years apart. You could always hear it in their voices, and see it in their eyes. There is another song that also reminds me of my grandparents. It is “I Only Have Eyes For You” by Frank Sinatra. That is how my grandparents were. From the moment they met, they only had eyes for each other. And even after 50 years together, they still have that look in their eyes. They always would. They just looked so in love.

Their marriage would last for 53 years, until Grandpa went home to be with the Lord in 1980, but the love remained for all time. They were blessed with 9 children, many grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great great grandchildren…too many to easily count. Most of their family and extended family has stayed close to home, making ours one of the largest in Casper, numbering close to or over 300. And of course, some of my grandparents’ brothers and sisters are here too, making for an even larger family.

The love that began when my grandparents first laid eyes on each other, has grown into a love so big and so beautiful, that it could not be contained in just two people, and so it has blossomed in their children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great great grandchildren. It is a love for all time, that reminds me of yet another song called, “Little Houses” by Doug Stone. My grandparents may not have been rich in worldly things, but their lives were so rich in love, that no one would have ever been able to tell if they lacked money. They were so blessed, and they loved like crazy! Does it get any better than that?

My dad was the younger brother. His sister Laura was 12 years older than he was, and his brother was 2 years older. Later there would be another sister, Ruth born in the family. The two brothers were, like most boys, always into something. I think Uncle Bill was so excited about having a little brother, that he set out to become a one man entertainment committee for my dad. He loved to make him laugh, and Uncle Bill could be quite funny…and mischievous. Through the years the two boys would get into lots of mischief, but when my dad was a little boy, his brother Bill was all about being a good big brother. He took his brother outside and played with him…which was a help to their mom too. He kept him laughing, and taught him how to do things…maybe not always a good thing.

Dad loved his big brother, and like most little boys, loved having his big brother pull him around in the wagon. But then what kid doesn’t. The wagon is almost like having a car, except that you have to find a motor for it, and the best motor is a big brother who doesn’t mind doing all the work, so his little brother, or sister, can have a good time. And Uncle Bill was a good big brother. He and my dad had lots of adventures, many wagon rides, fishing trips, and other such good times, but after all…what are big brothers for.

My nephew, Barry was another of those good big brothers to his brothers when they were little. Barry is also 10 years older than his brother JD, and almost 12 years older than his brother Eric. Barry was a big helper when his brothers were little. It was even easier for him to pull them around in the wagon. And they, like all other little kids, totally loved it. Big brothers can be the coolest of friends when their little brothers a pretty little. It doesn’t always continue on into the teenage years, but usually resurfaces when they grow up.

Like my dad and his brother, Barry and his brothers, JD and Eric are best of friends to this day. I think there is a bond between brothers that is very special. They are friends no matter the age difference. Yes, sisters have that too, but it is very different than brothers. When I look at how these boys were with each other, its easy to see that the little guys look up to the big guys…want to be just like them, and the big guys, whether they admit it or not, think their little brother is the greatest. They want to show their little brothers the ropes, do the guy things, and help them grow into good men, because after all, what are big brothers for.

Today is the first day of school. Where did the summer go? I know that most parents of school aged kids are very ready for the new school year to begin. Many of the kids are bored and driving their parents crazy. I can understand that, but as a grandmother…who has seen how fast time flies…how quickly children grow up…how soon they are married, I wish time would slow down. My girls are grown and married, and 3 of my grandchildren are in high school, and a 4th in his last year of middle school. How can that be?? Two of my grandchildren are driving, and a third has his permit. The youngest will be 14 years old in September. Where have all the years gone?

As the new school year begins, the kids dread the school work and the early mornings, but a few short years from now, when they are watching their own children go to school, grow up, graduate, and move on with their lives, they will wish they could slow down the time too. To the kids, I say don’t waste a minute of this special time in your lives, wishing it was over. Experience the school activities. Enjoy your young life. The future is coming, and then you will be working, like everyone else. No more summers of relative freedom. No more freedom to spend your money largely as you want to, for when you are on your own, you will have bills to pay, food to buy, insurance, car payments, and school supplies for your kids. You will look back on this time and think, “Man, if I just had that freedom…money…time…those years, back!”

I’m very proud of my girls and my grandkids. They have grown into wonderful people. My girls are among those ready for school to start, and my grandkids are wishing summer was just starting. None of them can totally relate to what I see of the whole situation. They are too close to it in one way or the other. My girls…my babies…are all grown up with almost grown kids of their own, and my grandkids are almost grown too. They should all still be babies, but instead, today they are back in school mode, because, ready or not, we are at Summer’s end!

Alzhiemer’s patients, as you probably know lose their short term memory, but the more distant past is so clear that sometimes it seems like that is where they still live. In many ways, this is a truly sad fact of their lives, but if you look on the bright side of things, you can find a little bit of humor in an otherwise losing situation. And, when dealing with Alzheimer’s disease, you really need to find things to smile about. My mother-in-law and I have a very good relationship, but with Alzheimer’s disease, that doesn’t come without a few disagreements. As her mind progresses backward in time, she has become somewhat kidlike. Another problem she has is very itchy skin, and she scratches too hard, injuring her skin, so I have to stop her from scratching. Whenever I try to stop her, she says, “Don’t Esther!!” The first time she said that, it shocked me. My husband, Bob has an Aunt Esther, but we don’t look alike or anything, so I didn’t know where that came from.

I had the pleasure of visiting with Esther a few days ago, and I mentioned this funny sequence os events, and told her that she was helping with Mom’s care clear from Oregon…or rather she was doing all the stuff that got me in trouble. I told her that it was better for me, if she was the one who got the blame. We had a nice little laugh and then she told me that she knew why she said that to me.

When Esther was a young girl, her family lived on a ranch in Montana. Her brother, Bob’s dad had married by then, and was living in town. Winters in Montana can be pretty severe, making it hard for kids to get to school from the outlying areas. Periodically, Esther came to stay with her brother and his wife, Bob’s mom. As you know, kids can be roudy, and mischievous. It doesn’t mean they are bad…just kids. Being a mom herself, my mother-in-law had to keep order in her house, so whenever Esther would do something she didn’t like, she would say, “Don’t Esther!!” Her own kids, she might spank, but it’s a little different with your sister-in-law, so her main recourse was simply to say, “Don’t Esther!!”

Now it all made sense. I always knew who she was talking about, but didn’t understand how she was connecting me with Esther. We laughed about that for quite a while, and I told Esther that in my opinion it was better for her to take the blame, since she was a lot further away, and doesn’t have to have Mom really be mad at her. As for me, when faced with doing something my mother-in-law doesn’t like, or doesn’t want to do…well, I’ll just tell her that Esther did it. It will sure keep me out of trouble…sorry about that Esther!!

Have you ever noticed how little children interact with other kids? They don’t have to be kids who are younger than they are, and in fact most often it is kids who are older and bigger than they are. It seems that at one time or another, those little kids all have to squat down to look up at another child. This comes, of course, from watching their parents squat down to talk to them. They just think that is how you talk to people. My grand niece, Siara was no exception to that rule. Even though she was, and still is, smaller than most people her age, she thought the proper way to talk to people was to squat down and then look up at them. It was the funniest thing to watch. She thought she was being such a big girl. For her, I suppose that time of people squatting down to talk to her went on longer than most kids, because she was so little. 

Of course, those days of childhood innocence and childlike ideas are quickly over, as children mature and find out why people do things like squatting down to talk to a child. Sometimes I wish those cute little moments could last forever, but then we would not get to meet the adult the child will become, so I guess it is for the best that they grow up. I just wish the years would not fly by so very fast. When I look at this picture, and think back to the time when Siara was just a little toddler, it makes me feel a little bit sad that her childhood is over now. It feels like it was just yesterday the she arrived into our lives, the teeny little daughter of my teeny little niece, Chantel. 

Today we are attending a going away party for Siara, who is leaving tomorrow for college in Great Falls, Montana. I’m sure the party will be filled with laughter and tears, since we are happy for her to be starting this next chapter in her life, but sorry for ourselves that this chapter is over and she will be leaving us for a while. Yes, she will be back a Christmas, and next summer, but that is simply not the same at all, and looking at the beautiful woman she has become, I find myself feeling very proud of her, and yet, still missing the little teeny girl who thought she needed to be squatting down to look up to talk to people.

This has been an exciting weekend…two people have been added to our family. The first by marriage, and the second by birth. In a surprise early delivery, Aleesia Juliette Spethman arrived this morning at 1:52 am, weighing in at 7 pounds 4.3 ounces, and 19.5 inches. She is the daughter of my niece, Jenny and her husband, Steve. What a wonderful weekend this has been.

Jenny and Steve have long waited for a baby girl to raise, and as many of you know, their first baby daughter, Laila Elizabeth Spethman was born November 4, 2010 and passed away November 22, 2010, leaving them with broken hearts and empty arms. While Laila can never be replaced, and will always live in their hearts, this new little life brings with her great joy and much celebrating!!

Aleesia is a beautiful baby girl with lots of dark hair…just like her mommy, and seems to look a lot like her older brother Zackery, who looks a lot like his mommy, so my guess is that Miss Aleesia is going to be Jenny’s mini me, which is so cool for her!!

It is also my guess that this little baby girl has her daddy wrapped around her baby finger already. As you can see from the picture, she has her baby finger out there getting started right now, and this picture was taken less than 30 minutes after she arrived. She is wasting no time getting daddy right where she wants him…but then, I don’t think Steve will mind that much.

Jenny and Steve have been through so much over the past two years, and I am just so pleased and excited for them now. A new day has begun. Their home will now have a new look. Pinks will be the new fashion. Their house will no longer be dominated by toy cars, Spiderman, swords, and dinosaurs, but will now add a mix of baby dolls, cradles, makeup kits, and of course, lots of girly shoes, because we all know that Jenny will raise her daughter to have plenty of shoes. A girl can’t possibly get by with just a couple of pairs!!

Yes, the future in the Spethman home is bright again. The empty arms are gone, and the new daughter is here. Aleesia Juliette with fill their days with sunshine and smiles, hair ribbons and little girl giggles, pink dresses and lots of shoes, and most of all joy!! Happy Being Born Day Aleesia Juliette!! We love you very much!! And congratulations to Jenny, Steve, Xander, Zackery, and Issac on the new little girl in your lives!!

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